Social Security 10-year marriage rule: Does divorce filing date or final decree count for ex-spouse benefits?
My divorce was finalized in April 2025 but we actually filed the paperwork back in late 2021 - so the whole process took over 3 years! Now I'm trying to figure out if I'll qualify for ex-spouse Social Security benefits when I retire in a few years. I know there's that 10-year marriage requirement, but I'm confused about WHICH date SSA uses to determine eligibility. We were married in June 2012, so if they use the filing date, I wouldn't meet the 10-year requirement. But if they use the final decree date, I would qualify. Has anyone dealt with this situation? I've tried calling the SSA office three times but keep getting disconnected after 40+ minutes on hold.
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Giovanni Rossi
SSA absolutely goes by the final decree date, not the filing date. I went through this exact situation last year. The agent I spoke with was very clear that as long as you were legally married until the divorce was FINALIZED for 10 years or more, you qualify. So in your case, 2012 to 2025 is definitely over 10 years - you're good!
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Fatima Al-Maktoum
•This is correct. Social Security strictly uses the date the divorce was legally finalized by the court, not when you filed the petition. According to SSA.gov, you must have been married for at least 10 consecutive years, ending with a finalized divorce, to be eligible for ex-spouse benefits. The actual language in their operations manual states "date the divorce became final."
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Dylan Mitchell
my friend got denied cause her divorce took 2 long... something about rules for if u reconcile during the divorce process... better double check your case is different than hers
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CosmicCaptain
•Oh no, that's concerning! We definitely didn't reconcile during the process - it just took forever because of court backlogs and some property disputes. Do you know if there's a specific form or documentation I should have ready when I talk to SSA about this?
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Sofia Gutierrez
I WENT THROUGH THIS NIGHTMARE in 2023!!! They absolutely 100% use the FINAL DECREE date. I had a similar timeline (though my divorce only took 2 years not 3.5). The big issue is you MUST have the official court documents showing both your marriage date AND the final divorce decree date. Don't just walk in with photocopies - they rejected mine twice!! Had to get court-certified copies with the raised seal. The whole system is designed to make you give up!!!
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Dmitry Petrov
•That's good to know about needing certified copies! I just assumed regular photocopies would be fine. Seems like everything with SS requires some special format.
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StarSurfer
If you're struggling to reach someone at SSA, I'd recommend trying Claimyr (claimyr.com). I was in a similar situation trying to verify my ex-spouse benefit eligibility and kept getting disconnected. Claimyr got me connected to an actual SSA agent in about 20 minutes instead of hours of hold time. They have a video showing how it works: https://youtu.be/Z-BRbJw3puU Regarding your question, SSA specifically uses the date the divorce was finalized by the court (the decree date), not the initial filing date. This is clearly stated in their Program Operations Manual System (POMS) which is their internal rulebook. So your marriage from June 2012 to April 2025 would qualify as over 10 years for ex-spouse benefit purposes.
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CosmicCaptain
•Thank you for the Claimyr suggestion! I'll definitely check that out because these phone calls are driving me crazy. And thanks for confirming about the decree date - that's a huge relief. I was worried I'd miss qualifying by just a few months after all these years.
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Ava Martinez
wait does this mean i can collect from my ex?? we were married 11 years but i never thought to apply for his ss
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Fatima Al-Maktoum
•Yes, you might qualify! If you were married for 11 years, are currently unmarried, and your ex is entitled to Social Security retirement or disability benefits, you could receive up to 50% of their full retirement amount. You need to be at least 62 to claim, and if your own benefit would be higher, you'll get that instead. Check SSA.gov for the full eligibility requirements.
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Dmitry Petrov
The date that matters is definitely the final divorce decree date. But here's something else to consider - are you sure you even want to claim on your ex's record? Remember that to qualify you also need to be unmarried when you apply (unless your later marriage also ended). And the benefit is only worthwhile if 50% of your ex's benefit is more than 100% of your own. Just something to think about while you're planning.
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CosmicCaptain
•That's a good point. My ex was the higher earner in our marriage (I stayed home with kids for several years), so I'm pretty sure his benefit would be significantly higher. I haven't remarried and don't plan to before retirement. I'm just trying to understand all my options so I can make the best choice when the time comes!
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Giovanni Rossi
My aunt just went through this process and there's another catch - even if you qualify based on the 10-year rule, you can only get ex-spouse benefits if your former spouse is eligible for benefits (meaning they're at least 62) OR has already filed for their benefits. The only exception is if you've been divorced for at least 2 years, then you can claim on their record even if they haven't filed yet. Just something else to keep in mind with your planning!
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Sofia Gutierrez
•THIS!!! I got caught by this rule too!!! Had to wait TWO WHOLE YEARS after my divorce before I could claim even though my ex was eligible. The SSA doesn't exactly go out of their way to explain these rules clearly. It's ALWAYS some surprise gotcha with them!!!
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Dylan Mitchell
so i think it depends on your state too? my cousin in florida had different experience than my friend in texas
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Fatima Al-Maktoum
•Social Security is a federal program, so the 10-year marriage rule for ex-spouse benefits is the same in all 50 states. The date the divorce becomes final (the decree date) is what counts, regardless of state. However, what might differ by state is how divorce processes work and how long they take, which could indirectly affect whether someone reaches the 10-year mark.
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CosmicCaptain
Thanks everyone for your helpful responses! This is such a relief to know that the final decree date is what matters. I've got my certified copies of both the marriage certificate and divorce decree ready to go. I'll try that Claimyr service to actually reach someone at SSA and confirm everything for my specific case. Really appreciate all the advice!
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