Should we get married before year-end for tax benefits? Is it worth it?
I (28M) am on track to make around $195K in 2025 while my girlfriend is finishing her master's program and isn't earning anything right now. Even though we're not officially married, we basically function as a married couple in every way. This year I've covered all our expenses including rent, utilities, groceries, and her health/dental insurance since it's her first year without a paying job (she has a mandatory unpaid practicum for her degree). Lately I've been feeling kind of annoyed that we have all the responsibilities of marriage but none of the financial perks. I've been supporting our household completely, yet I'm projected to overpay about $16K in combined state and federal taxes simply because we don't have a marriage certificate. We have absolutely zero doubts about our relationship and definitely plan to get married eventually, but organizing a wedding just hasn't been a priority with her intense grad school schedule. My family is also very traditional and would expect a $130K+ wedding extravaganza. That's not even counting the engagement ring and planning a proper proposal. $16K is a substantial amount of money that would significantly help our savings goals, especially living in such an expensive area. We're considering going to the courthouse to get legally married before December 31, 2025 to get the tax advantage. It would be a confidential marriage license, and I'd still need to get her a nice ring and plan a meaningful proposal soon. We would still refer to each other as boyfriend/girlfriend until our actual wedding celebration to preserve the significance of that day. We're pretty much decided on doing this, but I'm curious - has anyone else done something similar? Any regrets or unexpected consequences?
37 comments


Vanessa Chang
As a tax professional, I can definitely see why you're considering this. The "marriage penalty" can actually be a "marriage bonus" in situations like yours where one spouse earns significantly more than the other. Filing jointly would put you in a lower effective tax bracket compared to filing as single. Just be aware of a few things: First, your legal marriage date determines your filing status for the entire year - if you get married on December 31, 2025, you're considered married for all of 2025. Second, this will change how you file your W-4 with your employer. You'll want to adjust your withholding to account for your new filing status. One thing I often tell clients in your situation - don't let the tax tail wag the dog. Yes, $16K is significant, but marriage is also a legal arrangement that affects property rights, inheritance, medical decisions, etc. Make sure you're both comfortable with all aspects of legal marriage, not just the tax benefits.
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Madison King
•Do they need to update both of their W-4s? Or just the person who's working? And if they get married in December, would they need to file an amended return for the whole year or just file jointly when tax season comes around?
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Vanessa Chang
•Only the working partner needs to update their W-4 since the other partner doesn't have income requiring withholding. The working partner should complete a new W-4, checking the "Married filing jointly" box and potentially adjusting withholding allowances based on the combined household situation. No amended return would be needed. When tax season arrives in early 2026, you would simply file your 2025 taxes as "Married Filing Jointly" since your marital status as of December 31, 2025 determines your filing status for the entire year. That's why December marriages can be particularly advantageous from a tax perspective.
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Julian Paolo
I went through something similar last year! I was tired of paying so much in taxes while basically living like a married couple with my partner. We used https://taxr.ai to analyze our situation and it showed we'd save about $14K by filing jointly. We had a courthouse wedding in November and are planning our "real" ceremony for next summer. The service helped us figure out exactly how much we'd save with our specific income situation. It was super helpful seeing the numbers laid out clearly - made the decision much easier. The tool also helped us understand how to adjust withholdings after getting married.
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Julian Paolo
•The estimate was surprisingly accurate - we ended up saving about $13.6K which was very close to the $14K projection. I was also skeptical at first, but it was much more detailed than the basic calculators I'd tried before. It factored in state taxes and specific deductions relevant to our situation. As for family finding out, we were very careful about who we told. We only shared it with a couple of trusted friends and made it clear this was just the "paperwork" part. Our families are looking forward to our summer ceremony which we're treating as our "real" wedding. We just had to be disciplined about not accidentally referring to each other as spouse until after the public ceremony.
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Ella Knight
•How accurate was the estimate compared to what you actually saved when you filed? Was it pretty close or way off? I'm skeptical of online calculators since they always seem to oversimplify.
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William Schwarz
•Did you have any issues with family finding out about the courthouse marriage before your "real" wedding? That's my biggest concern - my mom would be devastated if she found out we got legally married without her there.
