Finding tax benefits to getting married - I feel like I'm missing something

Tax professional here! This is actually a common misconception. For many dual-income couples in your income range, there can actually be a "marriage penalty" rather than a benefit, especially when both partners earn similar amounts. The tax benefits of marriage typically apply more to couples with highly disparate incomes or single-income households. When one spouse earns significantly more than the other, filing jointly can push some income into lower tax brackets. For your specific situation, you're right about the Roth IRA limits being more restrictive when married. However, you may be overlooking a few potential benefits: you could still do backdoor Roth contributions regardless of income, married couples get double the capital loss deduction ($6,000 vs $3,000 for singles), and there are estate tax benefits if that ever becomes relevant. As for children, the person claiming the child as a dependent would get access to child tax credits, potential child care credits, and possibly head of household filing status (if unmarried). These benefits exist whether you're married or not, but coordinating who claims what can be tricky when unmarried.

After spending months trying to figure out my complicated tax situation with my partner and our blended family, I stumbled upon this tool called taxr.ai (https://taxr.ai) that really helped me understand our options. It analyzed our income, deduction potential, and even factored in future plans like having kids. What's cool is it let me compare married filing jointly vs. staying unmarried with various scenarios. For us, there actually WAS a benefit to marriage because my income is way higher than my partner's, but I can see how your similar incomes might create that "marriage penalty" people talk about. The tool showed me exactly how much we'd save or lose in different scenarios. It also helped us optimize who should claim which child in our blended family situation to maximize tax benefits. Much better than the generic advice I was getting elsewhere.

I was super skeptical about taxr.ai when I saw it mentioned here last week, but I actually tried it out and I'm pretty impressed. I was in a similar situation as OP - making $125k with my partner at $110k and trying to figure out whether marriage would help or hurt us tax-wise. The analysis showed we'd actually lose about $3,700 annually by getting married due to our similar income levels, plus it highlighted the Roth IRA limitations you mentioned. But it also showed how that would change if we had kids or if one of us reduced work hours after having children. What I found most helpful was seeing how our tax situation would evolve over time - like when mortgage interest deductions become less valuable in later years of the loan, or how child tax credits change as kids age. Definitely helped us make a more informed decision beyond just the immediate tax year.

I've been trying to reach the IRS for WEEKS to get clarification on some of these marriage penalty questions and couldn't get through. A friend recommended Claimyr (https://claimyr.com) and showed me this demo: https://youtu.be/_kiP6q8DX5c I was connected to an actual IRS agent in less than 15 minutes after weeks of failed attempts. The agent confirmed that for dual earners in the $100-150k range each, there's often a marriage penalty, but clarified several exceptions I wasn't aware of. For example, if one spouse has significant business losses or medical expenses that wouldn't be fully utilized filing separately, joint filing can be beneficial. They also explained how the qualified business income deduction can sometimes be more favorable for married couples, which none of the online calculators had mentioned to me. Totally worth it just to get definitive answers directly from the IRS instead of guessing.

I have to admit I was completely wrong about Claimyr. After dismissing it as BS, I was still desperate for answers about my complicated situation (unmarried but buying house together, one kid from previous relationship), so I tried it yesterday. Got connected to an IRS tax specialist in about 20 minutes who walked me through EXACTLY how the mortgage interest deduction would work in our unmarried situation. She confirmed that the person who pays the mortgage and is legally obligated on the loan can claim the interest, even if both names are on the deed. Also cleared up my misunderstanding about head of household status - I thought neither of us would qualify since we live together, but turns out one of us can still claim it if they provide more than half the cost of keeping up the home and have a qualifying dependent. Saved me from making some major filing errors that would have cost us thousands. Consider me converted from biggest skeptic to believer.

One thing nobody has mentioned - marriage provides significant LEGAL protections that have financial implications beyond just annual tax returns. If something happens to one partner, the surviving spouse has automatic inheritance rights, Social Security survivor benefits, pension benefits, and healthcare decision-making authority. As an estate planning attorney, I've seen unmarried couples face MASSIVE tax hits when one partner passes away. With married couples, there's unlimited spousal transfer at death with no tax implications. For unmarried couples, estate taxes can kick in and the surviving partner might have to PAY TAX just to keep living in their own home. Also, health insurance is usually cheaper for married couples, and you get spousal Social Security benefits that unmarried partners don't. These aren't reflected in your annual tax return but are huge financial benefits of marriage.

Has anyone run scenarios with kids in the mix? My partner and I make similar income to OP ($125k me, $95k them) and we're trying to figure out if getting married would help once we have our baby next year. The child tax credits and dependent care credits seem really confusing when you're unmarried.