This thread has been incredibly informative! As someone who's going through a similar situation (my ex moved to Japan), I'm grateful for all the practical advice shared here. I wanted to add one more resource that helped me: the American Citizens Services (ACS) unit at US embassies abroad often maintains informal networks with local hospitals and morgues that serve expat communities. While it's not an official notification system, these relationships sometimes result in quicker reporting of American deaths. I also discovered that many expats abroad maintain US-based emergency contacts through their banks, insurance companies, or even online services like ICE (In Case of Emergency) apps. If your ex is the type to be organized about these things, there might be multiple potential notification pathways you're not even aware of. The key seems to be casting a wide net of preparation rather than relying on any single system. I'm going to follow everyone's advice here and start building my own documentation folder and contact list. It's a bit sobering to plan for these scenarios, but so much better than being caught unprepared later.

This is such a comprehensive thread with excellent advice! I work in international law and deal with cross-border estate issues regularly. Your situation highlights a real systemic problem that affects thousands of divorced Americans whose ex-spouses live abroad. One additional angle worth considering: if your ex-husband has any ongoing US tax obligations (which most US citizens abroad do), the IRS sometimes becomes aware of deaths through incomplete filings or estate tax matters. The IRS shares certain death information with SSA, though this pathway can take months or even years to trigger. I'd also suggest documenting his approximate location in Thailand if you know it. Different regions have varying relationships with US consular services. Bangkok and major tourist areas tend to have better reporting protocols than rural areas. Finally, consider reaching out to an elder law attorney who specializes in Social Security benefits. They can help you formally document your potential claim now and may have insights into the appeals process if you ever face delays in benefit approval due to documentation issues. Many offer free consultations for planning purposes. The fact that you're thinking about this now, while there's no immediate urgency, puts you way ahead of most people who face this situation. Well done on being so proactive!

My husband and me were just talking about this! Do you guys have a financial advisor who specializes in SS? Our regular investment guy doesnt really know all these complicated rules. Makes a big difference to get the right advice!

I'm new to this community but dealing with a similar situation with my parents. One thing I learned from researching this is that you might want to consider the "break-even" analysis - comparing the total benefits you'd receive by claiming at FRA vs waiting until 70. If you're in good health and have longevity in your family, waiting until 70 usually makes sense not just for the higher monthly benefit, but especially for maximizing your wife's potential survivor benefit. The crossover point is typically around age 82-83 where the delayed claiming strategy starts paying off in total lifetime benefits. But since your wife would get that higher survivor benefit for potentially decades, it's often worth the wait even if you don't personally reach that break-even age.

As someone who works in retirement planning, I want to emphasize a few key points that haven't been fully covered yet: 1. **Timing matters for maximizing benefits**: If your husband is still working or has other income, he might benefit from delaying his Social Security until age 70 to get delayed retirement credits (8% per year). This would increase the survivor benefit you'd eventually receive. 2. **Consider your filing strategy now**: Since you're both already receiving benefits, this ship has sailed, but for others reading - sometimes it makes sense for the higher earner to delay benefits to maximize the eventual survivor benefit. 3. **Medicare implications**: When you become a widow, you'll need to evaluate your Medicare coverage. If you're on your husband's employer plan as a retiree, you may lose that coverage and need to make decisions about Medicare supplements. 4. **Document everything**: Keep copies of your marriage certificate, both of your Social Security cards, and any military service records if applicable. Having these ready will make the process smoother when the time comes. The survivor benefit is really one of Social Security's most important protections for older Americans - it helps ensure the surviving spouse doesn't face financial hardship on top of grief.

I'm in a similar situation and this thread has been incredibly eye-opening! My husband and I are 71 and 68, and I honestly had no idea about most of these details. A few things I'm taking away: 1. Report the death IMMEDIATELY to avoid overpayment issues 2. You have to actually APPLY for survivor benefits - they don't automatically switch you 3. Keep all important documents organized and ready 4. Expect long wait times when calling SSA (that Claimyr service sounds like a lifesaver) One question I haven't seen addressed - if the surviving spouse remarries, does that affect the survivor benefits? I'm happily married and not planning anything, but I'm curious about the rules since I have a widowed friend who's been hesitant to remarry partly because of benefit concerns. Also, thank you to everyone who shared their personal experiences. It really helps to hear real stories rather than just the official policy explanations.

