I'm really sorry you're going through this confusing situation. As others have mentioned, your sister was correct - survivor benefits for a surviving spouse do stop when you remarry before age 60. The good news is that you've been incredibly responsible by saving those payments! One additional tip: when you visit the SSA office, bring documentation of EVERYTHING. Your marriage certificate, records of when you reported the name change, and if possible, try to remember the name or employee number of the person who told you the benefits would continue. This documentation could be crucial if you decide to pursue the overpayment waiver that Marina mentioned. Also, don't feel bad about this mistake - the SSA's own training materials acknowledge that the remarriage rules are one of the most commonly misunderstood aspects of survivor benefits, even among their own staff. You did the right thing by asking and following the guidance you were given. Your son's benefits will definitely continue unchanged, which is one less thing to worry about. Stay strong - you've handled this situation very responsibly so far!

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this stressful situation! As a newcomer to this community, I wanted to share that I went through something very similar with my late husband's benefits. The remarriage rules are honestly one of the most confusing parts of the Social Security system. Everyone here has given you excellent advice - your benefits should have stopped when you remarried before age 60, but your son's will continue. The fact that you've been saving the money shows incredible foresight and responsibility. One thing I'd add is to keep detailed notes of every conversation you have with SSA going forward - date, time, employee name/ID if possible, and what was discussed. This documentation could be really helpful, especially given the conflicting information you've received. Also, when you do visit the local office, consider asking to speak with a supervisor if the first person you talk to seems uncertain about the remarriage rules. You deserve clear, accurate information, and it's okay to advocate for yourself to get it. You're handling this difficult situation with such grace and responsibility. Hang in there - once you get this sorted out, at least you'll have peace of mind knowing exactly where you stand!

Just wanted to add one more important point that might affect your decision - if your ex-husband remarries, it won't impact your eligibility for divorced spouse benefits or survivor benefits at all. His new marriage has zero effect on your benefits as long as YOU remain unmarried. I mention this because I see a lot of people worry unnecessarily about what their ex does after divorce. The 10+ year marriage rule protects your rights regardless of his future relationships. Also, since you mentioned having kids together - if any of your children are still under 18 (or disabled), they might be eligible for benefits on their father's SSDI record too. That's a separate benefit that doesn't reduce what you could get. Good luck with your SSA appointment! Having all the numbers will really help you make the best choice for your situation.

I'm glad you're taking the time to research this thoroughly before making a decision! As someone who went through a similar situation with my ex-spouse's SSDI benefits, I wanted to add that when you meet with the SSA representative, make sure to ask about the "protected filing date" concept. If you're leaning toward waiting but are concerned about missing out on benefits, you can sometimes file a protective claim that establishes your filing date while you gather more information. This can be especially helpful if you're close to a birthday that might affect your benefit calculations. Also, don't be discouraged if the first representative you speak with seems unsure about divorced spouse benefits - unfortunately, not all SSA staff are equally knowledgeable about these more complex situations. If you don't feel confident in the answers you receive, it's perfectly acceptable to request to speak with a supervisor or schedule another appointment. One last tip: bring a copy of your divorce decree that shows the exact marriage dates. Sometimes there can be confusion about whether you truly meet the 10-year requirement, especially if there were separations before the final divorce.

My friend works for SS (not giving advice just sharing what I know) - definitely call the main number not your local office. The national line has access to more info. And keep calling until you get someone helpful cuz some reps are way better than others honestly

Just checking back - were you able to get through to someone who could help? The situation with multiple families definitely complicates things, but 4 months is still excessive for not even having an update.

Good question about him waiting until 70. Your spousal benefit is based on his PIA (what he'd get at his full retirement age), not his actual benefit amount. So while HE would get a larger benefit by waiting until 70 (about 8% per year in delayed retirement credits), your spousal benefit wouldn't increase beyond 50% of his PIA. However, there's still an advantage to him waiting - if he passes away before you, you'd be eligible for survivor benefits equal to 100% of what he was receiving, including those delayed retirement credits. So his waiting could significantly increase your eventual widow's benefit. Given your age difference and his higher earning history, him delaying benefits could be a good strategy for maximizing your lifetime household benefits, especially if he has longevity in his family.

Just want to add one practical tip that helped me when I was navigating this - keep detailed records of all your communications with SSA! I created a simple spreadsheet tracking dates, who I spoke with, and what they told me. This saved me so much hassle later when I got conflicting information from different representatives. Also, if you haven't already, create your my Social Security account online at ssa.gov. You can see your earnings history, get benefit estimates, and even run scenarios for different filing ages. It's much more reliable than trying to get through on the phone, and you can see exactly what your husband's estimated PIA would be at different ages. One last thing - consider consulting with a fee-only financial planner who specializes in Social Security strategies before making any major decisions. The rules are complex and the stakes are high given that these decisions can't easily be undone.

This happens every few years and causes so much confusion! My mom gets retirement benefits not survivor benefits but same payment system. Her neighbor told her same thing last year and she was up all night worrying. Like others said nobody misses a payment, it's just about when the dates fall. Does your aunt get direct deposit? That makes it easier to track.

I work at a local senior center and we get this exact question every single year! It's so frustrating how this rumor keeps circulating and scaring people. Your aunt is definitely not alone - we had about 15 seniors come in last month asking about "missed December payments." What I always tell folks is to think of it like this: Social Security promises you 12 payments per year, and they ALWAYS deliver on that promise. Sometimes the calendar just makes it look weird on paper, but the money is always there. We actually keep printouts of the SSA payment calendar at our front desk now because this comes up so often. Tell your aunt she can also call her local Area Agency on Aging if she needs help understanding any Social Security stuff - they're usually really good at explaining things in plain English without the long hold times!