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Also just wanted to say... I'm sorry about his ex-wife's condition. Even though they're divorced, I know it can still be emotional when someone you shared that much life with is in hospice. Sending good thoughts to everyone involved.
I'm so sorry you're going through this difficult situation. From what I understand about SSA rules, your boyfriend should definitely be eligible for surviving divorced spouse benefits since they were married over 10 years and neither remarried. The good news is that at 77, he's well past full retirement age, so he could potentially receive up to 100% of her benefit amount if it's higher than his current payment. One thing I'd suggest is calling SSA now (before she passes) to get a clear understanding of the process and what documents he'll need. That way you can be prepared and won't have to navigate the bureaucracy during such an emotional time. They should be able to walk you through exactly what his benefits would look like based on both of their earnings records. My heart goes out to you both during this challenging time. Even divorced couples often maintain some connection after 20 years together, so I imagine this brings up a lot of complex feelings.
One more consideration: if you file for retirement now but later get approved for SSDI before reaching Full Retirement Age, you could switch to the higher SSDI benefit. This gives you income security now while preserving the option for a higher benefit if your disability claim succeeds. Given your medical conditions and limited work history since 2019, a new SSDI application might be worthwhile, especially with proper medical documentation.
That's really interesting - I didn't know you could switch from retirement to SSDI! That might be the best of both worlds. I'll definitely look into reapplying for SSDI with my updated medical records. And I'll use that Claimyr service someone mentioned to talk directly with SSA without the phone anxiety. Thank you all for the helpful advice!
Just wanted to add my experience - I was in a similar situation with a personal injury settlement and was worried about how it would affect my Social Security. The SSA representative I spoke with confirmed that settlement payments are NOT considered earned income for the earnings test, so you can collect retirement benefits without reduction due to that income. However, I'd strongly encourage you to consider the SSDI route that others mentioned. With your combination of physical and mental health conditions plus limited work history since 2019, you might have a much stronger case now than when you first applied. SSDI would give you your full benefit amount regardless of age, and if approved, you'd also get Medicare after 24 months. The worst they can do is deny you again, but the medical landscape and your documented work limitations have likely changed since your last application. Good luck with whatever path you choose!
Quick update based on what others have shared: There IS currently a processing issue affecting some direct deposits this month, per the SSA operations notice released yesterday. However, account lockouts due to phone number changes are a separate issue. When you speak with SSA, ask specifically about both: 1. The May 2025 direct deposit processing delay (reference notice AM-25411) 2. Your account access issue related to phone number change These will likely need to be handled by different departments, so be prepared to possibly speak with more than one person. If they try to only address one issue, politely insist on resolving both before ending the call.
I went through something very similar last year when I moved and forgot to update my phone number with SSA. My payment was delayed for almost 3 weeks! What saved me was going to my local office first thing in the morning with multiple forms of ID - they were able to verify my identity and unlock my account same day. Pro tip: If you do go in person, bring your Social Security card, driver's license, AND a recent bank statement or utility bill. The more documentation you have, the faster they can process your identity verification. Also, ask them to print out a receipt showing they've updated your contact info - sometimes the system doesn't sync properly between departments. The phone wait times are absolutely brutal right now, so if your local office isn't too far, that might be your best bet for getting this resolved quickly.
Thank you for the practical advice about bringing multiple forms of ID! I'm definitely leaning toward going in person now after hearing about everyone's phone wait times. Do you remember what time you got there to be "first thing in the morning"? I'm wondering if I should plan to arrive before they even open to avoid crowds.
Thanks everyone for the suggestions! I checked my my Social Security account and downloaded my benefit verification letter like some of you suggested. It turns out they increased my tax withholding from 10% to 22% without sending me any notice! The COLA increase was applied, but the extra withholding more than wiped it out. I've been trying to call for three days with no luck getting through. I'll try the Claimyr service that was suggested since I really need to get this fixed before next month's payment. I need to submit a new W-4V form to reduce my withholding back to 10%. Really appreciate all the help! I'll update once I get this resolved.
Glad you figured it out! Yes, definitely submit a new W-4V form as soon as possible. It might not be processed in time for next month's payment, but they should adjust it after that. When you speak with them, ask specifically why your withholding rate was increased without notification - they're required to send notices for these changes. Also ask if they can refund the excess withholding from January immediately rather than waiting until you file taxes.
I'm glad you found the issue with your tax withholding! That's a huge jump from 10% to 22% without notice - that would definitely explain the $100 drop even with the COLA increase. Just wanted to add that when you submit your new W-4V form, you can also request that they process it as "urgent" due to financial hardship if that $100 difference is causing you problems with your monthly budget. Sometimes they can expedite the processing. Also, keep copies of everything you submit and get confirmation numbers when possible. If they continue to have problems with sending proper notices, you might want to update your contact information in your my Social Security account to make sure they have your current address and phone number. Hope the Claimyr service works out for you - waiting on hold for hours is just ridiculous when you're trying to fix their mistake!
Hunter Hampton
my brother waited till 70 to collect and then died at 72! all those years of not collecting and higher benefit gone to waste. jus something to think about
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Libby Hassan
•Sorry about your brother. That's always the risk with delaying benefits. But in the original poster's case, he's considering the potential survivor benefit for his wife too. If his wife outlives him by many years, the higher survivor benefit could still make delaying worthwhile for their household overall.
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Liv Park
As someone who just went through this decision process myself, I'd recommend getting a personalized Social Security statement and running some breakeven analyses. The key factors to consider are your life expectancy, your wife's life expectancy, and your current financial needs. One thing that helped me was calculating the "crossover point" - how long you'd need to live to make up for the benefits you'd lose by delaying. For example, if you delay from 67 to 70, you give up 3 years of payments but get roughly 24% higher benefits for life. Also consider your wife's perspective - she's already 64, so those spousal benefits could provide meaningful income for potentially many years. The guaranteed $625/month might be worth more to your household than the uncertain larger survivor benefit later. Have you looked into whether either of you has any health issues that might affect longevity planning? That could really influence the optimal timing decision.
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