This is absolutely unacceptable and I'm so sorry you're dealing with this violation of your privacy! As someone new to this community, I'm shocked to learn that SSA employees would disclose such sensitive personal information to an ex-spouse. From what I'm reading in these responses, it sounds like you have strong grounds for filing complaints. The fact that they gave him your phone number and current location is particularly egregious - there's no legitimate reason for that information to be shared, especially given the potential safety concerns for people escaping abusive relationships. I hope the formal complaint process works out for you and that SSA takes this seriously. It's clear from other comments here that this isn't an isolated incident, which makes it even more important that you pursue this. Thank you for sharing your experience - it's helping others understand what could happen and how to protect themselves. Stay strong and don't let them brush this off as a "minor mistake" - what happened to you was a serious breach of federal privacy protections.

As someone new to this community, I'm absolutely horrified by what happened to you. The breach of your privacy is inexcusable, and I can't imagine how violated and unsafe you must feel having your ex-spouse suddenly contact you after 20+ years with your personal information. What strikes me most is the complete double standard - they wouldn't tell YOU basic information about your ex when you filed, citing privacy, but then they freely gave him detailed financial information AND your contact details? That's not just inconsistent policy application, it's potentially dangerous for people who may have fled abusive situations. I'm glad to see so many knowledgeable community members here giving you concrete steps to take. The suggestion to file with the Office of Inspector General seems crucial, and I hope you also consider the legal consultation route that was mentioned. This isn't just about your individual case - SSA needs to be held accountable for these systematic privacy violations that could put people in real danger. Thank you for sharing this experience. It's eye-opening for those of us who might assume our information would be protected. I hope you get the justice and resolution you deserve, and that your situation helps prevent this from happening to others.

Thank you everyone for the helpful responses! I've set up USPS Informed Delivery as suggested and will try using Claimyr to reach SSA by phone. It's disappointing that the online system doesn't show survivor benefits in 2025, but at least I know what to expect now. I'll make sure to watch my mail carefully and follow up if I don't hear anything in the next couple weeks.

I went through this same situation when my mom passed away two years ago. The lack of online tracking for survivor benefits is really frustrating, especially when you're already dealing with grief and paperwork. One thing that helped me was keeping a detailed log of every interaction - dates I called, reference numbers, what was discussed. When I finally got through to someone, having that information made the conversation much more productive. Also, if you have any local senior centers or AARP chapters nearby, they often have volunteers who are very knowledgeable about navigating SSA processes and can provide guidance. Hang in there - the process does eventually work out, it's just unfortunately slow and old-fashioned.

I'm so sorry you're going through this stress during what's already a difficult time. As someone who works with SSA benefit issues, I can tell you that representative payee determinations for survivor benefits at age 62 are indeed unusual and often clerical errors. The fact that your letter specifically asks for a family member to call suggests this isn't just informational material - it's an active determination that needs immediate attention. Don't ignore this as some have suggested, as it will definitely delay your February payment. Here's what I recommend: First, try the phone service mentioned by Dmitri - it might save you hours of waiting. If you do get through, be prepared with your Social Security number, the letter, and ask specifically what evidence they have that you need a payee. Often these are triggered by simple checkbox errors during application processing. If phone doesn't work, definitely go to your local office first thing tomorrow with the letter and any documentation showing your competency (bank statements, bills you pay, etc.). The sooner you address this, the better chance you have of getting your February payment on time. Keep us updated - your experience could help others facing similar issues!

I went through something very similar when I applied for survivor benefits after losing my wife. The representative payee letter came about 2 weeks after my approval letter and it turned out to be a system error - apparently there's a glitch that sometimes triggers these determinations for new survivor benefit applications. I was able to get it resolved by going to my local SSA office with the letter and my ID. The agent immediately saw it was an error and cleared it up in about 30 minutes. She said they've been seeing more of these lately and it's usually just a computer mistake during the application processing. Don't panic about your February payment - once they correct the error, your benefits should proceed as originally scheduled. Just make sure to get this handled ASAP so there's no delay. Bring any documentation that shows you're managing your own finances (bank statements, checkbook, etc.) just in case they ask, though they probably won't need it if it's clearly a system error like mine was.

I'm so sorry for your loss and the additional stress this bureaucratic maze is putting you through. What you went through caring for your uncle shows real dedication, and it's heartbreaking that the system doesn't recognize that. From what I'm reading in the other responses, it sounds like you have a solid path forward through establishing yourself as the estate representative. I wanted to add one more thing that might help - when you do file your appeal or reapplication, consider including a brief letter explaining the circumstances. Sometimes having a human story attached to the paperwork can make a difference, especially since you were his primary caregiver. Also, if your uncle received any veterans benefits or had any other federal benefits, those agencies sometimes have different rules for final payments that might be worth looking into. Keep pushing forward - you clearly cared deeply for your uncle, and you deserve to have your expenses covered. The system is complicated but not impossible to navigate when you know the right steps.

I'm really sorry for your loss and the frustration you're dealing with on top of everything else. Your dedication to caring for your uncle during his final months is truly admirable. Based on what everyone has shared here, it sounds like you have legitimate options to pursue this. The estate representative route seems like your strongest path forward, especially since there are no higher-priority survivors. One thing I'd add - when you're gathering documentation for the small estate process, make sure to include any evidence that shows you were acting on your uncle's behalf during his lifetime (bank records showing you paid his bills, medical appointment records, etc.). This can help establish that you were already functioning as his informal representative before his death. Also, if you do use a service like the one mentioned to get through to SSA, it might be worth having them confirm exactly which forms you need and what documentation they'll accept as proof of your estate representative status before you submit everything. The 60-day deadline is crucial, but don't let the time pressure force you into filing incomplete paperwork. As someone mentioned, you can file the appeal first to preserve your rights while you're getting the estate documentation together. Wishing you success with this process - you clearly went above and beyond for your uncle and deserve to be reimbursed for those expenses.

my ssdi payment was late to and im not overseas!! they doing it to everyone this month i think

As someone who helps family members navigate Social Security issues, I want to add that it's worth noting the MySocialSecurity online portal shows different information for overseas recipients during these delays. Instead of the usual "Payment Sent" status, it may show "Payment Processing" for several extra days. This is normal during the new verification process and doesn't indicate a problem with the account. Also, if your mother uses a local Thai bank, she should check if they have any additional processing time for international wire transfers - some banks hold these for 1-2 business days for their own verification before depositing to accounts.