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Julian Paolo
•The estimate was surprisingly accurate - we ended up saving about $13.6K which was very close to the $14K projection. I was also skeptical at first, but it was much more detailed than the basic calculators I'd tried before. It factored in state taxes and specific deductions
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William Schwarz
I tried what you're planning and it was 100% worth it! Used https://taxr.ai after seeing it mentioned here and the analysis showed we'd save around $13K by filing jointly. We got legally married last December and are having our ceremony this fall. The service was super helpful - it showed exactly how our tax brackets would change and explained which deductions would work differently. The best part was being able to see different scenarios side by side. We ran the numbers both ways (filing single vs. joint) with our exact income situation and the difference was significant enough to make the decision easy. My partner and I are so glad we did it. The money we saved is going straight toward our actual wedding budget, which feels much better than giving it to the IRS!
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Lauren Johnson
Have you considered that getting married might affect your girlfriend's financial aid for grad school? My friend did this and her husband's income suddenly counted against her eligibility for grants and income-based loan repayment. Cost them way more than they saved in taxes. Also, I've been trying to call the IRS for weeks about a similar situation and can't get through. Someone on another thread recommended https://claimyr.com and shared this demo video https://youtu.be/_kiP6q8DX5c. Apparently they get you through to an actual IRS agent without the endless hold times. I'm planning to try it to get definitive answers about my own situation. If you do call them, ask specifically about FAFSA implications for graduate students who get married mid-program. The rules are complicated and it's worth understanding before you sign those papers.
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Jade Santiago
•How does this Claimyr thing actually work? Seems kinda sus that they can somehow get you through when nobody else can. Is it just paying someone to wait on hold for you?
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Caleb Stone
•Yeah right. No way this actually works. The IRS phone system is deliberately designed to be impossible. If this actually worked everyone would be using it and the IRS would shut it down immediately.
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Lauren Johnson
•It basically holds your place in line for you. Instead of you waiting on hold for hours, their system does it, then calls you when an agent is about to pick up. So yes, it's basically a professional hold service, but it means you don't have to keep your phone tied up all day. I definitely understand the skepticism - I felt the same way. But apparently they use some kind of system that navigates the IRS phone tree optimally and maintains the connection even during high-volume periods when most callers get disconnected. It's not bypassing anything, just automating the painful parts of the process.
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Caleb Stone
Just tried Claimyr after responding to that comment and... I'm shocked to say it actually works! I've been trying to reach the IRS for THREE WEEKS about my own married filing situation. Used the service this morning, and they called me back in about 2 hours when an agent was ready. Completely worth it. The agent clarified exactly how my specific situation would work with married filing jointly vs. separate. Even pointed out a credit I would have missed. Honestly, I wish I'd known about this sooner - would have saved me so much frustration and uncertainty. Regarding the original post - the agent confirmed that December marriages still count for the entire tax year, but mentioned some potential financial aid complications that might be worth looking into for your girlfriend's grad program.
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Daniel Price
My wife and I did exactly this three years ago. We were planning to get married anyway, but moved up the legal part to December to get the tax benefit. Saved us about $11K that first year. A few things I wish someone had told me: 1. You'll need to plan for the tax implications for NEXT year too. Your withholding will be way off unless you update your W-4 right away in January. 2. Consider how this affects health insurance. If either of you has benefits through work, getting married is usually a qualifying event to add a spouse. 3. Make sure you're both on the same page about finances once you're legally married. Will you combine accounts? How will you handle budgeting? We had our "real" wedding 8 months after legally marrying and kept the legal part private. No regrets at all.
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Noah Irving
•Thanks for the practical advice! Did you tell your employer right away after the courthouse marriage? I'm wondering if I need to update my benefits administrator immediately or wait until after our public ceremony.
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Daniel Price
•We told our employers immediately because we wanted to adjust tax withholdings and take advantage of the spousal health insurance benefits right away. Your HR department/benefits administrator will need your marriage certificate, but they don't broadcast this information to everyone else at work. I just quietly submitted the paperwork. If you're planning to add your spouse to your health insurance, don't wait – there's usually a limited window (often 30 days) after marriage to make changes outside the annual enrollment period. You're potentially leaving money on the table if you wait until your public ceremony.
