Can I claim ex-husband's Social Security after 21 years as stay-at-home mom?

Thank you! This is incredibly helpful. So if my ex hasn't filed for his benefits yet when I reach 67, I can still claim on his record? And does his marital status matter - like if he's remarried?

This is correct about the 10-year requirement, but I want to clarify something important: you don't necessarily get "way more" from an ex-spouse's record. The maximum you can receive is 50% of their full retirement benefit (and only if you wait until your full retirement age). Some people mistakenly believe they get the same amount the ex-spouse receives, which isn't the case.

No contact necessary! Your ex will never even know you've filed on his record - the SSA handles everything, and it doesn't affect his benefits whatsoever. You'll just need his Social Security number, or if you don't have that, SSA can usually locate his record with his date of birth and parents' names.

That's a great point! I think my full retirement age is 67, so I could potentially work another 11 years. If I'm understanding correctly, I can either take my own benefit OR 50% of his, whichever is higher, right?

That's right! SSA will automatically give you whichever is higher - your own benefit or the ex-spouse benefit. And here's a tip: if your own benefit will eventually be higher, you can sometimes claim the ex-spouse benefit first and then switch to your own later after it's had more time to grow.

I had the same frustrating experience trying to get accurate info from SSA about divorced spouse benefits. After weeks of busy signals and disconnections, I found a service called Claimyr (claimyr.com) that got me connected to an SSA agent in under 20 minutes. They have a video showing how it works: https://youtu.be/Z-BRbJw3puU. It was so much better than spending days trying to get through. The agent I finally spoke with was knowledgeable and helped me understand all my options.

Thank u for sharing! Wish I'd known about that when I was calling SSA every day for 2 weeks!! Will remember this if I have future issues.

Thanks for the reality check. My ex was making about $120k when we divorced, so I'll need to be careful about my expectations. $1,300 would still help a lot, but it's good to know I shouldn't count on more than that.

wait seriously?? this is like social security divorce strategy lol never thought of it that way! my mom should've stayed with her 2nd husband 3 more years to hit that 10yr mark!

This is one of the most important financial decisions you'll make. At 62, both your own benefit AND any ex-spouse benefit would be permanently reduced by about 30% compared to waiting until 67. Whether that's "worth it" depends on your health, other income sources, and how long you expect to live. The break-even point is typically around age 80 - if you live longer than that, waiting to claim generally pays off. But if you're really struggling financially now, taking reduced benefits early might be necessary. Have you looked into other programs that might help in the meantime?

That's really helpful context, thank you. I'm in relatively good health, and longevity runs in my family (mom is 88). I might need to find better employment to bridge the gap. I didn't realize the reduction was so significant.

Absolutely right! And to add to this - you might want to look into whether you could increase your earnings somehow, even modestly. A jump from say $20K to $30K per year, maintained for several years, can make a noticeable difference in your eventual benefit calculation. Every dollar of reported earnings helps when it's replacing zeros in the calculation.