How does the 10-year marriage rule affect Social Security benefits after divorce?

The 10-year marriage rule is definitely correct - you must have been married for at least 10 years to qualify for ex-spouse benefits. Since you were married for 12 years, you meet that requirement. As for the 2-year waiting period, that only applies if your ex-spouse hasn't filed for their own benefits yet. Since your ex is already collecting, you don't need to wait the 2 years. You can apply for spousal benefits on his record when you're eligible (generally at 62, though reduced benefits). Just remember that if you remarry, you'll lose eligibility for ex-spouse benefits unless that subsequent marriage also ends.

If you take ex-spouse benefits at 62, they will be permanently reduced to about 32.5% of your ex's full retirement amount instead of the 50% you'd get at your full retirement age (which is likely 67 for someone who's 58 now). Also important: If you've worked enough on your own record, Social Security will pay your own retirement benefit first, and then supplement it with the ex-spouse benefit only if that would result in a higher total payment. They don't let you collect both full amounts.

This 2 year waiting rule confused me too! I was married 24 years but SSA made me wait 2 years after divorce to get my ex's social security. So frustrating!

You also need to know that if you're still working while collecting any Social Security before your full retirement age, you'll be subject to the earnings limit! In 2025, if you earn over $22,500, they'll deduct $1 from your benefit for every $2 you earn above that limit. I got a NASTY surprise last year when I had to pay back some of my benefits because I didn't understand this rule!

Waiting until your full retirement age is usually better if you're still working and making decent money. The earnings limit goes away completely once you reach full retirement age. By the way, if you need to talk to someone at Social Security about your specific situation, good luck getting through on their 800 number! I tried for WEEKS. Finally used a service called Claimyr (claimyr.com) that got me connected to an agent in about 20 minutes. They have a video showing how it works: https://youtu.be/Z-BRbJw3puU - saved me hours of frustration when I needed clarification on my ex-spouse benefits.

THE 10-YEAR RULE IS ABSOLUTE!!!!!! If anyone tells you different they are WRONG. I was married 9 years and 10 months and Social Security denied me. Even though we were together 12 years (lived together before marriage). THEY DO NOT CARE. It's 10 years of LEGAL marriage or NOTHING. The system is so unfair.

I tried appealing but they wouldn't budge. The rep actually suggested I try to find my ex and convince him to REMARRY me for a couple months to hit the 10-year mark! AS IF! After what he put me through! These rules were created in the 1930s when women didn't work. They need to update this system!!

One other important thing to know - you need to be unmarried when you apply for ex-spouse benefits. If you remarry, you generally can't collect on a former spouse's record unless your later marriage ends by death, divorce, or annulment. Also, claiming on your ex's record has no effect on what they receive. Some people worry about this, but your ex will never even know you've applied for benefits on their record.