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Oh meant to say, when your husband files at FRA, make sure he specifically mentions the kids' eligibility. Sometimes the claims specialists forget to ask about eligible children, then you have to start the whole process over again. Ask me how I know lol
Just wanted to add from personal experience - when you go to apply for the children's benefits, bring extra copies of all your documents! I made the mistake of only bringing one copy of each and they needed to keep copies for their files. Also, if you can, try to schedule your appointment for first thing in the morning - the wait times are usually shorter then. And don't forget that the benefits will be backdated to when your husband first becomes eligible (his FRA), so there might be a nice lump sum payment when everything gets processed. Good luck with everything!
This is really great practical advice! I never would have thought about bringing extra copies - that's the kind of tip that saves you a trip back to the office. And wow, I didn't realize the benefits could be backdated to his FRA date. That could be a significant amount given that our girls are 14 and will have several years of eligibility left. Do you remember roughly how long the processing took once you submitted everything? I'm hoping we can get this sorted out relatively quickly after he files in July.
Great question about processing times! In my experience, it took about 6-8 weeks from when I submitted the children's applications until we received the first payments. The retroactive lump sum came with that first payment, which was really helpful. One thing to keep in mind - make sure you have the kids' bank accounts set up for direct deposit beforehand, or they'll send paper checks which can delay things even more. Also, the SSA will send you letters confirming the benefit amounts for each child, so keep those for your records. With your girls being 14, you're looking at potentially 4+ years of benefits each, which really does add up for college savings!
All this is so confusing my head hurts tryin to figure out all these rules... no wonder people hire those retirement planners. My neighbor said she paid $3000 for someone to figure all this out for her!!!
I just went through this exact situation with my mom last year! The key thing everyone's saying is correct - the spousal benefit is based on YOUR full PIA ($2,850), not what you're actually receiving. So she'd get her own $1,200 plus a $225 spousal "top-up" for $1,425 total. One thing I'd add is to definitely apply online if possible - it's much faster than trying to call. And make sure when she applies that she specifically mentions she's married and wants to be considered for spousal benefits too. The system should automatically calculate it, but it's better to be explicit. Also, don't stress too much about the timing - as long as she applies within a few months of her FRA, any back payments will be calculated correctly. The hardest part is just understanding how it all works, which sounds like you've got figured out now!
This is really helpful, thank you! I'm feeling much more confident about the process now. The online application tip is great - I was dreading having to call and wait on hold for hours. Quick question though - when you say "within a few months of her FRA," does that mean she can apply a few months before turning 67, or does she need to wait until after her birthday? I want to make sure we don't miss any timing windows that might affect her benefits.
She can actually apply up to 4 months before her 67th birthday! The SSA allows you to apply in advance so your benefits start the month you reach FRA. So if she turns 67 in say June 2025, she could apply as early as February 2025 and her benefits would automatically start in June. This is actually the recommended approach since it gives them time to process everything and ensures there are no delays in getting her first payment. Just make sure when she applies online that she selects the correct month she wants benefits to begin (her FRA month, not the month she's applying).
I'm in a very similar boat as many of you - I'm 64 and have been receiving survivor benefits from my late husband for the past 3 years. I recently started dating someone who's 66 and gets benefits based on his ex-wife's record. We've been talking about marriage but keep putting it off because of all the uncertainty around Social Security. After reading through this entire thread, I think I have a better understanding now. It sounds like I could potentially keep my survivor benefits since I'm close to the age 60 threshold, but my boyfriend would definitely lose his ex-spouse benefits. The suggestion about getting a comprehensive financial analysis from a Social Security specialist really resonates with me - I hadn't thought about looking at taxes, shared living costs, and the long-term picture. Has anyone here used a specific financial advisor or Social Security specialist they'd recommend? I'd love to get a professional analysis before we make any decisions. It's frustrating that the system makes us choose between financial security and marriage, but at least understanding all our options will help us make an informed choice.
I don't have a specific advisor to recommend, but I'd suggest looking for a fee-only financial planner who has credentials in Social Security planning (like an RSSA - Registered Social Security Analyst). You can search for them through the National Association of Personal Financial Advisors (NAPFA) website. Many of these specialists offer one-time consultations specifically for Social Security optimization, which sounds like exactly what you need. I'd also recommend calling your local Area Agency on Aging - they sometimes offer free or low-cost financial counseling services for seniors, and they're familiar with these exact situations since so many older adults face this dilemma.
