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How does Social Security calculate 10-year marriage duration for ex-spouse benefits when separation and divorce are years apart?

I'm trying to figure out exactly how Social Security calculates the 10-year marriage requirement for collecting on an ex-spouse's record. My situation is complicated - we separated after 7 years of marriage but the divorce wasn't finalized until almost 4 years later due to legal delays and property disputes. Does Social Security count from the date we got married to the date the divorce was FINAL (which would put me over 10 years), or do they not count the separation period? I'm turning 62 next year and trying to figure out if I qualify for the ex-spouse benefit since his earnings were much higher than mine. My own benefit would only be about $1,300/month, but claiming on his record would give me around $1,800. The SSA website just says "married for at least 10 years" but doesn't specify how they handle lengthy separations before the divorce is finalized.

Miguel Castro

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Social Security only looks at the legal dates - when you got married and when the divorce was FINALIZED. The separation period in between doesn't matter at all to them. So if your marriage certificate shows 2008 and your divorce decree shows 2019, that's 11 years as far as SSA is concerned, even if you were separated for 4 of those years. They don't look at actual cohabitation or separation, just the legal documentation dates.

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Ava Williams

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Thank you so much! That's a huge relief. So they literally just look at the dates on the legal documents? My lawyer had mentioned something about possible complications with the separation, so I was getting worried.

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Zainab Ibrahim

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I went through something similar. You're 100% fine! SSA doesn't care about separated vs. living together - ONLY the legal marriage start and end dates. Print out your marriage certificate and final divorce decree showing those dates and you're set. When I applied, they didn't even ask about separations. Just make sure the divorce is actually finalized though - legal separation documents aren't the same as a divorce decree.

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Ava Williams

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That's really helpful to know! I do have the final divorce decree, and you're right - it was almost 11 years after our wedding date. Did you have to provide any other documentation when you applied?

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Connor O'Neill

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my cousin thought she had 10 years too but SSA counted differently somehow and she got denied!!! be super careful with this!!

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Miguel Castro

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That's likely because they count exact dates, not just years. If someone got married June 15, 2010 and divorced June 10, 2020, that's 5 days short of 10 years, even though it looks like 10 years. They're very precise about this requirement.

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LunarEclipse

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Just to add some clarity - SSA calculates the marriage duration from the date of the marriage ceremony to the date the divorce becomes final according to state law. This is DIFFERENT from a legal separation, which doesn't end a marriage. As long as your divorce wasn't final until after the 10-year mark, you qualify. Also, remember that even though you qualify for ex-spouse benefits, you'll only receive the higher of either your own benefit or the spousal benefit (50% of your ex's full retirement amount). And if you apply before your full retirement age (probably 67 for you), those benefits will be permanently reduced.

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Ava Williams

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That's a good point about the reduction. I was thinking about claiming at 62, but maybe I should wait. Do you know if there's any way to estimate exactly how much the reduction would be if I claim early vs. waiting until my FRA?

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Yara Khalil

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Does your ex know you're applying based on his record? My friend tried this and her ex-husband called SSA trying to stop it lol

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Miguel Castro

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The ex doesn't need to know and can't stop it. SSA doesn't notify the ex-spouse when someone claims on their record, and it doesn't affect the ex's benefits at all. Your friend's ex-husband was wasting his time calling!

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Keisha Brown

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I tried for WEEKS to get through to SSA about a similar ex-spouse benefits question. Kept getting disconnected or waiting for hours. Finally used a service called Claimyr (claimyr.com) that got me connected to an actual SSA rep in less than 20 minutes. They have a video showing how it works: https://youtu.be/Z-BRbJw3puU - saved me so much frustration! The agent was able to confirm my eligibility based on my marriage dates and answer all my specific questions.

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Ava Williams

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Thank you for the tip! I've been dreading calling them because I've heard the wait times are horrible. I'll definitely check out that service if I need to call instead of just applying online.

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Paolo Esposito

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BE CAREFUL!!!!! I had almost EXACTLY your situation (separated for 3 years, divorce final after 10.5 years total) and they made me provide PROOF of the marriage AND divorce dates with the actual certificates. Don't just go by what everyone says online. They're super strict about this 10 year rule!!!!!

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LunarEclipse

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That's standard procedure - they always require documentation of marriage and divorce dates. But once you provide those documents showing the marriage lasted 10+ years, you should be approved if you meet the other eligibility criteria.

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Connor O'Neill

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what about if your kinda separated but still married? my friend is getting ss now but shes been separated 20 years but never got divorced lol

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Miguel Castro

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That's different - if they're still legally married (even if separated for decades), she can claim spousal benefits when eligible. No 10-year requirement applies because they never divorced.

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Zainab Ibrahim

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One more tip - I learned this the hard way. If you're going to collect on an ex-spouse's record, make sure you specifically mention this when you apply. I assumed SSA would automatically check all my options, but they don't always do that. I had to go back and specifically request they check my eligibility for ex-spouse benefits, which delayed my payments by months.

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Ava Williams

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That's such important advice - thank you! I definitely would have assumed they automatically check everything. I'll make sure to specifically ask about the ex-spouse benefits when I apply.

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