I'm new to this community and just wanted to thank everyone for sharing such detailed experiences! My wife and I are approaching this exact situation - I'm planning to start collecting my Social Security benefits in the next few months and we'll need to navigate the spousal benefits process for her since she doesn't have enough work credits on her own record. Reading through this thread has been incredibly eye-opening and honestly quite frustrating to learn how poorly designed the SSA system is for spousal benefit applications. It's shocking that they would tell someone to apply online knowing it will be rejected, then send a confusing rejection letter without clearly explaining the next steps! The practical advice everyone has shared is invaluable, especially about calling the local office and using the specific terminology "auxiliary benefits as a spouse" rather than going through the appeal process. I'm definitely taking notes on having all the right documents ready - marriage certificate, Social Security cards, and benefit award letter. Carmen, I really hope your call to the local office goes smoothly and you get everything sorted out with retroactive benefits! Your experience is helping so many of us understand what to expect from this confusing process. Thank you for creating such an informative discussion that's clearly helping numerous couples navigate this bureaucratic maze.

I'm new to this community and currently dealing with the exact same situation! My husband started collecting his Social Security benefits two months ago, and we just received our rejection letter for my spousal benefits application yesterday. Reading through this entire thread has been such a huge relief - I was really worried we had made some kind of mistake in the application process. It's absolutely ridiculous that the SSA representative would tell someone to apply online knowing it would be rejected, then send such a confusing rejection letter without clearly explaining what the next steps should be. The detailed advice everyone has shared here is incredibly valuable, especially about using the specific terminology "auxiliary benefits as a spouse" when calling the local office. I'm planning to call tomorrow morning with our marriage certificate, both Social Security cards, and my husband's benefit award letter ready to go. Carmen, I really hope your call goes smoothly! Thank you for posting about this experience - you've helped so many of us realize that this rejection letter confusion is actually just a normal (though frustrating) part of their broken system. This community has been such a lifesaver for navigating these complicated government processes!

One thing I haven't seen mentioned here is the importance of understanding how SSA treats distributions vs. salary for S-corps. While everyone is correct that only your W-2 wages count toward the earnings test, you still need to be careful about taking "unreasonably low" salary compared to distributions - the IRS has guidelines about reasonable compensation for S-corp owners. Also, regarding the suspension/restart process - I found it helpful to request written confirmation whenever I made changes to my benefits. SSA phone representatives sometimes give different information, so having documentation of what was agreed upon saved me headaches later. You can also make some of these requests through your my Social Security account online, which creates an automatic paper trail. Your plan sounds solid, Ava! Just make sure when you do restart benefits after any suspension that you double-check your first payment reflects the correct amount. I've heard of cases where the restart didn't process correctly and people had to follow up multiple times.

Just wanted to add another perspective on the S-corp earnings test situation. I've been collecting SS benefits with my S-corp for 3 years now, and one thing that caught me off guard was how SSA handles estimated quarterly payments. Even though only your W-2 wages count toward the earnings test, if you're making quarterly estimated tax payments on significant business income, they sometimes flag your account for review. I learned to keep a simple one-page summary ready that shows: 1) My annual W-2 wages from the S-corp, 2) My quarterly salary payments, and 3) A note explaining that business profits are distributions, not wages subject to FICA. This has saved me time during their random compliance checks. Also, regarding your 2026 strategy - consider that if you do need to suspend benefits early in the year, you might want to time it so that you can restart before April when you hit FRA. That way you don't miss out on those final months of benefits before the earnings test disappears completely. The restart process usually takes 3-4 weeks, so plan accordingly if you think you might need to do this.