UPDATE: I finally got through to an SSA Technical Expert this morning! Used the Claimyr service that was suggested here and it worked great - I was connected to an agent in about 25 minutes. Once I specifically asked for a Technical Expert who handles disabled adult child cases and mentioned Section 202(b)(1)(B), they transferred me to someone who knew exactly what I was talking about. She confirmed I'm eligible for the CIC benefits and scheduled me for an in-person appointment next week to complete the application. She said to bring: - My ID and Social Security card - Marriage certificate - Documentation of my caregiving (doctor's letter) - My son's medical records (though she said they likely already have them) Thank you all for your help! I'll update again after my appointment.

That's fantastic news! So glad the Claimyr service worked for you and you finally got connected to someone who understood CIC benefits. It's amazing how much of a difference it makes when you reach the right person who actually knows the rules. Your list of documents looks perfect - sounds like the Technical Expert really knew what she was talking about. The fact that she scheduled you for an in-person appointment is also a great sign since those tend to go much smoother for complex cases like yours. Thanks for sharing the update! This whole thread will be really helpful for other parents dealing with similar situations. Looking forward to hearing how your appointment goes next week. Fingers crossed everything gets processed smoothly from here!

I'm going to make an appointment tomorrow to apply formally. You're right that I need to get an official determination rather than just going by what someone told me on the phone. Thank you for the encouragement.

I'm so sorry for your loss and everything you're going through right now. The combination of grief and navigating these complex benefit rules is overwhelming. Based on what you've shared, I'd strongly recommend bringing a few key documents to your SSA appointment: your husband's death certificate, your marriage certificate, and any records of his police pension amount. Since he worked 12-15 years paying into Social Security before joining the police force, there's a real possibility he earned enough credits for you to receive some survivor benefits, even with the GPO reduction. The fact that you're getting conflicting information over the phone is unfortunately common - getting an in-person appointment for an official determination is definitely the right approach. Also, please don't give up on that $255 death benefit - as his current spouse living with him at the time of death, you should be entitled to it regardless of his ex-wife's status. Take care of yourself during this difficult time.

I'm really sorry for your loss, and I can see how overwhelming this whole process must be. The community has given you excellent advice here - you're definitely on the right track focusing on survivor benefits for your grandson rather than CIC benefits. One thing I wanted to add that might help you prepare for your call tomorrow: when you speak with SSA, be very clear that you're applying for SURVIVOR BENEFITS for a minor child whose parent is deceased, and that you are the child's legal guardian. Sometimes using the exact terminology helps get you transferred to the right department faster. Also, if the first representative seems confused or gives you conflicting information, don't hesitate to politely end the call and try again with someone else. Unfortunately, not all SSA reps are equally knowledgeable about all benefit types, and you want to make sure you're getting accurate information given the time-sensitive nature of the retroactive payments. Keep us updated on how it goes - this community is really helpful for navigating these complicated situations, and your experience might help other grandparents in similar circumstances!

I'm so sorry for the loss of your daughter and can completely understand how frustrating the SSA phone system can be when you're already dealing with so much. Everyone here has given you excellent guidance - CIC benefits definitely don't apply to your situation since those are specifically for spouses. What you really need to focus on is getting those survivor benefits for your grandson started ASAP. One small tip that might help when you call: if you're getting disconnected frequently, try calling right when they open (8 AM local time) or during lunch hours when call volume might be slightly lower. Also, once you get connected, ask the representative for a direct callback number in case you get disconnected - sometimes they can provide one. The fact that you're his legal guardian puts you in a good position to handle this application. Just make sure you emphasize that this is for CHILD SURVIVOR BENEFITS and that there's urgency due to the retroactive payment limits. You've got all the right information now thanks to this community - you're going to get through this! Please do update us on how it goes. Sending you and your grandson my best wishes during this difficult time.

I'm a newcomer here but have been dealing with similar Social Security questions for my disabled brother. One thing I learned that might help is to also check if your daughter qualifies for any state disability services that could provide respite care or day programs. This could potentially allow you to work longer and build up your own Social Security earnings record, which might end up being more valuable than divorced spousal benefits. Also, since you mentioned planning ahead for potential remarriage, you might want to consult with a Social Security advisor or elder law attorney who can run scenarios based on your specific earnings history and your ex-husband's benefit amount. They can help you understand the exact timing and financial implications of different choices. The rules around divorced spousal benefits, surviving divorced spouse benefits, and remarriage timing are complex enough that professional guidance could save you from making costly mistakes.

I'm new to this community but facing a very similar situation with my disabled adult son. One thing I discovered that might be helpful is to also look into whether your daughter might be eligible for ABLE accounts (Achieving a Better Life Experience). These special savings accounts allow people with disabilities to save money without affecting their SSI or Medicaid eligibility, and family members can contribute up to $17,000 annually (as of 2023). While this doesn't directly address your caregiver situation, it could help with long-term financial planning for your daughter's care. Also, since you mentioned you're 63 and still working, you might want to consider that if you can delay your own Social Security until age 70, your benefit could be significantly higher than divorced spousal benefits - but definitely run the numbers first! The National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys (NAELA) has a directory where you can find attorneys who specialize in Social Security and disability planning if you want professional guidance on timing these decisions.

After reading all the responses, I want to clarify one more important thing: Your daughter's benefits as a Disabled Adult Child (DAC) on your husband's record won't be affected by your work activity or earnings. Her benefits are completely separate from yours. The only thing that would affect her benefits would be if she worked and earned over the Substantial Gainful Activity (SGA) amount, which is $1,550/month for 2025 for non-blind disabled individuals.

I'm in a very similar situation! I'm also a widow receiving child-in-care benefits for my disabled adult son who became disabled at age 19. I turned 63 last year and chose to stay on the child-in-care benefits rather than switch to survivor benefits, specifically because of the earnings limit issue. One thing that really helped me was requesting a benefit estimate comparison from SSA showing what I'd receive under each option. They can calculate your survivor benefit amount at 62 (reduced) versus your current child-in-care benefit amount, and factor in how the earnings limit would affect you based on your expected income. Also, don't forget that if you do switch to survivor benefits at 62, you can always switch back to your own retirement benefits later if that becomes more advantageous. But you can't undo the permanent reduction from taking survivor benefits early. I ended up staying on child-in-care benefits and now work part-time without any earnings restrictions. It's been a huge relief not having to worry about calculating earnings limits every month!