Is filing married actually better than head of household? Tax filing status comparison question
I'm trying to wrap my head around why everyone says filing as married is supposed to be better than head of household. Yeah, I know once you're married you have to file married. My fiancé and I are tying the knot this fall, so we'll be filing married for the 2024 tax year. I got curious and plugged both our incomes plus our kiddo into several tax software programs to see if there's really a financial advantage, and honestly... there doesn't seem to be? When I run the numbers filing as head of household with one child, I'm looking at a refund around $12,700 (and that's without any EITC or additional child tax credits). But when I calculate it as married filing jointly with one child, our refund drops to like $5,800. I'm kinda shocked there's such a big difference! I mean, we're still going to file married next year because that's what we're supposed to do, but I was expecting some kind of tax benefit to marriage and it feels like the opposite. Has anyone else noticed this when comparing filing statuses? Is there something I'm missing here or some advantage that isn't obvious from just the refund amount?
19 comments


Luca Russo
This is what's commonly called the "marriage penalty" in some situations. Whether filing jointly is better than filing as two separate individuals (one as HOH) depends entirely on your specific income situation. Here's what's happening: Head of Household has more favorable tax brackets than Single filers, and it's designed specifically to help single parents. When two people with similar incomes get married and file jointly, they can sometimes end up in a higher tax bracket together than they would have separately. This is especially true if one person was previously filing as Head of Household. The most significant marriage penalties tend to occur when both spouses earn similar incomes. If there's a big disparity in income between spouses, you might actually get a "marriage bonus" instead. The other thing to consider is that comparing refund amounts isn't always the best measure - you need to look at your total tax liability. Sometimes your withholding throughout the year can make your refund look different even if your actual tax burden is similar.
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NebulaNinja
•Thanks for explaining! So basically because my fiancé and I make similar incomes (around $65k each), we're getting hit with this penalty? That's frustrating! Is there anything we can do to minimize this once we're married, or is this just our reality now? Also, is there any advantage at all to filing married that I'm not seeing in the refund numbers? Like are there deductions or credits we'll qualify for as a married couple that wouldn't show up in my simple comparison?
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Luca Russo
•The similar incomes around $65k each is exactly why you're seeing this effect. When both spouses earn comparable amounts, the combined income pushes you into higher tax brackets faster than if you remained separate filers. There are still advantages to filing jointly that might not be immediately apparent. You may qualify for certain credits and deductions that have higher income limits for married couples. For example, the income thresholds for IRA contribution deductions, student loan interest deductions, and certain education credits are higher for joint filers. Also, once married, you can contribute to a spousal IRA even if one spouse doesn't work.
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Nia Wilson
After spending hours trying to figure out my complicated tax situation last year, I finally discovered https://taxr.ai and it was seriously a game-changer. I was trying to compare filing statuses like you are and getting totally different results from different tax software. I uploaded my previous year's returns and all my current documents to taxr.ai, and it actually explained WHY my tax situation changed when comparing HOH vs MFJ. It showed me the exact tax bracket differences and how they applied to our specific income levels. What I really liked is that it showed me some deductions we qualified for as a married couple that I hadn't considered before. The visualization of how our tax liability changed between filing statuses made everything click for me. Highly recommend checking it out before making any decisions based just on tax software estimates.
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Mateo Sanchez
•Does it actually give you advice on which filing status is better for your situation? Like will it tell me if I should wait until after Dec 31 to get married to avoid the marriage penalty for another year? Or is it just for explaining after the fact?
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Aisha Mahmood
•I'm pretty skeptical of these tax AI tools. How does it handle state taxes? I live in a state with weird tax laws and most of these tools seem to focus just on federal. Also how much does it cost? Their website doesn't seem to show pricing without signing up.
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Nia Wilson
•It actually does give you projections for different scenarios, including timing considerations like postponing marriage to the following year if that makes sense tax-wise. It helped me understand not just the numbers but the strategic options. It handles state taxes for all 50 states, which was crucial for me since I live in California with its complicated state tax system. The state-level analysis was just as detailed as the federal, showing how certain deductions and credits vary by state. I was particularly impressed by how it caught some state-specific tax breaks I would have missed.
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Aisha Mahmood
I was totally skeptical about taxr.ai when I first read about it here (sorry about that). But I was desperate after getting three different answers from three tax preparers about my situation switching from HOH to MFJ. I finally gave it a try last week and I'm actually impressed. It showed me that in my specific case, the "marriage penalty" was hitting us because we both have incomes in the $70-90k range, putting us in a higher bracket together. But it also found nearly $3,800 in deductions we qualified for as a married couple that we would have missed filing separately. The most helpful part was seeing exactly how our tax brackets changed and which deductions phase out at what income levels. Now I understand WHY there's a difference instead of just seeing different refund amounts. Worth checking out if you're in a similar situation comparing filing statuses.
