I want to add something important that hasn't been mentioned yet - make sure to ask SSA about whether your state has any additional caregiver support programs that might complement your federal benefits. Some states have respite care programs or caregiver stipends that can help with expenses. Also, when you go to your appointment, bring a list of all your son's medications, therapies, and medical equipment needs. This helps demonstrate the level of care required and strengthens your case for mother's benefits. I learned this the hard way when they initially questioned how much care my disabled daughter actually needed. One more tip: if possible, try to get your appointment scheduled with a disability specialist rather than a general claims representative. They tend to be more knowledgeable about DAC and caregiver benefit rules. You can specifically request this when you call to schedule. You're doing an amazing job caring for your son while working part-time. Don't let anyone make you feel like you're asking for too much - these benefits exist for exactly your situation!

I'm a case worker who has helped families navigate these exact situations, and I want to emphasize a few crucial points that will help ensure your application goes smoothly: 1. **Timing is critical** - Apply for Mother's benefits in the month your daughter's benefits end, not before. SSA can't approve the application until you meet all eligibility requirements, which includes no longer having a child under 16 receiving benefits on the same record. 2. **Bring comprehensive documentation** - Along with medical records, bring a detailed letter from your son's doctor explaining his specific care needs and why he requires a full-time caregiver. This carries more weight than just listing his diagnosis. 3. **Know the exact terminology** - When you call or visit, specifically ask for "Mother's Benefits under Section 202(g) of the Social Security Act as the parent caring for a disabled adult child." Using the exact legal reference helps ensure you get connected to someone who understands these specialized benefits. 4. **Prepare for potential pushback** - Unfortunately, some SSA representatives aren't familiar with these benefits. If someone tells you they don't exist or you don't qualify, politely ask to speak with a supervisor or disability specialist. These benefits are absolutely real and you have every right to apply. Your situation is exactly what these benefits were designed for. Stay persistent and don't give up if you encounter initial resistance!

wait i'm confused about something - if you're making 65k why do you even care about survivor benefits? thats way more than most of us get from ss and work combined. just curious

Just wanted to chime in as someone who works in retirement planning - you're absolutely making the right call to wait until FRA. With your current income situation, the earnings test would essentially negate any benefit from claiming early anyway, so you'd be taking a permanent reduction for no real gain. One thing I'd add that others haven't mentioned: when you do switch to your own retirement benefit at 70, make sure you understand that your survivor benefit stops at that point. You can't collect both simultaneously. But given that your own benefit will be higher (especially with the delayed retirement credits), that's still the optimal strategy. Also, keep excellent records of your application dates and any SSA communications. The transition from survivor benefits to retirement benefits can sometimes get messy administratively, and having documentation helps resolve any issues quickly. Your overall strategy sounds very solid - maximize the survivor benefit by waiting for FRA, then maximize your own retirement benefit by waiting until 70. That's textbook optimal planning for someone in your situation.

I'm going through a very similar situation with my 8-year-old daughter who has severe autism and intellectual disability. We were initially worried about our income disqualifying her, but we got approved after appeal! Here's what helped us: The SSA worker explained that they use a "parental allocation" formula - they don't just look at your total income. They subtract amounts for basic living expenses for you, your spouse, and any other children before determining what counts against your disabled child's eligibility. For the medical side, make sure your son's evaluations use specific language about his "marked" or "extreme" limitations in areas like social functioning, communication, and activities of daily living. The SSA has very specific criteria they're looking for in autism cases. Also, start tracking EVERYTHING autism-related financially - copays, gas to appointments, special foods if he has dietary restrictions, weighted blankets, sensory equipment, respite care, etc. These can sometimes be deducted as disability-related expenses. The whole process took us about 8 months with the appeal, but the monthly payment plus automatic Medicaid coverage has been life-changing for accessing services. Don't give up if you get that first denial letter - most autism cases I know of got approved on appeal with better documentation.

