I'm new here but this entire discussion has been incredibly valuable for someone in my exact situation! My husband and I separated about 4 years ago (he's in Oregon, I'm in Virginia) but we're still legally married. We're both 54, so we're right in that retirement planning phase that several of you have mentioned. What's been most eye-opening for me is realizing how many couples are in similar arrangements - I honestly thought we were unusual! Reading through everyone's experiences, especially the real-world examples of parents who successfully received survivor benefits after years of living apart, has really put my mind at ease. I'm definitely going to follow the advice about getting written confirmation from my local SSA office and organizing all our important documents. The point about making sure our adult children know where everything is stored is particularly important since we're living across the country from each other. One thing I'm curious about that I haven't seen addressed: since my husband and I have been separated for several years with minimal contact, should we be periodically checking in with each other about major life changes (like address changes, health issues, job changes) that might affect our eventual Social Security planning? Or is it really just a matter of each person managing their own SSA records independently until benefits are actually needed? Thanks to everyone for sharing such helpful information and experiences. This community has answered questions I didn't even know I should be asking!

I'm new to this community but found this discussion at exactly the right time! My wife and I have been living separately for about 18 months now (I'm in Ohio, she's in Pennsylvania) but we remain legally married. We're both 50, so we're just starting to think about long-term retirement planning. Reading through all these responses has been incredibly reassuring - I had no idea how common separated-but-married arrangements actually are! I was particularly worried because we made the decision to live apart fairly recently, and I wasn't sure if there might be some "waiting period" or minimum time requirement that could affect our eligibility for survivor benefits. It's such a relief to learn that the length of separation doesn't matter at all - whether it's 18 months like us or 10+ years like some others have shared, the SSA only cares about legal marital status. The fact that we've been married since 1998 (so 25+ years by the time we reach retirement age) seems to put us in a very solid position. I'm definitely going to follow the excellent advice here about getting written confirmation from my local SSA office and organizing our important documents. The suggestion about making sure our adult kids know where everything is stored is particularly relevant since we're now maintaining separate households. Thanks to everyone for sharing such detailed experiences and practical advice. This thread has answered questions I didn't even know I needed to ask!

Reading through all these experiences has been both enlightening and frustrating! I'm dealing with similar Medicare Part B billing confusion - getting charges for $88, $267, and $503 with zero clear explanation. What really helped me understand my situation was calling the Medicare helpline and specifically asking them to explain each charge separately rather than giving me a general overview. It turned out that: • The $88 was my regular monthly premium • The $267 was a retroactive IRMAA adjustment (they had outdated income info) • The $503 was advance quarterly billing for the next period The key breakthrough was when I asked the rep to send me a detailed "Premium History Report" via mail. This document broke down every single charge by month and category. I had no idea this report even existed, but it's apparently available upon request and shows exactly what you're being charged for and when. Also, I discovered that you can dispute IRMAA adjustments if your income has changed since the tax year they're using (they base it on info from 2 years ago). There's a form called SSA-44 that lets you request a recalculation based on life changes like retirement or reduced work hours. The whole system is unnecessarily complex, but having that detailed breakdown made everything finally click. Hope this helps others who are drowning in confusing Medicare bills! 📋✨

This thread has been absolutely incredible! As someone who's been completely lost trying to understand my Medicare Part B bills ($96, $312, and $589), reading everyone's experiences has been both reassuring and eye-opening. The collective knowledge shared here is amazing - I'm saving all the tips about calling Tuesday mornings, creating spreadsheets to track charges, asking for reference numbers and account notes, requesting that "Premium History Report" that Eleanor mentioned, and knowing about form SSA-44 for IRMAA disputes. What really stands out to me is how we've all had to become Medicare billing experts just to understand our own healthcare costs. The fact that there are logical explanations for these charges (retroactive adjustments, advance quarterly billing, IRMAA calculations) but they're not clearly communicated to us is so frustrating. I'm planning to call next week armed with all these strategies. It's both comforting and maddening to know this billing confusion is basically universal - at least we're not alone in feeling overwhelmed by this system! Thanks to everyone for turning what felt like an impossible puzzle into actionable advice. This community support has been invaluable! 🙏💪

I'm deeply sorry for your loss, Tami. Going through this process while grieving is incredibly difficult. Based on everything discussed here, I wanted to add one more consideration that might help with your decision-making. Since you're 58 and dealing with health issues, you might also want to think about whether you have enough work credits for your own Social Security retirement benefit. If you do, and if your own benefit amount would eventually be higher than the survivor benefit, you could potentially use a "claim and switch" strategy even with the disability route. For example, if you qualify for disabled widow benefits now (unreduced), you could receive those immediately. Then, if your own retirement benefit would be higher, you could potentially switch to your own benefit at your full retirement age or even delay until age 70 for maximum delayed retirement credits. The SSA representative should be able to help you compare all these scenarios - your current survivor benefit options, disabled widow benefits, and your own future retirement benefit. Having all these numbers will help you make the most informed decision for your long-term financial security. Also, definitely document everything from your doctor visits and keep copies of all your applications. This process can take time, but you're asking all the right questions and getting excellent advice here. Wishing you strength through this journey.