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Olivia Evans
Has anyone considered the potential downsides of getting legally married just for tax purposes? What happens if (god forbid) things don't work out before your planned wedding? Now you'd need a legal divorce instead of just a breakup. I know everyone thinks their relationship is solid, but life throws curveballs. My brother did this exact tax move and then they postponed their wedding twice. Eventually they realized they had different life goals and now they're dealing with divorce lawyers instead of wedding planners.
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Sophia Bennett
•This is such a good point. My cousin did something similar and they ended up splitting before the "real" wedding. The divorce process was complicated because they had bought property together during that year of legal marriage. Cost them way more than they saved in taxes.
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Noah Irving
•I definitely appreciate this perspective. We've been together for 6 years and lived together for 4, so we're pretty confident in our relationship, but you make a valid point about the divorce aspect. It's something we've discussed and feel comfortable with the risk, but it's definitely something anyone considering this should think about carefully.
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Aiden Chen
One thing nobody's mentioned - make sure you understand what a "confidential marriage" actually means in your state. In California, for example, a confidential marriage license means the marriage is not part of the public record, but it's still a 100% legal marriage with all the same rights and responsibilities. Also, double-check that your state allows the filing status you're planning. Most states follow federal filing status requirements, but some have different rules for state tax returns. My state requires you to use the same filing status on your state return as you did on your federal return, but not all states do.
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Niko Ramsey
I'm actually going through this exact decision right now! My partner and I are in a very similar situation - I make about $180K and she's in her final year of grad school with no income. We've been together for 5 years and are definitely planning to marry anyway. What really helped us was running the numbers through multiple scenarios. We used one of those tax calculators mentioned here and it showed we'd save around $14K by filing jointly. That's a significant chunk of change that could go toward our actual wedding or a house down payment. One thing I'd add - check if your girlfriend's grad program offers any emergency financial aid or grants that might be affected by your marriage. Some schools have specific policies about mid-program marital status changes that could impact her funding. We discovered her program had a small emergency fund for students in financial need that she wouldn't qualify for once we're legally married. Also, make sure you're both mentally prepared for the "secret" aspect. We've decided to tell our parents but ask them to keep it quiet until our ceremony. It felt weird not being completely transparent with family, but we want to preserve the specialness of our actual wedding day. The tax savings definitely make it worth it in our situation, but it's good you're thinking through all the implications first!
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Carmen Ruiz
•This is really helpful to hear from someone in such a similar situation! The emergency fund consideration is something I hadn't thought about - that's a great point about checking all the financial aid implications before making the decision. I'm curious how you and your partner are handling the "secret" aspect with friends? We're worried about accidentally slipping up and referring to each other differently, especially since we have a pretty large friend group. Did you set any ground rules about what to say if people ask directly about wedding plans? Also, have you looked into whether the tax savings would be similar in your second year of marriage when your partner starts working? I'm wondering if the benefit is mostly just this one year while she has zero income, or if it continues to be advantageous even when we're both earning.
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Alina Rosenthal
I actually did this same calculation last year and want to share some insights that might help. My partner and I were in almost identical circumstances - I was making around $190K while she was finishing her PhD with no income. The tax savings are real and substantial in your situation. We saved about $15K that first year, which was close to what the calculators predicted. However, there are a few things I wish I'd considered more carefully: 1. **State-specific implications**: Some states have different rules about when you can change your filing status mid-year. Make sure you understand your state's requirements. 2. **Health insurance timing**: If your girlfriend isn't currently on your health plan, getting legally married creates a qualifying event to add her immediately rather than waiting for open enrollment. This could save you money right away if she's paying for her own coverage. 3. **Student loan implications**: This is big - once you're married, her income-driven repayment calculations will include your income, which could significantly increase her monthly payments once she graduates. Make sure to factor this into your long-term financial planning. 4. **Estate planning**: Being legally married automatically gives you certain inheritance rights and medical decision-making authority. Make sure you're both comfortable with these legal changes happening before your "official" wedding. The $16K savings definitely made it worthwhile for us, and we had no regrets. Our "real" wedding was just as special 10 months later. Just make sure you're considering all the financial ramifications beyond just the immediate tax benefit.