I'm so grateful to have found this thread! I'm 69 and have been receiving survivor benefits from my late husband for 4 years now. I recently reconnected with an old friend who's 71 and receives benefits based on his ex-wife's record (they were married for 15 years). We've been discussing marriage but were completely confused about the Social Security implications. Reading through everyone's experiences has been eye-opening. It sounds like I should be able to keep my survivor benefits since I'm well over 60, but he would lose his ex-spouse benefits. The advice about consulting with a Social Security specialist is invaluable - I never considered looking at the complete financial picture including taxes, shared expenses, and Medicare costs. I'm definitely going to look into finding an RSSA certified planner as someone suggested. It's heartbreaking that the system forces seniors to choose between love and financial security, but at least now I feel like we can make an informed decision. Thank you all for sharing your stories and advice - it means more than you know when you're facing such a difficult choice!
I'm new to this community but wanted to chime in because my grandparents went through something very similar a few years ago. They were both in their early 70s and facing the exact same dilemma - my grandfather was getting survivor benefits and my step-grandmother was receiving ex-spouse benefits. What really helped them was actually visiting their local SSA office in person rather than trying to handle everything over the phone. The representative was able to pull up both of their records and run scenarios showing exactly what would happen to their benefits if they married. They also got information about potential spousal benefits they might be eligible for on each other's records. In their case, they discovered that while she would lose her ex-spouse benefits, my grandfather could actually claim a higher spousal benefit based on her work record than what he was getting as a survivor. It didn't completely offset the loss, but it made the decision much easier. I'd definitely recommend the in-person visit if you can manage it - the agents seem to have more time and patience to walk through complex situations like yours. Wishing you both the best as you navigate this decision!
One thing to keep in mind is that the earnings limit applies to the year you're under Full Retirement Age, not just when you start collecting benefits. So if you turn 63 in the middle of 2025, the full year's earnings count toward that $22,750 limit. Also, if you do go over, SSA typically sends you a letter asking you to estimate your expected earnings for the year so they can adjust your monthly payments accordingly rather than creating a big overpayment situation. It's much better to be proactive about this!
This is really helpful - I didn't realize the full year's earnings count even if I only start collecting benefits partway through! Being proactive about contacting SSA if I'm going to go over sounds much better than dealing with surprise overpayments later. Thanks for the clarification on how they handle adjusting payments.
Just want to add another important detail - if you're self-employed or have 1099 income, the earnings limit applies to your NET self-employment income (after business expenses), not gross like it is for W-2 wages. So if you do any freelance or consulting work alongside your part-time job, make sure you're calculating that portion correctly! I made this mistake my first year and had to scramble to figure out my actual countable earnings.
Wow, that's a really important distinction I hadn't considered! So for W-2 wages it's gross income, but for self-employment it's net after business expenses? That seems like it could get pretty complicated to track, especially if someone has both types of income like you mentioned. Do you know if there are any good resources or worksheets that help calculate the correct amounts when you have mixed income sources?
Evan Kalinowski
Since you mentioned you're in good health and longevity runs in your family, have you considered the tax implications of your decision? If you claim now while working, more of your SS benefits might be taxable. If you wait until 70, you'll have a higher benefit, but potentially more of it subject to taxation depending on your other income sources in retirement.
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Dominic Green
•That's another aspect I hadn't fully considered. I'll need to look at our overall tax situation in retirement. We'll have my husband's SS, my state pension, some 401k withdrawals, and then eventually my Social Security. I should probably consult with a tax professional to model different scenarios. Thanks for bringing this up!
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Reina Salazar
I've been following this discussion and wanted to add my perspective as someone who went through a similar decision process. The key factors that helped me decide were: 1) Getting the actual WEP calculation from SSA (not estimates), 2) Understanding that the 8% delayed retirement credits apply AFTER the WEP reduction, making them even more valuable, and 3) Realizing that working those extra years could potentially move me up the WEP reduction scale. Given your excellent health and family longevity, plus the fact that you're planning to work anyway, waiting until 70 seems like the mathematically sound choice. The break-even analysis becomes even more favorable when you factor in the potential WEP reduction from additional substantial earnings years. Just make sure to get those exact calculations from SSA before making your final decision!
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