I'm really glad to see so many helpful responses here! As someone who works in benefits advocacy, I want to add a few practical tips for your SSDI application process. First, request a copy of your husband's complete Social Security earnings record (Form SSA-7050) - this will help verify his work history for the disability application. Second, when gathering medical records, don't forget to include any records from his primary care doctor who may have noted symptoms or concerns before the official diagnosis. Sometimes there are earlier indicators that can help establish the disability onset date. Third, consider asking his oncologist to provide a detailed RFC (Residual Functional Capacity) assessment specifically describing how the cancer and treatment will limit his ability to work. This carries significant weight in SSDI determinations. The fact that you've already started the application is great - time is important with the 12-month filing deadline. Sending positive thoughts to you and your husband during this challenging time.

I'm so sorry about your husband's diagnosis, Jessica. As a newcomer to this community, I've been reading through all the responses and I'm amazed at how helpful everyone has been. My own father went through something similar - he had taken early retirement at 62 due to a plant closure, then was diagnosed with lung cancer at 64. The DIBRRB process that everyone is mentioning really was a lifesaver for our family. His monthly payment went from around $1,600 to $2,100, and the retroactive payments helped tremendously with the initial treatment costs. One thing I'd add that I haven't seen mentioned yet - make sure to ask SSA about continuing his Medicare Part A and B during the disability determination process. Sometimes there can be coverage gaps if you're not careful about the transition. Also, many cancer centers have financial counselors who are familiar with Social Security disability processes and can help coordinate with his medical team. Wishing you and your husband strength during this difficult journey.

As someone new to navigating Social Security benefits, I really appreciate all the detailed advice here! Reading through everyone's experiences, it sounds like the telephone appointment can work well if I'm properly prepared. I'm going to create that comprehensive document Isabella suggested with all my questions prioritized, and I'll definitely ask about the deemed filing rules, GPO implications for my teaching pension, and get specific benefit calculations for different claiming ages. One quick question - should I also ask them to mail me a written summary of our discussion, or is that something I need to request separately after the call?

From my experience helping family members through similar situations, telephone appointments can definitely handle complex survivor benefit cases, but preparation is absolutely key. One thing I'd add to all the great advice here is to specifically ask the representative to walk you through the "break-even" analysis - at what age does waiting to claim become more beneficial than claiming early, given your specific benefit amounts. Also, since you mentioned you're considering taking your own retirement at 62, make sure to ask about the interaction between survivor benefits and your own retirement benefits - there are some strategies where you might claim one type first and switch to the other later that could maximize your lifetime benefits. The reps are generally very good at running these calculations during the call if you ask specifically. And definitely take notes during the call or have someone with you to help - there's a lot of information to absorb!

Just want to add one more thing that helped me when I was in a similar situation - keep really good records of your consulting income throughout the year. I use a simple spreadsheet to track when I do work, when I get paid, and what my running total is. This makes it super easy to update SSA if needed and also helps at tax time. Since you're doing consulting work, you'll probably want to make quarterly estimated tax payments anyway, so having that running tally is really useful for planning purposes.

Another thing to consider - if your consulting income varies month to month, you might want to look into the monthly earnings test for your first year of benefits. In the year you start collecting Social Security, SSA can apply either the annual limit OR a monthly limit (which is the annual limit divided by 12, so about $1,858 per month for 2025). They'll use whichever method is more favorable to you. This can be really helpful if you have some high-earning months and some low-earning months, especially if you start benefits mid-year. Just make sure to keep track of your monthly earnings separately in case you need to reference this option.

As someone who recently went through this exact process successfully, I wanted to share what ultimately made the difference for us. The key was understanding that SSA distinguishes between "assistance" and "parental care and supervision" - they need to see that your wife is functioning in a true parental role, not just providing help. What worked for us was getting our son's neurologist to write a letter that specifically stated: "Due to his cognitive disabilities, [son's name] requires the same level of parental supervision and care that would typically be provided to a minor child, including daily oversight of medication compliance, safety monitoring, and decision-making support." We also created a "Parental Responsibilities" document that outlined how my wife manages his medical care, coordinates services, makes healthcare decisions, provides daily structure, and ensures his safety - basically showing she's acting as his parent despite his adult age. The reconsideration process can take 3-4 months, but with proper documentation focusing on the "parental control and responsibility" angle rather than just caregiving, you should have a strong case. The fact that he's receiving benefits on your record definitely supports your position - the denial seems to be a documentation issue rather than an eligibility problem.

I'm going through something very similar right now and this thread has been incredibly enlightening! My disabled adult son (23, disabled since childhood) started receiving DAC benefits on my husband's record when he retired last year. I'm 60 and was considering applying for child-in-care benefits, but after reading all these experiences, I realize I need to be much more strategic about documentation. One thing I haven't seen mentioned yet - has anyone dealt with the situation where the disabled adult child has a representative payee? My son has me as his rep payee for his benefits, and I'm wondering if that helps establish the "parental control and responsibility" that SSA is looking for, or if it's irrelevant to the child-in-care determination. Also, for those who were successful, did you find that having the disabled adult child's consent/participation in the application process mattered? My son has limited cognitive ability but can understand basic concepts - should we involve him in documenting that he needs and receives parental-level care? Douglas, I really hope your reconsideration goes smoothly with all the great advice you've gotten here. It's clear you have a strong case once you get the documentation sorted out!