Do multiple marriages to same person count toward Social Security's 10-year requirement?
I'm trying to figure out if I qualify for ex-spouse Social Security benefits and have a confusing situation. My former husband and I were married for 6 years before divorcing in 2008. We reconciled and remarried in 2010, then divorced again in 2015 (so that second marriage lasted about 5 years). Altogether that's 11 years of marriage to the same person, but with a gap. Does Social Security combine the years from both marriages when determining if I meet the 10-year requirement for ex-spouse benefits? Or do they only count the longest single marriage? My ex makes WAY more than I do, so this would really help my retirement planning. I've tried calling SSA three times but keep getting disconnected!
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Mei Chen
Unfortunately, Social Security does NOT combine your marriage periods when determining eligibility for divorced spouse benefits. Each marriage needs to have lasted at least 10 years on its own to qualify. Since your longest marriage was only 6 years, you wouldn't meet the requirement based on what you've shared. This is a common misconception, but the 10-year duration must be from a single continuous marriage.
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Jamal Harris
•That's so frustrating! We were married to the same person for a total of 11 years, just with a break in between. Is there ANY exception to this rule? I'm going to have to work until I'm 80 at this rate.
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Liam Sullivan
my sister had almost the same situation and SSA told her no way. the 10 yrs has to be one continuous marriage, they don't add them together. really stinks because she was like 9.5 years in one marriage!!
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Amara Okafor
•Same happened with my cousin!!! She was like 2 MONTHS short of 10 years when they divorced and SSA wouldn't budge. System is so unfair!!!
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CosmicCommander
There's actually one small possibility - if your divorce decree from the first marriage wasn't finalized before you remarried, it might count as one continuous marriage. Worth checking the exact dates on your paperwork. Also, if you're eligible for retirement benefits on your own record, you should still file for those even if you can't get the ex-spouse benefits. Have you checked your own estimated benefit amount on the SSA website?
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Jamal Harris
•That's an interesting point about the divorce decree! I need to double-check those documents. There was definitely some overlap in the proceedings. And yes, I can get benefits on my own record but they're much smaller - I was a stay-at-home mom for several years and then worked part-time jobs that didn't contribute much to Social Security.
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Giovanni Colombo
I went through something similar trying to figure out if I qualified for my ex's benefits. Spent weeks trying to get through to someone at Social Security who could give me a straight answer. I finally used a service called Claimyr (claimyr.com) that got me connected to an actual SSA agent in about 20 minutes instead of waiting on hold for hours or getting disconnected. They have a video showing how it works: https://youtu.be/Z-BRbJw3puU. The agent was able to check my specific situation and confirm exactly what I qualified for. Might save you some frustration!
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Jamal Harris
•Thank you for suggesting this! I'm going to check it out because I'm tired of getting disconnected. I really need to speak with someone who can look at my specific situation, especially now that I need to verify those divorce/remarriage dates more carefully.
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Fatima Al-Qasimi
THE WHOLE SYSTEM IS RIGGED AGAINST WOMEN!!! This 10-year rule is ARBITRARY and UNFAIR!! My friend was married for 26 YEARS, raised 4 kids while her husband worked, but because they weren't LEGALLY married (common law) she gets NOTHING from his Social Security!!! Meanwhile people who never worked a day in their lives get SSI!!!!
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Dylan Cooper
•I think you're confusing SSI with retirement benefits. SSI is for disabled people with limited income and resources. Totally different program with different eligibility requirements. But I do agree the 10-year marriage rule can be tough in some situations.
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Liam Sullivan
Have you considered going back to your ex and asking to get remarried just long enough to hit the 10 yr mark? My aunt did this! They got remarried, waited till they hit exactly 10 years then divorced again! They both knew it was just for the benefits lol
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Mei Chen
•This is actually considered fraud if the marriage is entered into solely for the purpose of obtaining benefits. SSA can investigate suspicious patterns like this, and if they determine the marriage wasn't genuine, they can deny benefits and potentially pursue penalties. Please be very careful with this type of advice.
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CosmicCommander
Just to clarify an important point for everyone in this thread - even if you do qualify for ex-spouse benefits by meeting the 10-year marriage requirement, you don't get both your own benefit AND your ex's benefit. Social Security will pay your own retirement benefit first, and if the ex-spouse benefit would be higher, you get the difference added to reach that higher amount. Also, claiming on an ex's record doesn't reduce their benefit or affect any benefit their current spouse might receive.
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Jamal Harris
•Thank you for explaining that! I think I understand how it works now. Since my own benefit would be around $1,200/month and my ex's would be closer to $2,800, I'd potentially get my $1,200 plus the difference to equal about 50% of his... if only I met that 10-year rule. Sigh.
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Amara Okafor
what about if you were married THREE times to the same person?? asking for a friend lol
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Liam Sullivan
•😂😂 Sounds like a sitcom plot! But seriously, same rules would apply - each marriage on its own needs to be 10 years.
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Dylan Cooper
I've been dealing with Social Security for 30+ years (former paralegal specializing in elder law), and I can confirm what others have said - they don't combine marriage periods. However, I would recommend you get an in-person appointment at your local SSA office with all your marriage and divorce documentation. Sometimes there are unusual circumstances with divorce timing, ceremonial vs. legal marriage dates, etc. that might work in your favor. Worth having them review your specific situation rather than just accepting the general rule.
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Jamal Harris
•Thank you for this advice. I'm definitely going to try to get an in-person appointment to have them review all my documentation. There was some weird timing with the divorce/remarriage that might make a difference.
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