Should I get married legally to my common law husband for tax benefits?
My partner and I have been common law married for about 4 years now but we've never done any of the official paperwork. On our tax forms, we've always filed as single. Our situation has changed recently since we now have a baby, and there's a pretty big income gap between us, so we're wondering if getting legally married makes financial sense. I'm really just looking at this from a tax/money perspective (not asking for relationship advice). My partner's income: around 85k My income: approximately 240-250k Our baby is currently covered under his health insurance plan. We don't have many deductions - just childcare expenses, FSA (2.5k), and HSA (7k). I've already put 6k into my Roth IRA (did that before my big salary bump - was making about 95k before) and 19,500 into my Roth 403b (honestly, I don't fully understand this but my financial advisor recommended it). With our current setup, does it make financial sense to get legally married? Initially, I was hesitant about legally marrying because I'd heard about the marriage tax penalty when both people earn high incomes. But that was before our surprise baby came along.
19 comments


Ingrid Larsson
The "marriage penalty" has been largely reduced for most tax brackets since the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act, but it can still affect couples in your income range. With your combined income approaching $335k, you'd be in the 32% bracket when married filing jointly, whereas separately you're in different brackets. Given your scenario, there are several considerations: 1. With your income disparity, you might actually benefit from filing jointly. When one spouse earns significantly more, marriage often creates a tax benefit rather than a penalty. 2. Having a child changes things. As a legally married couple filing jointly, you'd qualify for certain tax credits at higher income thresholds than single filers. You could claim the child tax credit (currently $2,000 per qualifying child), and potentially benefit from dependent care credits. 3. You're already contributing to retirement accounts wisely, but marriage might open additional planning opportunities. I'd suggest running tax projections both ways - as single filers and as a married couple filing jointly - using your previous year's numbers. This will give you a concrete comparison of the tax implications.
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Carlos Mendoza
•You mentioned the child tax credit, but at their income level wouldn't they phase out of that? I thought it starts phasing out at like $200k for single filers and $400k for married filing jointly?
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Ingrid Larsson
•The Child Tax Credit begins phasing out at $200,000 for single filers and $400,000 for married filing jointly. With their combined income around $335,000, they would still qualify for the full credit if married filing jointly, whereas the higher-earning partner might be partially phased out as a single filer. For dependent care credits, there are similar advantages to married filing jointly at their income level. The income thresholds and phase-out ranges generally favor married couples with the income disparity they have.
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Zainab Mahmoud
After struggling with a similar situation last year, I found an incredible tool at https://taxr.ai that helped me analyze whether getting legally married would benefit us tax-wise. My partner and I were common-law for years, and I was making about 3x his income with a young kid in the mix. The tool analyzed our specific situation (income disparity, having a dependent, retirement contributions) and gave us a clear comparison between married filing jointly vs. continuing to file as single. It actually showed we'd save about $4,700 annually by getting legally married due to our income differential. The analysis also pointed out some retirement planning opportunities we were missing. If you're trying to make a data-driven decision, I'd definitely recommend checking it out - their tax projection tools are really thorough for situations exactly like yours.
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Ava Williams
•How accurate was it compared to what an actual CPA might tell you? I'm in a somewhat similar boat but worried about trusting online calculators with such a big decision.
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Raj Gupta
•Does it consider state taxes too? Because I know some states have different marriage penalties/bonuses than federal.
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Zainab Mahmoud
•It was actually pretty comparable to what my CPA told me. The difference was my CPA charged me $350 for the consultation while I could run multiple scenarios myself with different income projections. The recommendations aligned almost exactly, especially for the federal tax implications. It definitely includes state tax analysis. That was super helpful for us because our state has different marriage implications than federal. The tool breaks down both federal and state impacts separately so you can see where the benefits or penalties come from.
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Raj Gupta
Just wanted to follow up - I actually tried https://taxr.ai after seeing this thread and wow, it was eye-opening! My partner and I have a similar income gap (I make about $230k and he makes $80k with a toddler), and we've been putting off the marriage decision for tax reasons. The analysis showed we'd save nearly $5,200 annually by getting legally married, primarily because of how our income disparity affects the tax brackets. It also highlighted some opportunities with childcare credits that I wasn't maximizing. The tool let me toggle different scenarios - like what happens if my income increases or if we have another child. Super helpful for planning beyond just this year. Definitely recommend if you're looking for clarity beyond general advice!