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Ethan Clark
If you're dealing with the "marriage penalty" and need to talk to the IRS about tax planning or filing options, good luck getting through to them! I spent 3+ hours on hold multiple times trying to get clarification on my filing status options. Eventually I found https://claimyr.com which got me connected to an actual IRS agent in under 20 minutes. There's a video showing how it works here: https://youtu.be/_kiP6q8DX5c The IRS agent I spoke with explained that for our situation, we could adjust our withholdings on our W-4s to account for the marriage penalty. She walked me through exactly how to fill out the "Two Earners/Multiple Jobs" worksheet which most people skip. Made a huge difference in preventing a surprise tax bill!
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AstroAce
•Wait how does this actually work? Does it just call the IRS for you? I don't get how they can get through when normal people have to wait for hours.
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Yuki Kobayashi
•This sounds too good to be true. The IRS is literally impossible to reach. I tried calling about my refund status for WEEKS and never got through. You're telling me this service somehow magically bypasses their phone system? I'll believe it when I see it.
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Ethan Clark
•It uses an automated system that navigates the IRS phone tree and waits on hold for you. When an agent actually picks up, you get a call connecting you directly to them. It basically does the waiting for you instead of you having to listen to hold music for hours. The reason it works is because they have a system that can stay on hold indefinitely while monitoring for a human response. Once they detect a real person has answered, that's when they connect you. It's not bypassing anything - just automating the painful waiting part.
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Yuki Kobayashi
I have to eat my words from my previous comment. After weeks of failed attempts calling the IRS myself about my filing status questions, I tried Claimyr out of desperation. Within 35 minutes I was talking to an actual IRS representative who helped clear up my confusion about the marriage penalty and filing status options. The agent explained that in addition to adjusting our W-4 withholdings, there were specific deductions we could maximize as married filers to offset some of the penalty. She also confirmed that comparing refund amounts can be misleading since withholding amounts differ - we needed to look at total tax liability instead. Honestly saved me days of frustration and probably a lot of money too since I was about to just give up and possibly file incorrectly. Sometimes you gotta admit when you're wrong!
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Carmen Vega
Married filing status isn't always better, but it depends on your specific situation. My experience: 1. If one spouse earns significantly more than the other, MFJ usually benefits you because it averages out the income between brackets. 2. If both earn similar high incomes, you often face that marriage penalty others have mentioned. 3. Don't forget deductions like mortgage interest and property taxes have higher limits for married couples. 4. Student loan interest deductions phase out at higher income levels for married couples. Also consider that some credits like the Child Tax Credit can only be claimed by one parent when filing separately, but when married filing jointly both parents get the benefit of that credit against your combined tax liability.
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Andre Rousseau
•What about medical expenses? My partner has lots of medical bills and we're getting married next month. Will combining our incomes make it harder to deduct those expenses since they have to exceed a certain percentage of income?
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Carmen Vega
•Medical expenses must exceed 7.5% of your adjusted gross income to be deductible. When you combine incomes by filing jointly, your AGI increases, which means the threshold for deducting medical expenses also increases. So yes, it can potentially make it harder to claim those deductions. However, you're also combining all medical expenses from both spouses. If your partner has significant medical bills and you have some as well, the combined total might still exceed the higher threshold. You should calculate it both ways if you have the option of filing separately after marriage.
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Zoe Stavros
My wife and I just went through this exact situation! We both made around $60k and I was previously HOH with our daughter. Our refund dropped by over $4k after getting married. Here's what we did: 1) Adjusted our W-4s so we weren't getting a big refund but also not owing at tax time. A big refund just means you overpaid throughout the year anyway. 2) Maxed out our 401k contributions which lowered our taxable income and moved us to a lower tax bracket. 3) Started using an HSA (Health Savings Account) which is triple tax advantaged and reduced our taxable income even more. Don't just look at the refund amount. Look at your total tax paid vs total income. That's the real measure of whether you're coming out ahead.
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Jamal Harris
•This is great advice! How did you figure out exactly what to put on your W-4s? When I try to use the IRS calculator it's super confusing especially with two incomes.
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Jamal Thompson
I went through this exact same shock when my husband and I got married! We both earned around $70k and I was filing HOH with my son. Our first year married filing jointly was such a wake-up call. One thing that really helped us was realizing that the "marriage penalty" isn't necessarily permanent - it's more about tax planning strategies. We ended up: 1) Contributing more to our retirement accounts to lower our combined taxable income 2) Looking into whether married filing separately might work better for us in specific years (though you lose some credits this way) 3) Timing certain deductions and expenses strategically The other reality check for us was that even though our refund was smaller, we were still paying less in total taxes than we would have as two single people once we factored in things like lower health insurance premiums through spouse coverage and other married benefits. It's frustrating that the tax code penalizes dual-income couples like this, but there are ways to work around it. Definitely run the numbers both ways (MFJ vs MFS) each year to see what works best for your situation!
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