Can I claim Social Security benefits from my ex-spouse after 10+ year marriage without contacting them?
I've been divorced for about 6 years now after a 13-year marriage. I never remarried, and honestly, we barely speak anymore. I was poking around the Social Security website today and noticed something about benefits for divorced spouses. But I'm confused - when I tried using their calculator, it seemed to calculate what MY ex would get, not what I might get based on their record. Does anyone know how this works? Am I eligible for anything based on my ex's work record? And the really important question - can I figure this out WITHOUT having to contact my ex? We ended things civilly but it's still awkward. I'm turning 62 next year and trying to understand all my options.
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Ravi Malhotra
u can absolutey get bennefits from your ex! my sister does this. as long as ur married 10+ years and not remaried now u qualify. the SSA doesnt even tell ur ex ur claiming on there record lol
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StarSurfer
•That's a huge relief to hear they don't notify my ex! Do you know if I have to wait until my ex starts collecting their benefits before I can claim?
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Freya Christensen
Yes, you absolutely qualify for ex-spouse benefits based on your former spouse's record as long as: - Your marriage lasted at least 10 years (yours was 13) - You are currently unmarried - You're at least 62 years old (which you will be next year) - Your ex-spouse is entitled to Social Security retirement or disability benefits The benefit you can receive is up to 50% of your ex's full retirement amount if you wait until your full retirement age (FRA). If you claim earlier, the amount will be reduced permanently. Importantly, your ex does NOT need to be collecting benefits already for you to claim on their record, as long as they're eligible (at least 62) and you've been divorced for at least 2 years. You can apply online or call SSA directly. They will NOT contact your ex-spouse about your claim.
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StarSurfer
•Thank you for all this detail! One more question - if my own benefit might be higher than 50% of my ex's, would SSA automatically give me whichever is higher? Or do I need to specifically apply for both?
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Omar Hassan
I was in almost EXACTLY the same situation! Married 12 years, divorced 8 years ago. I tried calling SSA about this and waited on hold for FOUR HOURS before getting disconnected!!! So frustrating!!! When I finally got through a week later, they explained that you get whichever is higher - your own benefit OR the ex-spouse benefit. And they DON'T tell your ex anything about it. But the wait times on their phones are INSANE!!
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Chloe Robinson
•Hey, if you're still dealing with those crazy wait times, I found this service called Claimyr that helped me get through to an SSA agent in like 20 minutes when I was dealing with my own divorce benefit questions. Their site is claimyr.com and they have a video showing how it works: https://youtu.be/Z-BRbJw3puU. Saved me hours of frustration when I was trying to figure out my ex-spouse benefits.
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Omar Hassan
•OMG thank you! I actually need to call them again about something else. Will definitely check this out! Anything to avoid those wait times.
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Diego Chavez
Another important consideration: if you start taking your ex-spouse benefits before your Full Retirement Age (FRA), you'll get a permanently reduced amount. For people turning 62 next year, your FRA is probably around 67. Also, the SSA will automatically give you whichever is higher - your own benefit or the spousal benefit. You don't have to specifically request both. They calculate all benefits you're eligible for and pay the highest one.
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NeonNebula
•Wait that's not entirely right. If the ex-spouse is still working and hasn't filed for benefits yet, you DO have to wait to claim spousal benefits until the 2-year divorce period has passed. If the divorce was less than 2 years ago, you can't claim until your ex starts collecting.
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Diego Chavez
•You're partially correct - but the original poster said they've been divorced for 6 years, so the 2-year waiting period is already satisfied. They CAN claim on the ex's record even if the ex hasn't filed yet, as long as the ex is eligible for benefits (meaning they're at least 62).
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Anastasia Kozlov
I tried doing this and it was a NIGHTMARE. The online system kept glitching when I entered my ex's info. I finally went to the local office and had to bring my marriage certificate AND divorce decree. Make sure you have those documents ready! The SSA rep told me so many people come in without the right paperwork and have to make multiple trips.
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StarSurfer
•Thanks for the tip about the documents! I'll definitely dig those up before I apply. Did you end up getting benefits based on your ex's record?
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Freya Christensen
To answer your follow-up question: Yes, the SSA will automatically calculate both your own benefit and any ex-spouse benefit you qualify for, then pay you whichever is higher. You don't need to apply separately. One more important point: If you're working while collecting these benefits before your FRA, be aware of the earnings limit ($22,320 in 2025). If you earn over that amount, your benefits will be reduced by $1 for every $2 you earn above the limit until you reach your FRA.
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StarSurfer
•This is all so helpful. I'm still working but planning to reduce my hours next year, so I'll keep that earnings limit in mind. It sounds like I should at least apply when I turn 62 and see what they offer me.
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Ravi Malhotra
my neigbor tried getin her exs benefits and said they asked for his social security number... did u guys need to provide that?? my sister didnt mention that part
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Diego Chavez
•If you don't have your ex's SSN, the SSA can usually find it with their full name, date of birth, and place of birth. It makes the process faster if you have the SSN, but it's not absolutely required.
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