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Lena Müller
After trying for THREE DAYS to get through to the IRS about a similar marriage status question (kept getting disconnected or 2+ hour wait times), I finally used https://claimyr.com and it was a game changer. Got connected to an actual IRS agent in about 15 minutes who walked me through the specific implications for our situation with a significant income gap and a dependent. The agent explained that in our case, with a similar income disparity to yours, we'd actually benefit from filing as married because it would lower our effective tax rate on the higher earner's income. They also clarified some confusing points about how marriage affects various credits and deductions with a child in the mix. There's a quick demo video at https://youtu.be/_kiP6q8DX5c that shows how it works. I was super skeptical at first because I'd wasted so much time trying to get through on my own, but it actually worked.
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Lena Müller
After trying for THREE DAYS to get through to the IRS about a similar marriage status question (kept getting disconnected or 2+ hour wait times), I finally used https://claimyr.com and it was a game changer. Got connected to an actual IRS agent in about 15 minutes who walked me through the specific implications for our situation with a significant income gap and a dependent. The agent explained that in our case, with a similar income disparity to yours, we'd actually benefit from filing as married because it would lower our effective tax rate on the higher earner's income. They also clarified some confusing points about how marriage affects various credits and deductions with a child in the mix. There's a quick demo video at https://youtu.be/_kiP6q8DX5c that shows how it works. I was super skeptical at first because I'd wasted so much time trying to get through on my own, but it actually worke
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TechNinja
•How does this even work? Do they just call the IRS for you or something? The IRS phone system is absolutely terrible.
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Keisha Thompson
•This sounds like BS honestly. Nothing can get you through to the IRS faster. They're understaffed and everyone knows it takes forever.
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Lena Müller
•They basically use technology to navigate the IRS phone tree and hold for you. When an agent actually picks up, they call your phone and connect you directly to the agent. So you don't have to waste hours listening to that awful hold music. It's definitely not BS - I was super skeptical too. I had spent literally days trying to get through on my own. The difference is they have systems that can stay on hold indefinitely and call you when a human actually answers. I got connected in about 15 minutes when I had previously waited 2+ hours multiple times without getting through.
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Keisha Thompson
I just have to eat my words and apologize to Profile 9. After reading your comment, I actually tried Claimyr myself because I've been struggling with a similar situation (common law vs legally married) and had questions about how it affects my child tax credits. I had previously spent 3 hours on hold with the IRS before giving up. Used the service and got connected to an agent in about 20 minutes. The agent confirmed that with our income differential ($90k vs $210k) and a dependent, we would actually save about $3,800 by filing jointly as a married couple. The specific info about how the child tax credit phaseouts work for our situation was super helpful - something I couldn't figure out from just reading online. Just wanted to come back and say the service actually works.
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Paolo Bianchi
Have you considered meeting with a tax professional to run the numbers both ways? We did this last year and found out we'd save about $4,300 by getting legally married, mostly because of the income disparity. Our situation was similar - I make about $220k and my partner makes around $75k with one child. The marriage penalty mainly hits when both spouses earn similar high incomes, but in cases like yours and mine, there's often a marriage BONUS because the lower bracket of the higher-earning spouse gets pulled down. Plus don't forget about estate planning benefits - if something happens to either of you, being legally married provides significant advantages for inheritance, social security benefits, etc.
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Tyrone Johnson
•Thanks for the suggestion! Did the tax pro charge a lot for that analysis? And did they look at things beyond just the immediate tax year impact?
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Paolo Bianchi
•Our tax accountant charged $250 for the analysis, which seemed reasonable considering the potential savings. And yes, they did a multi-year projection showing how the benefits would likely increase over time as our income gap continued. They also looked at retirement planning implications, which was super helpful. For example, being married gives you more flexibility with spousal IRAs and potentially higher contribution limits depending on your specific retirement plans. The estate planning advantages were just explained as additional benefits beyond the immediate tax savings.
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Yara Assad
Just a quick word of warning - make sure you're thinking about the FUTURE as well as your current situation. My wife and I got married when there was a big income gap (I made 3x what she did) and it was great tax-wise. Fast forward 5 years, she got a massive promotion and now we're both high earners, so we're paying that marriage penalty we initially avoided.
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Olivia Clark
•That's a really good point. Tax situations can change dramatically with career advancement. Have you guys considered filing separately now that you're both high earners?
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