also don't forget that COLA for 2026 is supposed to be announced soon! thats probably more important for your benefits than this executive order thing

Thanks everyone for all the helpful responses! I feel much better now understanding that this doesn't affect my actual Social Security benefits. I think I need to be more careful about what news I listen to - they made it sound much more dramatic than it actually is.

A few more points to consider before you make your decision: 1. If your boyfriend's SSDI is based on a relatively high earnings history, and your alimony is based on a lower income level, getting married might make financial sense. But based on the numbers you've shared ($1,675 SSDI, $1,950 alimony), it appears marriage would create a financial shortfall. 2. Look beyond just monthly cash flow. Marriage affects inheritance rights, medical decision-making, tax filing status, and healthcare access. Some of these could provide significant financial or practical benefits. 3. Some divorces have provisions for partial continuation of alimony even after remarriage - check your divorce decree carefully. 4. Remember that your spousal benefit would increase if your boyfriend waits until his Full Retirement Age to convert from SSDI to retirement benefits. This is a complex decision that merges financial considerations with emotional ones. I'd recommend consulting both an SSA representative and a financial advisor who specializes in retirement planning before making your decision.

My cousin was in a similar situation last year. She ended up just living with her boyfriend without getting legally married. They had a commitment ceremony with family and friends, exchange rings, call each other husband and wife, but legally they're single. That way she keeps her alimony and there's no negative impact on his benefits. They've been happy with this arrangement. Obviously there are some legal protections you don't get this way, but they took care of most of that with wills, advanced directives, and power of attorney documents. Something to consider if the numbers don't work out for a legal marriage.

One more important thing to ask: Whether they recommend you file for SSI concurrently with your SSDI application. While your work history likely qualifies you for SSDI, depending on your current financial situation, you might also qualify for SSI during the waiting period. Some attorneys automatically file both, others don't unless you specifically request it. Also ask about their approach to the Activities of Daily Living questionnaire - this form can make or break your case. A good attorney will help you complete it accurately without accidentally undermining your claim.

One more thing! Ask them what happens if you get denied and THEY want to drop your case. My friend had a lawyer who dumped her after the first denial because her case "wasn't strong enough" and she had to start all over with a new attorney. Get that policy in writing!

@OP Yes, there will be a gap. After your youngest turns 16, your caregiver benefits stop, and you won't be eligible again until either your own early retirement age (62) or your full retirement age. This is often called the "caregiver gap" and unfortunately, there's not much you can do about it unless you qualify for some other type of benefit. Many people return to work during this period if possible.

One more important thing: Benefits for children and caregivers may reduce the total family benefits due to the Family Maximum Benefit limit, but they do NOT reduce your husband's own retirement benefit. His check stays the same regardless of how many dependents receive benefits on his record. And yes, you'll have a gap between when your youngest turns 16 and when you can claim retirement benefits (earliest at 62).

Just to follow up on the survivor benefit discussion - that's absolutely correct. Maximizing your individual benefits also maximizes potential survivor benefits, which is an important consideration for married couples. To sum up your situation: 1. The "restricted application" strategy (claiming spousal while letting your own grow) is not available to you since you were born after January 1, 1954. 2. When you file for benefits, you'll be deemed to be filing for all benefits you're eligible for and will receive the highest amount. 3. At your current age of 68, your own retirement benefit has already accumulated significant delayed retirement credits and is almost certainly higher than any spousal benefit you could receive. 4. Both of you waiting until 70 to claim will maximize your individual benefits and also provide the highest potential survivor benefit for whichever of you lives longer. Based on the information you've provided, waiting until 70 appears to be your optimal strategy.

my sister tried to do what ur talking about and SSA said no. but then she went to a different office and they told her something completely different! the right hand doesnt know what the left is doing over there lol