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Declan Ramirez

Can I get survivor benefits from second husband after short marriage while keeping SSDI? Remarriage questions!

Hi everyone, I have a complicated situation with Social Security and really need help figuring out my options. I'm 60 years old currently receiving SSDI benefits with Medicare and Medicaid. My first marriage lasted 28 years before we divorced. Then I remarried and that marriage lasted only 4.5 years before we divorced. Here's where it gets tricky - my second ex-husband passed away just ONE WEEK after our divorce was finalized! Now I'm trying to understand: 1) Am I eligible for survivor benefits from my second husband despite our short marriage? 2) If I can get survivor benefits, would I lose any potential benefits from my first marriage (which was much longer)? 3) What happens to all my benefits if I decide to remarry now? Would I lose SSDI or survivor options? I'm really confused about all these overlapping rules and what makes the most financial sense for my situation. Thank you so much for any help!

You have a few options here. First, yes, you potentially qualify for survivor benefits from your second husband despite the short marriage because you're over 60 and disabled. The 10-year marriage rule applies to divorced spouse benefits, but for widow(er) benefits, you only need to have been married 9 months (with some exceptions). However, since your marriage ended in divorce, this gets complicated. The fact that he died just one week after the divorce could matter - SSA might consider special circumstances. As for your first marriage, those potential divorced spouse benefits remain an option (since it was over 10 years), but you can only receive one benefit - whichever is higher. If you remarry now (after 60), you can still collect widow's benefits from either ex-spouse. But definitely talk to SSA directly about your specific situation - this is pretty complex.

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Thank you so much for this information! I had no idea the 9-month rule applied to widow benefits but that makes sense. I'm still confused about the fact we were divorced when he died - does that make me ineligible? And will survivor benefits be higher than my current SSDI? I'm getting about $1,875/month now from SSDI.

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im in a kinda similar spot and was told by ssa that if ur divorced when they die u DONT qualify for survivor benefits no matter how long the marraige was. but maybe check with them directly bc ur disability might change things. good luck!

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Oh no, that's disappointing to hear! I was really hoping there might be some exception since it was literally just one week after the divorce was finalized. I'll definitely need to check with SSA directly.

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The previous replies are confusing things a bit. Since you were DIVORCED when your second husband died, you would NOT qualify for widow's benefits from him, regardless of how soon after the divorce he passed away. The 9-month marriage duration rule only applies if you were still married at the time of death. For your first husband, you could potentially claim divorced spouse benefits when you reach FRA since that marriage lasted over 10 years, but ONLY if those benefits would be higher than your current SSDI. If you remarry now, you would still keep your SSDI (disability isn't affected by marriage), but you would lose potential divorced spouse benefits from your first marriage until/unless that new marriage ends.

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Thank you for clarifying. That's really disappointing about my second husband, but it makes sense. So basically my choices are: 1) Stay single and keep SSDI now, then possibly switch to higher divorced spouse benefits from 1st husband when I reach retirement age, or 2) Remarry and just keep my SSDI permanently. Is that right?

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my cousin went thru something like this and there ARE exceptions!! if the divorce was because of abuse or some other special circumstances the SSA might still consider you eligible!! worth asking them directly!!

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While there are some exceptions to the rules, they're extremely specific and rare. Generally, being divorced at the time of death disqualifies you from survivor benefits unless you meet very particular circumstances (like the divorce wasn't final, was obtained fraudulently, etc). It's important not to give false hope in these situations - the rules around divorce and death are fairly strict.

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I went through HELL trying to sort out a similar situation with SSA last year. Called literally 30+ times over 2 months, constant disconnections, agents giving me different answers each time. My advice? Use Claimyr.com to get through to SSA quickly. They helped me skip the wait and get a real person on the line who actually knew the rules. Their video shows how it works: https://youtu.be/Z-BRbJw3puU For your specific situation: being divorced at time of death usually means no survivor benefits from that person (some rare exceptions exist). Your SSDI continues regardless of marital status, and you can potentially claim on your first ex-spouse's record at retirement age. But seriously - get a concrete answer from SSA directly since your case has unusual timing aspects.

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Thank you for the suggestion! I tried calling SSA twice this week and got disconnected both times after waiting forever. I'll check out that service because I definitely need to speak with someone who can look at my specific details. The timing of everything makes this so complicated.

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My understanding is once your divorced nobody gets nothing after their ex spouse dies!!!!! Thats why people stay married even when miserable cause at least they get benefits when spouse dies. Wish I had better news but SSA doesnt care about us!!

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This isn't entirely accurate. If you were married 10+ years and don't remarry before age 60, you CAN receive divorced spouse survivor benefits. The rules are different for divorced spouse benefits versus surviving divorced spouse benefits. For regular divorced spouse benefits (while ex is alive), you need 10+ years of marriage and to be unmarried. For surviving divorced spouse benefits, you need 10+ years of marriage but can remarry after 60 without losing eligibility.

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Let me clarify the rules that apply in your specific situation: 1) Survivor benefits from 2nd husband: Unfortunately, since you were legally divorced when he passed away, you don't qualify for survivor benefits from him regardless of how shortly after the divorce he died. The law is very specific that you must be married at the time of death (or meet very rare exceptions). 2) Benefits from 1st husband: Since your first marriage lasted over 10 years, you qualify for divorced spouse benefits when you reach full retirement age (FRA). However, you would only switch to these if they're higher than your SSDI. 3) Remarriage: If you remarry now, your SSDI benefits continue unchanged, but you would lose potential divorced spouse benefits from your first husband. After age 60, remarriage doesn't affect survivor benefits, but since you don't qualify for those in this case, it's not relevant. My recommendation: Schedule an appointment with SSA to review your projected benefit amounts. This will help you understand whether your SSDI is higher or lower than potential divorced spouse benefits from your first husband, which impacts whether remarriage would affect your financial situation.

