Can I collect on ex-husband's Social Security while still working at 65? He's already claiming at 63

Yes, you absolutely can claim ex-spousal benefits while still working! Since you were married over 10 years and have been divorced for more than 2 years, you qualify for ex-spousal benefits regardless of when your ex started collecting. At 65, you'd get approximately 45.8% of his Primary Insurance Amount (PIA). The earnings test would still apply since you're under FRA - with $40k income, some benefits may be withheld, but you'd get credit for those later. The really good news is that claiming ex-spousal now doesn't affect your own retirement benefit - it can continue growing until 70 if you want to maximize it.

This is EXACTLY why the SS system drives me NUTS!! They make these rules so complicated that normal people can't figure them out! I was in almost the same situation and got 3 different answers from 3 different SSA representatives when I called. Then when I finally applied, they calculated it completely wrong and I had to fight for 8 months to get it corrected. Make sure you get EVERYTHING in writing and double-check their math!!!!

Here's what you need to know about the earnings limit: For 2025, if you're under FRA the whole year, SSA will deduct $1 for every $2 you earn above $22,320. At $40k, that's about $17,680 over the limit, so they'd withhold around $8,840 from your annual benefits. But! Those withheld benefits aren't lost forever - they recalculate and give you credit once you reach FRA. Also important: the reduction for claiming early is permanent, but the earnings test withholding is temporary. And yes, your ex-spousal benefit is based on his PIA (what he would get at his FRA), not his reduced benefit amount.

my sister did this exact thing! she started taking her ex's SS at 64 while still working part time and then switched to her own at 70. worked out great for her but every situation is different i guess

I tried reaching SSA for weeks when I was in a similar situation - kept getting disconnected or waiting on hold for hours. Finally used this service called Claimyr (claimyr.com) that got me connected to an actual SSA agent in under 20 minutes. They have a video showing how it works: https://youtu.be/Z-BRbJw3puU. Made a huge difference because I got to talk to someone who could look at my specific record and explain all my options. For something this important, you really need personalized advice from SSA directly.

im confused about something related to this... if someone gets divorced after only 9 years of marriage can they still get any ex spouse benefits at all? asking for my cousin

One more crucial point: Since you're planning to claim your own retirement benefits later (presumably at 70 for maximum value), you need to specifically apply for "restricted application for spousal benefits only." This provision is still available to people born before January 2, 1954. If you were born after that date, the rules are different - you'd automatically get the higher of your own or spousal benefit, which would trigger both and prevent your own benefit from growing. Given your birth year is around 1960 based on your current age, you likely can't use this strategy, but it's worth confirming with SSA.

Since you were born in 1959, you unfortunately don't qualify for the restricted application strategy - that option ended for people born on or after January 2, 1954. When you file for any Social Security benefit now, you're deemed to be filing for all benefits you're eligible for, and you'll receive the higher amount. So in your case, you need to decide: either claim now (and get the higher of your reduced retirement or ex-spousal benefit) OR wait and let your own benefit grow (potentially up to age 70). Given your specific situation with the work history gaps, I'd strongly recommend scheduling an appointment with SSA to run the calculations both ways before deciding.

Thank you all for this incredibly helpful information! I had no idea about the 1954 cutoff date for restricted applications - that really changes my strategy. Based on your advice, I'm going to: 1) Use that Claimyr service to get through to SSA, 2) Ask them to calculate both scenarios (claiming now vs. waiting), and 3) Get everything in writing before making my decision. The earnings test withholding is also something I wasn't fully understanding before. I'll come back and update once I've talked with SSA. You've all been so helpful!