I'm so sorry for your loss, Tami. Reading through all these responses, it's clear you're getting excellent advice from people who've been through similar situations. One additional thing that might be helpful - if you do decide to pursue the disability route, consider reaching out to a disability attorney or advocate who works on contingency (they only get paid if you win). They can help navigate the application process and ensure you're presenting your case in the strongest possible way. Many people don't realize that having professional help can significantly improve approval odds, especially for cases involving multiple health conditions plus grief-related impacts. Also, while you're gathering medical documentation, ask each of your healthcare providers for a detailed statement about how your conditions affect your daily functioning and work capacity. Sometimes doctors focus on treatment rather than limitations in their notes, but SSA really needs to see the functional impact clearly documented. The fact that you're being so thoughtful about this decision and asking the right questions suggests you're on the right track. Take care of yourself during this difficult time, and don't hesitate to ask for help - whether from professionals, family, or this supportive community.

Wait I'm confused now...is WEP the same as the Government Pension Offset (GPO)? Cuz my uncle lost his WHOLE spousal benefit from my aunt's record because of his pension...

I just went through a similar situation with my state pension and WEP! One thing that really helped me was creating a spreadsheet with all my Social Security earnings by year and comparing them to the substantial earnings thresholds for each year. You can find the historical substantial earnings amounts on the SSA website. With your 42 quarters and roughly 7-8 years of substantial earnings, you'll likely face some WEP reduction, but the new reform should make it more proportional to your actual contributions. The old formula was much harsher for people with mixed public/private careers like ours. I'd strongly recommend getting that in-person appointment at SSA - bring printouts of your complete earnings record and be prepared to wait, but it's worth it to get the exact calculation. They can run both the old and new WEP formulas to show you the difference. In my case, the new formula saved me about $180/month compared to what I would have lost under the old rules. Also, make sure to ask about how the transition period works if you're planning to retire soon - there are different implementation timelines depending on when you claim benefits.

I wanted to share my experience since I went through this exact decision with my spouse last year. We ultimately decided to have my wife wait until her FRA, and I'm glad we did after reading all these responses about the permanent reductions. What really helped us was creating a simple spreadsheet comparing the total benefits over different time periods - 10 years, 15 years, 20 years, etc. We used the actual benefit amounts from our SSA statements rather than estimates. The breakeven point was around age 79 for us, but more importantly, we realized that the survivor benefit implications were huge. Since the surviving spouse gets the higher of the two benefits, maximizing that higher benefit made sense for our situation. One thing I'd add to all the great advice here - don't forget about the annual COLA (cost of living adjustments). These apply to your base benefit amount, so if you start with a permanently reduced benefit, you're getting smaller COLA increases for life too. That compounds the impact of taking benefits early. Also, if your wife is considering part-time work, remember that the earnings limit for 2024 is $22,320 if she's under FRA. Above that, they reduce benefits by $1 for every $2 earned over the limit. But as others mentioned, this penalty goes away completely at FRA. Good luck with your decision - it sounds like you're doing your homework, which is more than most people do!

I've been a Social Security claims specialist for over 15 years and wanted to clarify a few points that seem to be causing confusion in this thread. First, the "deemed filing" rule mentioned by @Haley Bennett is absolutely correct and crucial to understand. When your wife files at 62, she's deemed to be filing for all benefits available to her at that time. When spousal benefits become available later (when you file), the reduction percentage is calculated as if she filed for spousal benefits at the same time she filed for her own benefit. Second, regarding the PIA calculations - several commenters have this right. The spousal benefit eligibility is determined by comparing her unreduced PIA to 50% of your unreduced PIA. If her PIA is $1,800 and yours is $3,100, then 50% of yours is $1,550. Since $1,800 > $1,550, she would receive NO spousal benefit regardless of filing timing. However, I'd strongly recommend double-checking her Social Security statement because many people misread the projected amounts. Make sure you're looking at her PIA (the amount at her full retirement age) not her reduced age 62 amount. Finally, given the complexity and the permanent nature of this decision, consider requesting a benefit estimate directly from SSA for your specific scenario. They can provide exact calculations based on both your earnings records. The phone wait times are frustrating, but this decision affects decades of income - it's worth the effort to get precise numbers.