Confused about ex-spouse Social Security benefits - can I take mine early and switch later?

The rules changed back in 2015 with the Bipartisan Budget Act. Unfortunately, you can no longer take your own benefit first and then switch to the higher ex-spouse benefit later. Now when you file, you're deemed to be filing for all benefits you're eligible for, and you'll receive whichever amount is higher. As for the earnings test, for 2025 the limit is actually around $23,560 if you're under your Full Retirement Age (FRA). If you earn over that amount, SSA will withhold $1 for every $2 you earn above the limit. Once you reach your FRA, there's no earnings limit.

I had this EXACT same situation last year! What a headache trying to figure it all out. Divorced after 22 years and trying to maximize my benefits. I found out that if you wait until your Full Retirement Age, you can get 50% of your ex's benefit (if it's higher than yours). But if you take it early, it gets reduced permanently. And yes, that earnings limit is brutal - they took back a bunch of my benefits when I made too much at my part-time job. I ended up using this service called Claimyr (claimyr.com) to actually get through to a real SSA agent to discuss my options. Their video demo at https://youtu.be/Z-BRbJw3puU shows how it works. Saved me HOURS of being on hold. The agent explained everything about the ex-spouse benefits that the website never made clear!

The system is DELIBERATELY CONFUSING!! They don't want to pay what we're owed! I was married 19 years and when I applied for my ex-husband's benefits the SSA employee told me THREE DIFFERENT ANSWERS in the same appointment! How are we supposed to plan when they can't even get their story straight?? And that earnings limit is a JOKE. They penalize us for trying to work? I lost half my benefits last year because I had to pick up extra shifts when my rent went up. The whole system is designed to keep us confused and underpaid!!

my sister went thru this and jst took her ex husbands, it was way better than hers. she waited till 67 tho so she got the full amount. i think its like 50% of his? but she said if she took it at 62 it woulda been like 35% or something. the age thing makes a huge difference

Random question but does anyone know if it matters if your ex has remarried? My ex got remarried almost immediately after our divorce was finalized (we were married 22 years) and I'm wondering if that affects my ability to claim on his record? Sorry to hijack the thread but it seems like a similar situation to what you're going through.

Let me clarify a few things that might help your decision-making: 1) If you take ANY benefit before your Full Retirement Age (FRA), it will be permanently reduced. At 62, your own benefit would be reduced by about 30% permanently. 2) For ex-spouse benefits, if you claim before your FRA, you'll receive the higher of either your reduced benefit or a reduced portion of your ex's benefit. 3) The earnings test for 2025 is $23,560 if you're under FRA for the full year. If you earn more, SSA withholds $1 for every $2 above the limit. This isn't a penalty - they adjust your benefit later at FRA. 4) If you're still working and earning good income, it might be financially advantageous to wait until your FRA (66-67 depending on birth year) to claim any benefits. This maximizes both your own benefit and potential ex-spouse benefit. For your specific situation, I'd recommend making an appointment with SSA to compare actual benefit amounts before deciding. They can tell you exactly what you'd receive at different ages.

im confused about something... when they say your "full retirement age" what age is that exactly?? is it 65 or 67 or what? and does that affect when i can get my exs benefits vs my own??

anyone kno if you have to be divorced for a certain time before claiming? my divorce was final last yr after 18 yrs married

I'm in a very similar situation - divorced after 20 years and trying to navigate these benefit options. From what I've learned through my own research and talking to SSA, here are a few key points that might help: The "deemed filing" rule that Kristian mentioned is crucial - you can't game the system by taking your smaller benefit first anymore. When you file, you're automatically filing for the highest benefit you're eligible for. One thing I discovered that wasn't mentioned yet: if you're currently unmarried and your ex-spouse hasn't started collecting their benefits yet, you might need to wait 2 years from your divorce date before you can claim on their record (unless they're already collecting). Also, I found it helpful to create a Social Security account online at ssa.gov to see your estimated benefits at different ages. It shows both your own benefit estimates and mentions if you might be eligible for higher benefits on someone else's record. The earnings test can be tricky if you're still working, but as Luis pointed out, it's more of a deferral than a penalty. Still, if you're earning significantly more than the limit, it might make sense to delay claiming until you reduce your work hours or reach FRA. Have you considered getting a personalized benefit estimate from SSA that shows exactly what you'd receive at 62 vs your FRA? That comparison might make your decision clearer.