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Thank you so much for this clear explanation. It sounds like I need to find out if my divorced spouse benefits from my first husband would be higher than my current SSDI, and that will help me decide whether remarriage makes financial sense. I'll definitely schedule that appointment with SSA.

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wait i just remembered something important - if ur getting SSDI now, when u hit full retirement age it automatically converts to regular retirement benefits at the same amount. so u need to check if ur ex-husbands benefit would give u more than ur current SSDI payment!

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This is an important point! When you reach full retirement age, SSDI automatically converts to retirement benefits at the same amount. At that time, you should check if claiming on your ex-spouse's record would give you a higher benefit. You'd be entitled to up to 50% of his full benefit amount if that's higher than your own benefit. The key is to find out these amounts from SSA so you can make an informed decision.

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I think everyone's missing an important point here. At 60, you're already eligible to claim REDUCED survivor benefits if you qualified for them (which you don't in this case because of the divorce). But when you reach 62, you become eligible for reduced divorced spouse benefits from your first husband while continuing to receive your SSDI. That's because the rule changed a few years ago - you can now receive both SSDI and reduced divorced spouse benefits at the same time if you're at least 62 but below FRA. This is called the 'deemed filing rule exception' for disabled beneficiaries.

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This isn't quite right. If you're receiving SSDI, you cannot simultaneously receive divorced spouse benefits while keeping your full SSDI. What happens is that you receive your SSDI amount plus the difference between that and the divorced spouse benefit if the latter is higher. You don't get both in full. At FRA, you'll automatically be switched to whichever benefit is higher - your own retirement (converted from SSDI) or the divorced spouse benefit.

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Just to address your last question: If you decide to remarry now, you will definitely continue receiving your SSDI benefits (these are based on your own work record and are not affected by marriage). However, you would give up the potential to claim divorced spouse benefits from your first husband until/unless your new marriage ends. Since you're already 60, if you wait until 62, you could compare your SSDI amount with potential divorced spouse benefits and choose the higher option - but ONLY if you remain unmarried. This is why getting those specific benefit amounts from SSA is so important to your decision-making process.

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Thank you! That makes a lot of sense. I think I'm going to hold off on any wedding plans until I can speak with SSA and get actual benefit amounts. I need to know exactly what I'd be giving up financially if I remarry. This has been incredibly helpful!

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I work for a benefits counseling organization and see cases like yours frequently. Here's what you need to know definitively: 1) **Second husband survivor benefits**: No, you cannot receive survivor benefits from your second ex-husband because you were divorced when he died. The one-week timing doesn't create an exception - the law requires you to be married at time of death. 2) **First husband benefits**: You ARE eligible for divorced spouse benefits from your 28-year marriage starting at age 62 (reduced) or full retirement age (100% of benefit). This could potentially be higher than your current $1,875 SSDI. 3) **Key decision point**: At age 62, you can compare your SSDI with potential divorced spouse benefits and receive whichever is higher. At full retirement age, your SSDI automatically converts to retirement benefits at the same amount. **My strong recommendation**: Before making any remarriage decisions, get your benefit estimates from SSA. Use form SSA-7004 to request a statement showing your ex-husband's benefit amount. If his divorced spouse benefit would be significantly higher than your $1,875, remaining unmarried until you can claim it might be financially advantageous. The financial impact of this decision could be substantial over your lifetime, so definitely get those concrete numbers first!

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This is exactly the kind of professional guidance I was hoping for! Thank you for breaking it down so clearly. I had no idea about form SSA-7004 - that sounds like exactly what I need to get the actual numbers. You're absolutely right that I should know the financial impact before making any major life decisions. I'm going to request that form right away and get those benefit estimates. It's reassuring to hear from someone who works with these cases regularly that there is a clear path forward, even if it means potentially waiting on remarriage plans.

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I'm in a somewhat similar situation and wanted to share what I learned from my SSA appointment last month. Like you, I'm on SSDI and was considering remarriage but needed to understand the financial implications first. The key thing that helped me was getting actual dollar amounts rather than just general rules. When I met with SSA, they were able to pull up my ex-spouse's earnings record and show me exactly what my divorced spouse benefit would be at different ages (62 with reduction vs. full retirement age). In my case, it turned out my SSDI was actually higher than what I'd get from my ex-spouse, so remarriage wouldn't cost me anything financially. One tip: when you call or visit SSA, ask them to run the numbers for both scenarios - your current SSDI converting to retirement benefits vs. potential divorced spouse benefits from your first husband. They can usually do this calculation on the spot if they have both records available. Also, don't forget that if you do decide to remarry later and that marriage ends, you could still potentially claim on your first husband's record at that point since those rights don't disappear permanently. Good luck with getting your answers - I know how stressful this kind of uncertainty can be when you're trying to plan your future!

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Thank you so much for sharing your experience! It's really helpful to hear from someone who actually went through the SSA appointment process for a similar situation. I love that you got the actual dollar amounts - that's exactly what I need to do instead of just trying to guess based on general rules. Your tip about asking them to run both scenarios side-by-side is brilliant. I'm definitely going to do that when I get my appointment scheduled. And you're absolutely right about the stress of not knowing - I've been losing sleep over this decision because there's so much conflicting information out there. It's also reassuring to know that if I do remarry and things don't work out, I wouldn't permanently lose those rights from my first marriage. I hadn't really thought about that aspect. Thanks for taking the time to share your story - it really helps to know I'm not the only one navigating these complicated rules!

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