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Brandon Parker
•This is incredibly thorough - thank you for breaking down all these considerations! The student loan impact is something I definitely need to look into more carefully. My girlfriend will be starting her career next year and we haven't really thought about how marriage would affect her loan repayment calculations. The health insurance point is also really valuable. She's currently on a pretty expensive individual plan through the marketplace, so adding her to my employer plan could provide immediate savings on top of the tax benefits. That's probably another few thousand dollars we hadn't factored into our calculations. Did you find that the estate planning and medical decision-making changes felt weird at all? We already have each other listed as emergency contacts and have discussed our wishes, but I imagine there's something different about it being legally binding versus just our personal arrangement.
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Max Reyes
I'm a tax preparer and see this situation fairly often. Your math is probably right about the $16K savings - that's a typical marriage bonus when one spouse has high income and the other has zero income. A few practical tips if you move forward: **Timing**: Get married by December 31st to claim married filing jointly status for the entire 2025 tax year. Even December 31st counts for the full year. **Withholding adjustments**: Update your W-4 immediately in January 2026 to "Married Filing Jointly" and adjust your withholding allowances. Otherwise you'll massively overpay taxes next year since your current withholding assumes single status. **Documentation**: Keep your marriage certificate safe - you'll need it for tax filing and potentially for employer benefit changes. **State taxes**: Double-check your state's rules. Most states follow federal filing status, but a few have quirks. The financial benefit is real, but make sure you're both genuinely ready for legal marriage with all its implications beyond taxes. Once you sign that certificate, you're legally married regardless of when you have your ceremony. Also consider that next year when your girlfriend starts working, you'll want to run the numbers again. Depending on her income level, you might benefit from married filing separately in future years.
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Kelsey Chin
•This is really helpful advice from a professional perspective! I have a quick question about the withholding adjustments - when you say "adjust your withholding allowances," are you referring to the old W-4 system or the new one? I thought they changed how withholding works a few years ago and it's not based on allowances anymore. Also, you mentioned that married filing separately might be beneficial in future years depending on her income. Is there a general income threshold where it starts making sense to file separately instead of jointly? I'm trying to plan ahead since she'll likely be starting around $75-85K when she graduates.
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Nia Thompson
This is such a smart financial move! My husband and I did something very similar three years ago. I was making around $180K while he was finishing his dissertation with no income. We got legally married in November for the tax benefits and had our "real" wedding the following summer. A few things that really helped us: **Financial planning**: We saved about $13K that first year, which we put directly toward our wedding budget. It felt so much better using that money for our celebration rather than giving it to the government! **Managing expectations**: We told our immediate families about the legal marriage but emphasized it was just "paperwork" and that our summer ceremony would be the real celebration. Everyone understood and it actually made them more excited for the "official" wedding. **Practical considerations**: Make sure to factor in health insurance changes if applicable. Adding a spouse mid-year can sometimes save money immediately if they're currently on an expensive individual plan. **Communication**: The most important thing was that we were both 100% aligned on treating the legal marriage as purely administrative. We continued calling each other boyfriend/girlfriend until our actual wedding day, which helped maintain the specialness of that moment. Looking back, it was absolutely the right decision. The tax savings significantly helped our financial goals, and our wedding was just as meaningful and special. The legal paperwork beforehand didn't diminish that experience at all. Given your situation and income levels, the math definitely seems to work in your favor!
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CosmicCadet
•This is such a reassuring perspective! I love how you framed it as the legal marriage being purely administrative while preserving the specialness of your actual wedding day. That's exactly the approach we're considering. Your point about telling immediate family but emphasizing it's just "paperwork" is really smart. I think that framing would help our parents understand without feeling left out of something important. Did you find it challenging to maintain the boyfriend/girlfriend terminology, or did it become natural pretty quickly? Also, I'm curious about the health insurance aspect you mentioned. My girlfriend is currently on a marketplace plan that's costing us about $400/month. If we could add her to my employer plan mid-year, that could be significant additional savings on top of the tax benefits. Did you have to provide your marriage certificate to HR right away, or were you able to delay that change? The more I think about this, the more it seems like a no-brainer from a financial perspective. It's helpful to hear from someone who went through the exact same process and has no regrets about it!
