I want to thank everyone for their help and advice. I called SSA this morning but couldn't get through after being on hold for over an hour before getting disconnected. I'm going to try that Claimyr service someone mentioned to see if I can actually speak to someone. I've also scheduled an in-person appointment at my local office for next week just in case. I'm bringing all the documents suggested - marriage certificate, both our Social Security cards, birth certificates, and information about his incarceration. It's a relief to know that the POA situation doesn't affect my eligibility for spousal benefits. I'll update once I get some resolution!

This thread has been absolutely incredible to follow! I'm blown away by the depth of knowledge and genuine care everyone has shown. As someone who's dealt with government bureaucracy before (though not SSA specifically), I can't emphasize enough how valuable all this practical advice is. A few things really stood out to me that I think are worth highlighting for anyone else who might find this thread later: 1. The distinction between POA and benefit eligibility - this seems to be a common source of confusion that was cleared up brilliantly here 2. The importance of being your own advocate and not accepting vague answers 3. The multiple backup strategies (phone, in-person, services like Claimyr, local office numbers) 4. Documentation is key - keeping logs, bringing all relevant paperwork, asking for written summaries 5. There are SO many assistance programs available that most people don't know about What strikes me most is how this went from one person's specific crisis to an incredibly comprehensive guide that could help countless others. The combination of professional expertise (retired SSA employee, benefits counselor, nonprofit worker) with real personal experiences creates such a valuable resource. To the original poster - you should feel proud of how proactively you've approached this difficult situation. You've turned what seemed like an overwhelming crisis into a clear action plan, and you've created a resource that will help many other people facing similar challenges. I'm really hoping your appointment goes smoothly and you get the financial relief you need and deserve. Please do update us - I think everyone who contributed here would love to hear about your success! This is exactly why online communities like this are so powerful. Thank you to everyone who shared their time, knowledge, and encouragement!

One more thing to consider: Since you're past your FRA, you should know that there's no advantage to waiting longer to claim ex-spousal benefits. Unlike your own retirement benefit, ex-spousal benefits don't grow with delayed retirement credits past your FRA. So if the ex-spousal benefit is going to be higher than your own benefit, you might as well claim now. But if your own benefit is higher, and especially if it's close, you might consider waiting until 70 to maximize your own benefit with delayed retirement credits (which grow about 8% per year until 70).

I just wanted to add something that might help with your decision timing. Since you mentioned you retired last year and are now 66 and 4 months, you should also consider your overall financial situation. If you need the income now, there's no penalty for earning money while collecting Social Security since you're past your FRA. Also, regarding getting information without opening a claim - you can actually request a Social Security Statement online at ssa.gov/myaccount which will show your own estimated benefits. While it won't show your ex-spouse benefit amount, it will at least give you your own benefit estimate to compare against. One last tip: if you do end up needing to wait 3 months for an appointment, you might want to go ahead and schedule it now anyway. You can always cancel if you figure things out sooner, but at least you'll have that backup option. Good luck with everything!

This is exactly why communities like this are so valuable! Andre, I'm thrilled you were able to get through and confirm your eligibility - what a relief that must be. For anyone else reading this who might be in a similar situation, here are the key takeaways from this thread: 1. Disabled widow(er) benefits ARE available as early as age 50 if your disability began before or within 7 years of your spouse's death 2. You must specifically ask about "disabled widow benefits" - many SSA reps won't think to check otherwise 3. Use services like Claimyr if you're having trouble getting through on the phone 4. Don't accept the first "no" - ask for supervisors and keep trying 5. Bring all documentation to your appointment (death cert, marriage cert, disability approval letter, SSNs) 6. The benefit amount is reduced if taken before Full Retirement Age but may still be higher than your own SSDI It's truly shameful how often people have to fight for benefits they're legally entitled to. Thank you to everyone who shared their experiences - this information could save other families years of unnecessary financial hardship.

Andre, this is such wonderful news! I'm so happy you were able to get through to SSA and confirm your eligibility. This entire thread has been incredibly valuable - I had no idea about disabled widow benefits being available as early as age 50. It's really frustrating that you had to struggle for three years when you were eligible all along, but I'm glad you found the support and information you needed here. The community knowledge shared by everyone, especially about the specific terminology to use and services like Claimyr, seems to have made all the difference. Best of luck with your appointment next week! Make sure to bring copies of everything and don't hesitate to ask questions if anything seems unclear. Your persistence and willingness to advocate for yourself is inspiring, and I'm sure your experience will help other widows and widowers who might be in similar situations. Please keep us updated on how the application process goes!

I'm new to this community but wanted to share my experience since I just went through a very similar situation last year. I was approved for SSDI at 63 with an onset date that would have put my Medicare eligibility right around my 65th birthday. The whole process was incredibly confusing, especially getting consistent information from SSA representatives. What really helped me was creating a simple spreadsheet with all the important dates and calling my insurance company multiple times to understand their specific policies. One thing I learned that others have touched on - make sure you understand not just IF your current coverage is creditable, but also how your insurance company handles claims once you become Medicare-eligible through any route. Some companies have very specific rules about when they stop being the primary payer, and it's not always intuitive. Also, start familiarizing yourself with Medicare.gov now while you have time. The Annual Open Enrollment period, Medicare Advantage vs. Supplement plans, prescription drug coverage - there's a lot to learn and having almost a year to research will serve you well. Congratulations on your SSDI approval, and don't let the Medicare complexity stress you out too much. You have time to get it right!

I'm new to this community but have been dealing with similar Medicare/SSDI timing issues, so I wanted to jump in and share what I've learned from my research and talking to Medicare counselors. One resource that hasn't been mentioned yet is your State Health Insurance Assistance Program (SHIP) - they provide free, unbiased Medicare counseling and can help you understand exactly how your SSDI status will affect your Medicare options when you turn 65. They're often more knowledgeable about these complex timing situations than general SSA reps. Also, since you mentioned your spouse might retire soon, SHIP counselors can help you model different scenarios for how that timing might impact your Medicare decisions. You can find your local SHIP program through the Medicare.gov website. Another thing to consider - if your spouse does retire before you turn 65, you might want to look into whether continuing your current coverage through COBRA would still qualify as creditable coverage, or if you'd be better off enrolling in Medicare earlier than 65 (if you become eligible through the SSDI route). The penalty calculations can get complex when you have overlapping eligibility periods. Congratulations on your SSDI approval, and I hope you can get some clear answers soon!

This happened to my brother too! Online status stuck on

I went through this exact same process last year! Applied online in August for September benefits, and like you, heard absolutely nothing for weeks. The silence was nerve-wracking, but my first payment showed up right on schedule in October on the third Wednesday (my birthday is the 15th). The online portal never updated either - it just said "pending" until suddenly one day it switched to showing my payment history. Since your situation sounds straightforward and you already set up direct deposit, I'd expect your November payment to arrive without any drama. The SSA's communication is terrible, but their payment system is actually pretty reliable once everything is processed. Try not to stress too much - no news really is good news with them!