I'm so sorry you're dealing with this nightmare! As someone who has navigated similar SSA bureaucratic messes, I wanted to share a few things that might help: First, DEFINITELY file that SSA-632 waiver form that others mentioned - you have a strong case since this was clearly their system error, not anything you did wrong. Second, I'd suggest keeping a detailed log of every interaction you have with SSA going forward. Write down dates, times, who you spoke with, and exactly what was said. This documentation becomes crucial if you need to escalate or appeal. Also, consider reaching out to your local congressperson's office. They often have staff who specialize in helping constituents with federal agency issues like this. Sometimes a call from a congressional office can get things moving faster than months of individual effort. The fact that they're acknowledging he qualifies for adult disabled child benefits AND that they owe him back payments suggests they know they messed up. Don't let them intimidate you into just accepting this overpayment - you have rights and options here. Stay strong - this kind of bureaucratic mess is frustrating beyond words, but it IS fixable with persistence!

This situation sounds incredibly stressful, and I'm sorry you're dealing with SSA's bureaucratic mess! As a newcomer here, I wanted to add that you should also ask about requesting an "Administrative Review" of the overpayment determination itself - this is separate from the waiver request and challenges whether the overpayment calculation is even correct in the first place. Given that they're saying this goes back to 2018 but your son only turned 18 in 2021, there's clearly something wrong with their timeline. An administrative review can force them to show their work on how they calculated these amounts. Also, while you're gathering documentation, try to get copies of ALL benefit award letters and payment records for your son from 2018 forward. Sometimes SSA's notices reference the wrong time periods or mix up different types of benefits. Having your own paper trail will help you challenge any errors. The good news is that multiple people here have dealt with similar situations and gotten them resolved - you're definitely not alone in this fight!

my neighbor said if you work over the limit they just take it back later not right away

I'm in a similar situation - turning 62 soon and trying to figure out the best strategy. One thing I learned from my research is that you should also consider the tax implications. If you're working and collecting SS, your benefits might become taxable depending on your "combined income" (adjusted gross income + nontaxable interest + half of SS benefits). For single filers, if combined income is over $25,000, up to 50% of benefits are taxable. Over $34,000 and up to 85% can be taxable. This could affect your overall financial picture even if you stay under the earnings limit.

Great job helping your sister navigate this complex situation! Just wanted to add one more important detail - make sure she asks specifically about the "child-in-care" provision when she goes to her appointment. Sometimes SSA representatives aren't immediately familiar with this rule and might initially tell her she'll get reduced benefits at 62. If she gets pushback, she can reference POMS RS 00615.201 which covers divorced spouse benefits with child in care. Also, bring a copy of the child's current benefit award letter showing he's receiving benefits on his father's record - this helps establish the connection quickly. Good luck with the appointment!

This is incredibly helpful information for anyone dealing with divorced spouse benefits! I'm actually in a similar situation but my ex hasn't filed for his benefits yet and I'm 59. From reading these comments, it sounds like I need to wait until either he files OR I reach 62 AND we've been divorced for at least 2 years to potentially qualify under the independent entitlement rule. My disabled son is 14 and gets benefits on his father's record already. Does anyone know if there are any other requirements I should be aware of for when I do become eligible? The marriage duration requirement, etc.? I want to make sure I have all my ducks in a row when the time comes.

One thing nobody mentioned - if you're still working, the earnings limit might affect your benefits until you reach full retirement age. For 2025, if you're under FRA the entire year, you lose $1 in benefits for every $2 you earn above $22,900 (approximately). Something to factor into your decision if you're still employed.

This is such a helpful thread! As someone who will likely face this decision in a few years, I'm taking notes on all the strategies mentioned here. The fact that you were able to get through to SSA using Claimyr in just 15 minutes is amazing - I've bookmarked that service for when I need it. One question for the group: does anyone know if there are any good resources (books, websites, etc.) that explain all these widow/widower benefit strategies in plain English? The SSA publications are so technical and confusing. It seems like there are a lot of nuances that aren't well publicized.

This is such an important topic to plan ahead for. I went through something similar with my husband a few years ago. One thing I'd add that hasn't been mentioned much is the importance of understanding how survivor benefits work if your wife has her own Social Security record too. Since she's currently working and contributing to Social Security, she'll have her own benefit calculation when she reaches retirement age. The strategy many widows use is called "restrict and switch" - she could potentially claim the survivor benefit first (either at 60 with reduction or later at full amount), then switch to her own retirement benefit at 70 if it would be higher due to delayed retirement credits. Also, regarding that gap period before she turns 60 - I'd strongly recommend looking into increasing any life insurance you have specifically to cover those missing months of income. When my husband passed, I was 57 and that 3-year gap was financially devastating even though we thought we were prepared. The combination of funeral expenses, reduced household income, and having to wait for any Social Security help was overwhelming. One last tip: have her start tracking all of her work earnings and Social Security statements now. When the time comes to apply, having organized records of both your earnings histories will make the process much smoother.

I'm so glad you're thinking ahead about this - it shows how much you care about your wife's financial security. From reading everyone's experiences here, it's clear that the gap period between your passing and when she turns 60 is really the biggest challenge to prepare for. One thing I'd suggest is also looking into whether your wife might qualify for any pension survivor benefits through your work history, if you have any. Sometimes people focus so much on Social Security that they forget about other potential sources of survivor income. Also, since she's still working and building her own Social Security record, you might want to run some calculations to see what her own benefit would be at different claiming ages versus the survivor benefit. The my Social Security website has calculators that can help with this. Sometimes the math works out better to claim her own reduced benefit at 62 and then switch to survivor benefits later, depending on the amounts involved. The document preparation advice everyone's given is spot on. I'd also add that you should make sure she knows where all your important financial accounts are located and has access to them. When grief hits, even simple tasks become overwhelming, so having everything clearly organized and accessible will be a huge help.