I want to add something that hasn't been mentioned yet - timing can be really important with SSI applications for children with autism. If your son is approaching age 18, the eligibility criteria completely changes and they'll evaluate him as an adult rather than using the childhood disability rules. Adult evaluations are often harder to qualify for since they focus more on work capacity rather than developmental milestones. Also, I'd strongly recommend applying even if you're unsure about income eligibility. The worst they can say is no, but if you don't apply, you'll never know if those deeming rules would have worked in your favor. Plus, if your family's financial situation changes in the future (job loss, medical expenses increase, etc.), having an established case file can make reapplying much faster. One practical tip: when you call SSA or visit the office, bring a detailed list of questions written down beforehand. The workers deal with so many cases that having specific questions about deeming calculations, medical documentation requirements, and timeline expectations will help you get clearer answers. Good luck with your application process!

I want to thank everyone for the incredibly helpful advice. I've gathered all our documents (birth certificates, marriage certificate, my wife's medical records) and plan to start my application online tomorrow using Chrome as suggested. I'll clearly note my wife's terminal condition in the remarks section and hope it gets flagged for the TERI program. After I get my application submitted, I'll help my wife apply for her benefits and clearly indicate she's applying for both her retirement and spousal benefits. Based on the calculations shared, she should receive around $1,350 total between the two, which will really help with our expenses. I'm also going to check out that Claimyr service since it sounds like I'll need to speak with SSA at some point about the spousal benefits. Being able to avoid long wait times would be a huge relief given my caregiving responsibilities. You've all been so supportive and informative - it's made a stressful situation much more manageable. I'll update on how things go after we submit our applications.

I'm so sorry to hear about your wife's diagnosis. As someone who works with seniors navigating Social Security, I wanted to add a few practical tips that might help: First, when you submit your online application, save a copy of everything before hitting submit. The system can be glitchy and you don't want to lose your work. Also, after submission, you'll get a receipt number - keep that handy as it helps SSA locate your case quickly. For your wife's application, consider doing it as soon as possible after yours is processed. There's no advantage to waiting, and given her condition, getting benefits started sooner rather than later is important. One thing I haven't seen mentioned - if you're caring for her full-time and she qualifies for disability benefits due to her terminal illness, that could potentially change the benefit calculation. Terminal cancer often qualifies for expedited disability processing under their Compassionate Allowances program, which could provide higher monthly payments than regular retirement benefits. You might want to ask about this when you speak with SSA. The disability route could be worth exploring alongside the retirement/spousal benefits path. Sending you both strength during this challenging time.

To summarize what's been discussed and add a bit more clarity: 1. The earliest your husband could receive spousal benefits is age 62, with a reduction (approximately 30-35% less than at his FRA). 2. If he significantly reduces his work or stops completely at 57, this could affect his own future benefit calculation since SSA uses the highest 35 years of earnings. Low-earning or zero years could reduce his personal benefit. 3. The spousal benefit would be up to 50% of your Primary Insurance Amount (your benefit at your FRA), but is reduced if claimed before his FRA. 4. He will always receive the higher of either his own benefit or the spousal benefit, not both. 5. For survivor benefits, he could claim as early as age 60 if you predeceased him, with a reduction. At his FRA, he would receive 100% of your benefit. 6. If your husband is considering reducing work significantly at 57, you might want to evaluate other retirement income sources to bridge the gap until he can claim Social Security benefits.

One thing to keep in mind is that when you switch from survivor benefits to your own retirement benefits at 70, make sure you understand how this affects the spousal benefit calculation for your husband. The spousal benefit will be based on YOUR Primary Insurance Amount (what you'd get at your FRA), not the higher amount you'll receive by waiting until 70. So even though you're maximizing your own benefit by waiting, your husband's potential spousal benefit won't increase beyond that 50% of your PIA. Also, since you mentioned you both had comparable earnings, definitely run the numbers on his own projected benefit vs. the spousal benefit before making any decisions about him reducing work at 57.