dont forget about the spending requirements! my cousin was rep payee for her mom and she got in trouble for using the money wrong. u gotta spend it only on your sister and keep all the receipts!

I went through this exact process with my dad last year when he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. A few things that really helped us: 1. **Documentation timing is critical** - Get all the POA paperwork done NOW while your sister can still understand and sign. We waited just 2 months too long and had to go the guardianship route which cost us $8,000+ and took 6 months. 2. **For the SSA rep payee application** - They'll likely request a "Statement of Claimant's Medical Sources" (Form SSA-787) that her doctors need to fill out. Get this from her neurologist/psychiatrist who diagnosed the dementia - general practitioners sometimes aren't detailed enough for SSA. 3. **Set up a dedicated checking account** for her benefits BEFORE you get approved. This makes the annual reporting so much easier. I use a simple spreadsheet to track every expense with receipt photos. 4. **Contact her Medicare plan administrator** too - rep payee status doesn't automatically give you authority to handle Medicare issues, and you'll likely need to deal with coverage decisions as her condition progresses. The 8-week timeline is pretty accurate in my experience. Hang in there - it's overwhelming at first but getting organized now will save you so much stress later!

To answer your follow-up question: No, if you file for benefits and then suspend them (using the voluntary suspension option available after Full Retirement Age), ALL benefits based on your record - including your daughter's - would stop during the suspension period. This is due to changes made by the Bipartisan Budget Act of 2015. So unfortunately, there's no way to "have your cake and eat it too" in this situation. You either: 1. File now at 68 - you get reduced benefits for life but your daughter gets benefits until 18 2. Wait until 70 - you get maximum benefits for life but your daughter gets nothing until you file (by which time she'll be 16, so only 2 years of eligibility) Given your family history of longevity (parents living to their 90s), waiting until 70 might still be your best financial strategy, despite missing out on some child benefits. At age 90, you would have received substantially more by waiting, even accounting for your daughter's benefits.

I'm a newcomer here but have been researching this exact situation for my own family. One thing I haven't seen mentioned yet is the family maximum benefit cap. Social Security has a limit on the total amount that can be paid to a family based on one worker's record - typically 150-180% of the worker's PIA. In your case with just you and your daughter receiving benefits, you probably won't hit this cap, but it's worth asking SSA about when you call. Also, since your wife is still working and younger, you might want to consider how her future benefits factor into your overall retirement income strategy. Another consideration: if your daughter plans to attend college, those child benefits could help with education expenses during her last few years of eligibility. Some families find it helpful to have that guaranteed income stream for college planning, even if the overall math slightly favors waiting until 70. Have you considered doing a consultation with a Social Security claiming strategist? Given the complexity and the dollar amounts involved, it might be worth the fee to get personalized analysis.

As someone who just turned 62 and is starting to research all this, I'm honestly shocked by how many people have missed out on benefits they were entitled to! Reading through everyone's experiences, it seems like there's a real disconnect between what SSA is supposed to do (ask about marital history and check all records) and what actually happens in practice. The fact that Victoria from SSA confirmed you have to explicitly request the calculation comparison is both helpful and frustrating - why isn't this just standard procedure? I'm definitely saving this thread and will be very specific when I eventually apply. Hunter, it sounds like you're well-prepared now with all this advice - I hope your application goes smoothly in February!

This entire thread has been incredibly eye-opening! I'm 64 and was actually planning to file for my own benefits next year without even thinking about my ex-spouse's record. We were married for 12 years before divorcing in 2010, and I never remarried. Reading about people missing out on hundreds of dollars per month for YEARS because they didn't know to ask is honestly terrifying. Victoria's advice about the specific wording to use is gold - "calculate my benefits on both my own work record AND my ex-spouse's record to see which gives me the higher amount." I'm writing that down exactly! It's really disappointing that we have to be so proactive about something that should be standard practice, but I'm grateful everyone shared their experiences here. Hunter, you've probably saved yourself thousands of dollars by asking this question!

I'm so sorry for your loss, Donna. What you're going through is incredibly difficult, and it's completely understandable that all of this feels overwhelming right now. Your strategy is exactly right and is actually a common recommendation from Social Security experts. You can absolutely start collecting reduced widow's benefits at 60 and then switch to your own higher retirement benefit later - this won't reduce what you'll eventually receive from your own work record. Since you mentioned you're a nurse making around $85,000, I wanted to add one practical consideration: even though the earnings test will likely reduce or eliminate your widow's benefits while you're working full-time, it's still worth applying at 60. Here's why - any benefits that are "withheld" due to the earnings test aren't actually lost forever. Once you reach your full retirement age, Social Security recalculates your benefit and gives you credit for those withheld payments through higher monthly amounts. Also, your situation could change - you might decide to reduce your hours, take a lower-paying position, or circumstances might change in other ways that would make those widow's benefits valuable. The most important thing is to be very explicit when you apply that you want ONLY survivor benefits. Don't let them talk you into filing for both - you have the right to restrict your application. Take care of yourself during this difficult time. You're being smart to plan ahead, and this community is here to help you navigate the process.

I'm so sorry for your loss, Donna. Losing a spouse suddenly is one of life's most difficult challenges, and you're being incredibly strong by planning ahead during such a painful time. Your strategy is absolutely correct and is actually considered one of the smartest Social Security optimization approaches for widows. Yes, you can start collecting reduced widow's benefits at 60 and later switch to your own higher retirement benefit without any impact on what you'll receive from your own work record. A few key points to keep in mind: - Your widow's benefit at 60 will be about 71.5% of your husband's full benefit amount - When you switch to your own benefit later, you'll get the full amount based on your age at that time - The earnings test will likely reduce your widow's benefits while you're working, but those "lost" benefits get recalculated into higher payments once you reach full retirement age Given your nursing background, you probably have strong attention to detail - use that skill when dealing with SSA. Be very clear that you want ONLY survivor benefits when you apply, and document every interaction. One suggestion: consider whether waiting until 67 or even 70 to claim your own benefit might be worth it, since your retirement benefit grows about 8% per year past full retirement age until 70. You're asking all the right questions and thinking strategically. This community will be here to support you through the process. Take care of yourself.

my mom got widows benefits and they messed up her payments THREE TIMES!! had to keep calling and fixing it. make sure you check EVERY STATEMENT when you get benefits!!!

As a newcomer here, I just wanted to say how helpful this discussion has been! I'm in a similar situation with my spouse and had been agonizing over the timing decision. The math breakdown showing it would take 11+ years just to break even by waiting 7 months for that small $33 increase really puts it in perspective. One question though - when people mention "spousal benefit is 50% of FRA amount," does that mean 50% of what the higher earner would get at their full retirement age, or 50% of what they actually get when they claim at 70? I want to make sure I'm understanding this correctly for our own planning. Thanks to everyone who's shared their knowledge here!