Can I decline ex-spousal Social Security benefits even if I'm eligible?
I recently filed for my retirement benefits and got a letter saying I might be eligible for additional benefits based on my ex-husband's record. Here's the thing - I absolutely DO NOT want anything connected to him, even if it means getting more money each month. We've been divorced for 12 years and I want nothing to do with him or his earnings. The SSA representative I spoke with seemed confused when I said I wanted to decline the ex-spousal benefits. She kept saying I was 'leaving money on the table' and that I should 'reconsider.' Can I formally decline these benefits? Has anyone successfully told SSA they don't want their ex-spouse benefits? I just want my own Social Security based on my work record and nothing else. Is SSA going to force me to take these benefits?
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Oliver Becker
Yes, you can absolutely decline spousal benefits if you want. You have to specifically tell them you're restricting the scope of your application to ONLY your retirement benefits. I went through something similar - make sure you get this in writing and keep a copy for your records. When I applied, they kept insisting I take the ex-spouse benefits too, but eventually they processed my application the way I wanted when I was firm about it.
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Amina Bah
•Thank you! Did you have to sign any special form to restrict your application? The representative I spoke with made it sound impossible to decline.
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CosmicCowboy
why would you turn down FREE MONEY?? doesn't make any sense to me! your ex doesn't even know you're getting benefits on his record and it doesn't affect his payments AT ALL. seems like cutting off your nose to spite your face but whatever
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Amina Bah
•It's a personal decision and not about the money. I want a complete break from this person - you don't know my situation.
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Natasha Orlova
I understand wanting to be completely independent from your ex - I felt the same way after my divorce. What you need to know is that legally you CAN decline these benefits, but they won't make it easy. The technical term is "restricting the scope of your application." The SSA's default is to pay the highest benefit you're eligible for, which is why they're pushing back. Be prepared to be persistent and get a supervisor involved if needed.
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Amina Bah
•Thank you for understanding and for the advice. I'll specifically ask about "restricting the scope" of my application when I call them back. I appreciate knowing the right terminology!
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Javier Cruz
I tried calling the SSA for WEEKS about a similar issue and couldn't get through. When I finally did the line disconnected after being on hold for 2 hours!! So frustrating. I ended up using Claimyr.com to get a callback from SSA within an hour. They have a video that shows how it works here: https://youtu.be/Z-BRbJw3puU It saved me so much time and stress.
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Amina Bah
•Thanks for the tip. The phone situation with SSA is absolutely ridiculous. If I can't get through next week I'll check this out.
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Emma Thompson
This is actually a bit more complex than most people realize. While you can decline to receive benefits on your ex-spouse's record, it's important to understand what you might be giving up. If your ex-spouse's benefit would result in a higher payment than your own record provides, that additional amount is technically still your legal entitlement. The Social Security rules allow for what's called "deemed filing" which means when you file for one type of benefit (retirement) you're deemed to have filed for all benefits you're eligible for. However, you can specifically request to restrict your application. I would suggest getting this request documented formally. Ask for a letter confirming your request to restrict your application to only retirement benefits on your own record, despite potential eligibility for ex-spousal benefits. Keep this documentation in case there are questions later.
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Amina Bah
•Thank you for the detailed explanation! This makes much more sense than what the rep told me. I'll definitely get something in writing confirming my choice.
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Malik Jackson
When I filed for SS last year they tried the same thing with me about my ex. I told them NO THREE TIMES and they still processed the spousal benefits!!! I was so mad!!! Had to go into the office and spend 2 hours fixing it. They act like you HAVE to take it but you don't! Stand your ground!!!
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Natasha Orlova
•Unfortunately this happens quite often. The SSA systems are designed to automatically calculate and pay the highest benefit available. Representatives need to take specific steps to override this, which is why getting written confirmation of your request is so important.
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Isabella Costa
my sister went thru this exact thing last summer. she didnt want anything from her ex either. she had to talk to three different ppl at ssa before someone knew how to handle it. keep trying until u get someone who knows what there doing.
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Amina Bah
•That's frustrating but good to know I'm not alone in this. I'll keep trying until I find someone who can help properly.
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Natasha Orlova
Just as a follow-up, I checked with a colleague who used to work for SSA. The best approach is to put your request in writing. Write a letter clearly stating: "I wish to restrict the scope of my Social Security retirement application to benefits on my own record only. I am knowingly declining any additional benefits I may be eligible for on my ex-spouse's record." Include your Social Security number, date of birth, and contact information. Send it certified mail to your local office, and also bring a copy if you have an in-person appointment.
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Amina Bah
•This is EXACTLY what I needed! Thank you so much for getting that specific language. I'm going to prepare this letter immediately and send it certified mail as you suggested.
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