I went through this exact situation about 3 years ago after a 25-year marriage ended in divorce. The most important thing I learned is to get your actual benefit estimates in writing from SSA before making any decisions - don't rely on online calculators or general advice. Here's what worked for me: I made an appointment at my local SSA office and brought all my documentation (divorce decree, marriage certificate, ex-spouse's SSN if you have it). The agent was able to pull up both my record and my ex-husband's record and show me exactly what I'd receive at different claiming ages. In my case, waiting until my FRA (66 and 8 months) to claim the ex-spouse benefit was worth about $400 more per month than taking it at 62. Since I was still working part-time, the earnings test would have reduced my early benefits anyway. One tip: if you're planning to keep working, calculate whether your continued earnings might increase your own benefit enough to eventually exceed the ex-spouse benefit. SSA can project this for you during your appointment. The whole process was much less intimidating once I had the actual numbers in front of me. Don't let the complexity paralyze you - get the facts and then you can make an informed decision!

I'm going through something very similar after my 21-year marriage ended last year. The timing aspect is really tricky - I keep going back and forth between wanting some income now versus maximizing my benefits later. One thing that's helped me is thinking about it in terms of total lifetime benefits rather than just monthly amounts. If you're in good health and expect to live into your 80s or 90s, the higher monthly payments from waiting until FRA can really add up over time, even though you're giving up several years of smaller payments. I'm currently leaning toward working part-time until my FRA and then claiming the higher benefit. The earnings limit makes it less attractive to claim early if you're still earning decent money anyway. Have you been able to estimate what your ex-husband's benefit amount might be? That could help you figure out whether the 50% ex-spouse benefit would actually be significantly higher than your own. Sometimes the difference isn't as big as we think it will be. The waiting is hard when you're feeling financially stressed, but everyone I've talked to who waited says they're glad they did. Just wanted to offer some solidarity from someone in a very similar boat!

I'm in a somewhat similar situation after my 19-year marriage ended, though I'm still a few years away from being eligible to claim. Reading through everyone's experiences here has been incredibly helpful - thank you all for sharing such detailed information! One thing I wanted to add that might be useful: I recently attended a Social Security workshop at my local senior center, and the presenter mentioned that you can actually get benefit estimates for different scenarios by calling SSA and asking for a "what if" analysis. They can supposedly show you projections for claiming at different ages, with different work scenarios, etc. The workshop leader also emphasized something that several people have touched on here - that the decision isn't just about maximizing monthly benefits, but about your overall financial situation, health, family longevity, and other income sources. She suggested creating a simple spreadsheet comparing total benefits received over different time periods (like ages 62-80, 62-85, etc.) to help visualize the crossover points. @Eva St. Cyr, given all the great advice you've received here, it sounds like your next step should definitely be that SSA appointment with all your documents. The real numbers will probably make your decision much clearer than all this speculation! Has anyone here had experience with the SSA's online retirement estimator tool? I'm curious how accurate those projections tend to be compared to what you get when you speak with an actual agent.

I want to echo what several others have said about getting an in-person appointment with SSA - it really is the best way to get clarity on your specific situation. I went through this decision process about two years ago after a 24-year marriage, and I was just as confused as you are now. One thing that really helped me was preparing specific questions before my SSA appointment. I wrote down things like: "What would I receive monthly at age 62 vs FRA for both my own benefit and ex-spouse benefit?" and "How would continuing to work at my current salary affect each scenario?" Having concrete questions helped the agent give me much more useful information. Also, don't feel bad about being overwhelmed by the SSA website - it really is confusing! The agents are much better at explaining things in plain English. In my case, I discovered that working a few more years would actually boost my own benefit enough that the difference between my benefit and the ex-spouse benefit wasn't as dramatic as I'd assumed. The earnings test is definitely something to factor in if you're planning to keep working. Even though they adjust for it later, having benefits withheld in the short term can create cash flow issues if you're counting on that income. One last tip: bring a notebook to your SSA appointment and don't be afraid to ask them to repeat or clarify anything. There's a lot of information to absorb, and you want to make sure you understand all your options before deciding. Good luck!

I'm a newcomer to this community but have been following this discussion closely as I'm facing a very similar situation. After reading through all these helpful responses, I wanted to share what I've learned from my own research and thank everyone for the valuable insights. I've been divorced for 3 years after a 26-year marriage, and like many of you, I was initially confused about the strategy of taking benefits early vs. waiting. What really struck me from this conversation is how important it is to get personalized estimates rather than trying to figure it out from general rules. I actually called SSA last week using that Claimyr service someone mentioned earlier - it really did help me get through to an agent faster than calling directly. The agent explained that in my case, continuing to work for a few more years would actually increase my own benefit substantially due to those being some of my highest earning years. For anyone still working through this decision, I'd especially echo the advice about preparing specific questions for your SSA appointment. I wrote down things like "What's the break-even age for taking benefits at 62 vs. FRA?" and "How do my projected future earnings affect my benefit calculation?" One thing I learned that wasn't mentioned here: if you're divorced but your ex-spouse hasn't filed for their benefits yet, you can still potentially claim on their record if you've been divorced for at least 2 years. This "independently entitled" status means you don't have to wait for them to file first. Thanks to everyone who shared their experiences - it's really helpful to hear from people who've actually navigated this process successfully!