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Kiara Fisherman
This is such a practical question and I love seeing all the detailed responses! As someone who's been through a similar situation, I wanted to add a few considerations that might be helpful. First, the tax savings are absolutely real in your income bracket disparity. When one partner has $195K and the other has $0, married filing jointly typically provides substantial benefits because you're essentially spreading that income across two people for tax bracket purposes. However, I'd strongly recommend getting professional tax advice specific to your situation before making the decision. A good CPA can run your exact numbers and also help you understand implications for future years when your girlfriend starts working. They can also advise on optimal timing - some people benefit more from getting married early in the year versus late December. One thing I haven't seen mentioned much is the potential impact on retirement account contributions. Once you're married, your non-working spouse can contribute to a spousal IRA even without earned income, which could provide additional tax benefits beyond just the filing status change. Also consider setting up a clear financial plan for how you'll handle money as a legally married couple. Will you combine finances immediately or wait until the "real" wedding? How will you handle major purchases or debt? Having these conversations beforehand can prevent awkwardness later. The courthouse marriage route definitely works for many couples in your situation - just make sure you're both fully comfortable with all the legal and emotional implications, not just the tax benefits!
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Ravi Kapoor
•This is really excellent advice about getting professional tax guidance! The spousal IRA contribution point is something I hadn't considered at all - that could be another significant tax benefit on top of the filing status change. Your question about combining finances is really important too. We've been talking about this and I think we're leaning toward keeping our current arrangement (where I handle most expenses) until our actual wedding ceremony, then officially combining everything. It feels like that maintains the boundary between the "administrative" marriage and our "real" marriage. The timing consideration is interesting - I assumed December was optimal to maximize the current year benefit, but you're right that there might be strategic reasons to consider earlier in the year. Definitely something to discuss with a CPA. Have you or anyone else dealt with the logistics of keeping a legal marriage private from extended family and friends? That's honestly my biggest concern - not the financial or legal aspects, but managing the social dynamics and making sure we don't accidentally slip up in conversation.
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Sean Flanagan
I'm actually a tax attorney and see this situation frequently. Your $16K savings estimate sounds very reasonable given the income disparity - that's a classic "marriage bonus" scenario where filing jointly drops your effective tax rate significantly. A few legal considerations beyond the tax benefits: **Community property implications**: Depending on your state, getting legally married could immediately change how any assets or debts acquired after marriage are classified. Make sure you understand your state's property laws. **Gift tax benefits**: Once married, you can make unlimited gifts to each other without tax implications. This becomes relevant if you're planning to transfer significant assets or help with student loan payments. **Social Security benefits**: Though it probably seems far off, legal marriage establishes eligibility for spousal Social Security benefits, which can be valuable long-term planning. **Estate planning updates**: You'll want to update beneficiaries on retirement accounts, life insurance, etc. once you're legally married, even if you're keeping it private. The courthouse approach is perfectly legitimate and common. I'd recommend consulting with both a CPA for tax optimization and potentially an estate planning attorney to make sure all your legal documents align with your new marital status. The $16K annual savings will likely more than cover these professional consultations. From a purely financial standpoint, this makes complete sense in your situation. Just ensure you're both aligned on the legal responsibilities that come with marriage beyond the tax benefits.
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Owen Devar
•This is incredibly comprehensive advice from a legal perspective! The community property point is especially important - I hadn't considered how getting married might immediately change the classification of assets we acquire between the legal marriage and our ceremony. The gift tax benefits aspect is really interesting too, particularly for helping with student loan payments. My girlfriend will have about $85K in loans when she graduates, and being able to help pay those down without gift tax implications could be another financial advantage of legal marriage. I'm definitely convinced that consulting with both a CPA and estate planning attorney is worth the investment. The professional fees would easily be covered by just a fraction of our projected tax savings, and having everything properly documented and aligned seems crucial. One follow-up question - you mentioned updating beneficiaries on retirement accounts and life insurance once legally married. Is this something that needs to happen immediately after the courthouse ceremony, or can we wait until our public wedding? I want to make sure we're compliant with all requirements but also maintain some separation between the administrative and ceremonial aspects if possible.
