Divorced after 10 years - Can I claim Social Security ex-spouse benefits if we've been separated 20+ years?
I've been divorced since 2005 and recently started thinking about retirement. My ex-husband and I were married for just a little over 10 years (10 years and 3 months to be exact). He's always worked good-paying jobs while I've had employment gaps raising our kids and mostly lower-wage positions. Someone at work mentioned I might be eligible for Social Security benefits based on his record even though we've been divorced for 20+ years now? Is this actually true? I'm turning 62 next year and trying to figure out all my options. Would I get notified somehow or do I need to apply? And would he know if I claim on his record? I really don't want any contact with him if possible.
15 comments
Join the conversation
Sarah Ali
Yes! You absolutely qualify for divorced spouse benefits since you were married over 10 years and haven't remarried. You can get up to 50% of his full retirement benefit amount (if you wait until your full retirement age) or less if you claim early. The best part - he NEVER gets notified when you apply for benefits on his record, and it doesn't affect his benefit amount at all. He won't know unless you tell him. You do need to apply though - SSA doesn't automatically notify you of eligibility. You'll need your marriage certificate and divorce decree when you apply.
0 coins
Megan D'Acosta
•Oh wow, that's a relief he won't be notified! Do you know if I can apply online for the divorced spouse benefits or do I have to go into an office? And should I wait until my full retirement age (67) or apply at 62? I'm so confused about when the best time would be.
0 coins
Ryan Vasquez
Just adding on - my sister went thru this exact thing last year!! SSA makes this more complicated than it needs to be. She had to call like 50 times before getting someone helpful on the phone.
0 coins
Sarah Ali
•The phone lines are definitely frustrating. I had to call for weeks before getting through when I was helping my mother with her benefits. Have your sister check out Claimyr.com - they can get you connected to a live Social Security agent usually within 20 minutes instead of waiting on hold for hours. They have a video showing how it works here: https://youtu.be/Z-BRbJw3puU - it saved me so much time when I needed to sort out my retirement application.
0 coins
Avery Saint
Are you sure you qualify?? I thought you had to be at least 62 before you can claim ex-spouse benefits. And doesn't your ex need to be claiming already? The whole system is so frustrating and NOBODY at SSA gives consistent answers!!
0 coins
Taylor Chen
•You're partially right but there's a bit more to it. Yes, she needs to be at least 62 to claim divorced spouse benefits (which she mentioned she'll be next year). However, for divorced spouse benefits specifically, the ex-husband does NOT need to be claiming already - he just needs to be eligible for benefits (so at least 62). That's a special rule that only applies to divorced couples who've been divorced for at least 2 years. And you're absolutely right about the inconsistent information - it's maddening!
0 coins
Keith Davidson
I went through this exact same situation! I got divorced after 11 years of marriage and didn't know I could claim on my ex's record until I was almost 65! I lost out on potential benefits because no one told me. Make sure you contact Social Security BEFORE your birthday next year so you understand all your options. In my case, my own benefit was actually higher than 50% of my ex's, so I ended up claiming my own.
0 coins
Megan D'Acosta
•Thank you for sharing your experience! I'm definitely going to contact them before my birthday. Did you have to provide a lot of documentation? I'm worried because our divorce was in another state and I'm not sure where all the paperwork is...
0 coins
Ezra Bates
my cousin tried to claim on her ex and they denied her even after 15 yrs of marriage. said something about her own benefit being more so she couldn't get both. thats probably what will happen to you too just warning you
0 coins
Ana Erdoğan
•Your cousin received the correct information, but it might have been misunderstood. You don't get BOTH your own benefit AND an ex-spouse benefit - you get whichever is higher. The SSA will calculate both options and give you the higher amount. So if her own benefit was higher than 50% of her ex's, she'd just get her own benefit. This isn't a denial - it's actually the SSA giving her the better deal!
0 coins
Ana Erdoğan
To clarify some key points about divorced spouse benefits under Social Security: 1. You must have been married at least 10 years (which you were) 2. You must be unmarried currently (sounds like you are) 3. You must be at least 62 to apply (which you will be next year) 4. Your ex doesn't need to be collecting benefits yet, but must be eligible 5. You do NOT receive both your benefit plus ex-spouse benefits - SSA gives you whichever is higher Important: If you claim at 62, you'll get a permanently reduced benefit (approximately 30% less than waiting until your Full Retirement Age). The reduction applies whether you're claiming on your record or as a divorced spouse. You should create a my Social Security account online to see your own estimated benefit amount before deciding. That way you can compare your benefit to potentially 50% of his.
0 coins
Megan D'Acosta
•Thank you so much for the clear explanation! I didn't realize I'd get a 30% reduction by claiming at 62 - that's significant. I'll definitely create that online account to check my own benefit amount first. Do you know if they show the potential ex-spouse benefit amount online too, or do I need to call/visit an office to get that information?
0 coins
Avery Saint
WAIT! I just remembered something important - if you're working while collecting Social Security before your full retirement age, they'll REDUCE your benefits if you earn too much! I learned this the hard way and had to pay back some of my benefits. Make sure you check the earnings limit rules before applying!!
0 coins
Sarah Ali
•That's an excellent point! For 2025, if you're under Full Retirement Age, Social Security will deduct $1 from your benefits for every $2 you earn above $22,320 (approximately - they adjust it yearly). It's definitely something to factor into your decision about when to claim benefits.
0 coins
Megan D'Acosta
I just want to thank everyone for all the helpful information! I had no idea about so many of these rules. I'm going to create my Social Security account online today to check my own benefit amount, then I'll call and make an appointment to discuss my options before making any decisions. I'm thinking I might wait until closer to my full retirement age now that I understand the reduction for early filing. Really appreciate all the guidance!
0 coins