As someone who just went through this exact decision process last year after a 20-year marriage, I wanted to add a few practical tips that really helped me navigate the complexity. First, I'd strongly recommend requesting a formal benefit estimate letter from SSA rather than relying solely on the online tools. The letter will show your projected benefits at different claiming ages and can be referenced during your decision-making process without having to remember everything from a phone call. Second, consider the tax implications of your decision. Social Security benefits can be taxable depending on your other income sources, and this might factor into whether it makes sense to delay claiming while you're still working at higher income levels. One thing that surprised me was learning that if you're still working and earning credits, your benefit calculation gets updated annually. So even if you start claiming, continued work could potentially increase your monthly payment in future years (though this doesn't apply to ex-spouse benefits, which are fixed at 50% of your ex's benefit). I also found it helpful to think about worst-case scenarios - what if you became unable to work sooner than expected? What if there were changes to Social Security in the future? While we can't predict everything, having a backup plan gave me more confidence in my decision. The earnings test really is more of a deferral than a penalty as others mentioned, but the cash flow impact is real if you're counting on that income month-to-month. Just something to factor into your planning. Hope this helps add to the great advice already shared here!

I'm new to this community but have been following this discussion with great interest as I'm in a remarkably similar situation - divorced after a 25-year marriage and trying to navigate these benefit decisions. What really stands out to me from reading through everyone's experiences is how much the individual circumstances matter. It seems like there's no one-size-fits-all answer, which is both frustrating and reassuring at the same time. I wanted to add one consideration that I don't think has been mentioned yet: the impact of inflation on your decision timeline. If you're looking at waiting several years to claim benefits, it's worth factoring in how inflation might affect your current expenses and income needs during that waiting period. Sometimes the "optimal" mathematical decision on paper doesn't account for real-world financial pressures. Also, for anyone still researching this topic, I found the AARP Social Security benefits calculator to be pretty helpful as a starting point, though as others have emphasized, nothing beats getting your actual numbers from SSA directly. @Eva St. Cyr, I hope you're feeling more confident about your next steps after all this great advice. The consensus seems clear that an SSA appointment with all your documentation is the way to go. I'm planning to do the same thing myself after seeing how helpful it was for others here. Thank you to everyone who shared their experiences so openly - this kind of real-world advice is exactly what those of us facing these decisions need to hear!

As someone who navigated this exact situation two years ago after a 22-year marriage, I completely understand your confusion and overwhelm - the SSA system really is incredibly complex to figure out on your own! One thing that helped me tremendously was creating a simple timeline comparing my options. I mapped out what I'd receive monthly at different claiming ages (62, FRA, 70) for both my own benefit and the ex-spouse benefit, then calculated the cumulative amounts I'd receive by ages 75, 80, and 85. This visual really helped me see the trade-offs more clearly. In my case, I discovered that while claiming at 62 would give me immediate income, the reduction was so significant that I'd need to live past 79 just to break even compared to waiting until my FRA. Since I'm in good health and have longevity in my family, waiting made more financial sense. The earnings test was definitely a factor for me too since I was still working. What I learned is that if you're earning significantly above the limit ($23,560 for 2025), you might end up with very little actual benefit after the withholdings, making early claiming less attractive anyway. One practical tip: when you make your SSA appointment, ask them to print out the benefit comparison sheets for you. Having those numbers on paper made it so much easier to review my options at home without the pressure of making an immediate decision. The hardest part is accepting that there's no "perfect" choice - just the choice that best fits your individual circumstances. Good luck with your decision!

I'm new to this community but found this discussion incredibly valuable as I'm facing a very similar situation after my 24-year marriage ended. Reading through everyone's experiences has been so helpful! One thing I wanted to add that might be useful for anyone still researching: I recently discovered that some local libraries offer free AARP tax preparation services and Social Security counseling sessions during tax season. The volunteer counselor I spoke with was extremely knowledgeable about ex-spouse benefits and helped me understand some of the nuances that even the SSA website doesn't explain clearly. She mentioned that many people don't realize you can actually do a "practice run" with SSA - meaning you can file an application and then withdraw it within 12 months if you change your mind (though you can only do this once). Obviously this isn't something to take lightly, but it's good to know the option exists if you're really uncertain about timing. @Eva St. Cyr, after reading all the excellent advice here, it sounds like you have a really solid plan for moving forward with that SSA appointment. The preparation tips everyone shared about bringing documentation and specific questions will definitely serve you well. I'm planning to follow the same approach myself - this thread has been like a masterclass in Social Security planning! Thank you to everyone who shared their experiences so generously. It's amazing how much clearer these complex decisions become when you hear from people who've actually navigated them successfully.