As someone who's been through the SSA maze myself, I'd definitely recommend scheduling that in-person appointment! The automated messages you're getting are just their standard processing notifications - they don't really tell you anything useful about your actual SSI eligibility. The reality is that with your husband's military retirement and VA disability income totaling $5,600/month, you're likely over the SSI income limits (which are around $1,415/month for couples in 2025). But it's still worth getting an official determination so you know for sure. One thing to keep in mind: when your husband does claim his Social Security at 62 in 2028, your spousal benefit will be based on his reduced amount since he's claiming before full retirement age. Given that you already have his military pension and VA disability for income, you might want to crunch the numbers on whether it makes sense for him to wait until his full retirement age (probably 67) to maximize both of your lifetime benefits. Also, don't forget about TRICARE for Life when he turns 65 - that plus Medicare will give you excellent healthcare coverage even if you have to wait a bit longer for it. Hang in there!

I really feel for your situation! As a military spouse myself, I know how isolating it can feel when the system doesn't seem designed for people who've sacrificed their own careers for service and caregiving. Based on what others have shared, your household income of $5,600/month unfortunately puts you well over the SSI limits. But here's something encouraging - spousal Social Security benefits are typically much better than SSI anyway! When your husband claims at 62, you could potentially get up to 50% of his benefit amount, which will likely be significantly more than the maximum SSI payment. That said, I'd echo what others have mentioned about considering whether he should wait past 62 to claim. Since you have his military retirement and VA disability providing a solid foundation, running the numbers on waiting until his full retirement age (probably 67) could mean substantially higher lifetime benefits for both of you. Also, don't overlook that you'll eventually have an amazing healthcare setup with Medicare + TRICARE for Life - that's honestly one of the best healthcare combinations you can have in retirement. The waiting is frustrating, but you're actually in a much better position than many people. Your husband's military service is going to provide you with multiple layers of financial security that most civilian couples don't have access to. Hang in there!

Thank you all for the incredibly helpful information! This cleared up so much confusion. Based on what I'm hearing, it sounds like my best strategy is to continue working until my FRA and then apply for benefits - either my own or ex-spouse benefits, whichever is higher at that point. I'm going to try to get through to SSA to confirm all these details for my specific situation. It's frustrating that these rules are so complicated, but I'm grateful for all your insights!

Just wanted to add one more consideration that might be helpful - since you mentioned your ex's benefit will be about twice yours, make sure you're comparing apples to apples. When you say "twice what mine would be," are you comparing both benefits at full retirement age? Also, don't forget that your own benefit can continue to grow with delayed retirement credits if you wait past your FRA (up to 8% per year until age 70), but ex-spouse benefits don't get those delayed credits. So depending on how much higher your ex's benefit actually is, it might be worth running the numbers on waiting until 70 for your own benefit vs. taking the ex-spouse benefit at FRA. The Social Security website has a retirement estimator that can help you model different scenarios, though talking to SSA directly is still your best bet for personalized advice!

I'm in almost the same boat (69, working full-time, taking SS since Jan 2025). My tax guy told me that the payroll withholding counts exactly the same as quarterly estimated payments. But he did say to check what my actual tax liability is likely to be. Don't forget that up to 85% of your SS benefits could be taxable depending on your total income. Make sure your extra $200/paycheck covers that. I'm having $275 extra taken out per paycheck just to be safe.

I went through this exact same situation last year when I turned 67 and started collecting SS while still working! The frustration with getting clear answers from both SSA and IRS is so real - I must have spent 6 hours on hold between the two agencies. What you're doing with the extra $200 withholding is perfect. I did something similar and had no issues at tax time. The key thing I learned is that as long as your total withholding (regular + extra) covers either 90% of this year's tax or 100% of last year's tax, you're golden. No penalties, no quarterly payment forms needed. One tip: keep good records of when you started the extra withholding and how much. It helped me when I filed my taxes to have everything documented. Also, don't let anyone scare you into thinking you need to do BOTH withholding AND quarterly payments - that's overkill and completely unnecessary. You're handling this the smart way. The extra withholding from your paycheck is actually better than quarterly payments because the IRS treats it as if you paid evenly throughout the year, even though you didn't start until August.

I read somewhere that for couples with big differences in their benefit amounts, there's almost ALWAYS an advantage to the lower-benefit spouse filing early and the higher-benefit spouse delaying, especially considering survivor benefits. Has anyone else seen research on this? Or is this just conventional wisdom that doesn't always hold up with actual numbers?

As someone who went through this exact decision process two years ago, I can share what we learned. My wife and I had a similar PIA gap ($850 vs $3,900), and after consulting with a fee-only financial planner who specialized in Social Security, we ended up with the "62/70 split" strategy that others have mentioned. The key insight was realizing that the break-even calculations change dramatically when you factor in the survivor benefit scenario. Yes, the lifetime benefit difference might seem small when both spouses are alive, but the protection for the surviving spouse (likely you) is substantial. We also discovered that having other retirement assets actually makes delaying MORE valuable, not less, because you can afford to let the higher benefit grow while living off savings. The enhanced survivor benefit essentially becomes a form of longevity insurance that you can't buy anywhere else. One practical tip: Get your actual benefit estimates from SSA (not calculators) and run the numbers assuming you live to 90-95, not just average life expectancy. The differences become much more meaningful over longer time horizons. Given your solid retirement savings, I'd strongly consider having your husband delay to 70 while you file at 62. The survivor benefit protection alone is probably worth it.

Thank you all so much for the helpful information. I'm going to try calling SSA again tomorrow and ask specifically about: 1. The exact amount I would receive if I switch to survivor benefits now vs. at my FRA 2. Whether I should continue with my own benefit or switch to survivor benefits 3. That $255 death benefit I hadn't heard about I'll ask to speak with a technical expert if the representative seems unsure. I'm feeling much more prepared now thanks to all your explanations. I'll update here once I get some answers from SSA.

I'm so sorry for your loss, Isabella. You're asking all the right questions and it sounds like you're getting great advice here. One additional thing to consider - when you call SSA tomorrow, also ask about retroactive benefits. Since your husband passed in February and you're just now getting this sorted out, you may be entitled to survivor benefits dating back to the month after his death. This could result in a lump sum payment for the months you've missed. The SSA doesn't always mention this automatically, so make sure to specifically ask about it. Also, bring a copy of the death certificate when you visit in person if the phone calls don't work out - sometimes having all documentation in hand speeds up the process. Wishing you the best with this difficult situation.