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Madison Tipne
I'm in a very similar situation and this thread has been incredibly helpful! My partner and I have been discussing this exact same decision - I make about $185K and she's finishing her PhD with no income this year. After reading all these responses, I'm convinced the tax savings are real and substantial. What really sealed it for me was seeing multiple people share actual results that matched their projections pretty closely. The $16K you'd save is significant money that could go toward your actual wedding or other financial goals. A few things I'm taking away from this discussion that might help you: 1. **Get professional advice**: The tax attorney's comment about consulting both a CPA and estate planning attorney makes total sense. The cost would be minimal compared to your savings. 2. **Plan for next year**: Multiple people mentioned updating your W-4 immediately after marriage to avoid overpaying taxes in 2026. That's something I hadn't thought about. 3. **Consider all the benefits**: Beyond taxes, there's potential health insurance savings, spousal IRA contributions, and other financial advantages that could add up to even more than $16K. 4. **The secrecy aspect**: It seems like most couples who did this successfully told immediate family but framed it as "administrative paperwork" while preserving the specialness of their actual ceremony. Given your 6+ year relationship and the substantial financial benefit, this seems like a smart financial decision that won't diminish your eventual wedding celebration at all. The key seems to be approaching it as a practical financial move while keeping the emotional significance separate for your real wedding day.
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Megan D'Acosta
•This is such a thoughtful summary of all the key points from this discussion! I'm also in a similar situation (making around $170K while my partner finishes grad school) and have been on the fence about this decision. What really convinced me from reading everyone's experiences is that the tax savings seem to be consistently accurate - multiple people reported actual results very close to their projections. The fact that you can frame it as administrative paperwork while preserving the emotional significance of your real wedding makes it feel much more comfortable from a relationship perspective. I'm definitely going to look into the professional consultation route. Having a CPA run our specific numbers and an estate planning attorney help with all the legal documentation updates seems like a small investment for such substantial savings. Plus it would give us confidence that we're handling everything properly. One thing I'm curious about - has anyone dealt with employer stock options or restricted stock units while doing this? I have some RSUs vesting next year and I'm wondering if marriage status affects how those are taxed when they vest.
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Connor Byrne
I'm a CPA and wanted to address the RSU question that came up. Yes, marriage status can affect RSU taxation, but probably not in the way you're thinking. The RSUs themselves are taxed as ordinary income when they vest regardless of filing status, but your overall tax situation changes because you're filing jointly. With RSUs, the main consideration is withholding. Your employer will withhold taxes at supplemental income rates (usually 22% federal) when they vest, but your actual tax rate depends on your total household income. If you're married filing jointly with a high-income spouse, you might end up owing additional taxes at filing time since the withholding assumes single status. Make sure to adjust your W-4 and potentially make estimated quarterly payments once you're married to account for the RSU income combined with your spouse's income. The marriage itself doesn't change how RSUs are taxed, but it changes your overall tax picture. Regarding the original post - the December courthouse marriage strategy is very common and typically works exactly as planned for couples in your income situation. I've prepared taxes for many couples who did this and the savings are consistently substantial when one spouse has high income and the other has zero income. Just make sure to plan ahead for next year's withholding adjustments!
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Olivia Martinez
•Thank you so much for clarifying the RSU situation! That makes perfect sense - the RSUs themselves don't change how they're taxed, but the overall household tax picture changes significantly with married filing jointly status. Your point about withholding is really important. I hadn't thought about how the employer's 22% withholding on RSUs might not be sufficient when combined with my spouse's income in a joint filing situation. Making estimated quarterly payments to avoid a big tax bill next April is definitely something I need to plan for. This is exactly why everyone in this thread is recommending professional tax consultation - there are so many interconnected pieces that it's easy to miss important considerations like this. Between the immediate tax savings from filing jointly and planning properly for things like RSU withholding, it seems like the investment in professional advice would pay for itself many times over. I'm increasingly convinced that the December courthouse marriage strategy makes financial sense, especially with proper planning and professional guidance to handle all the nuances.
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