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Something nobody has mentioned yet that's important - if you do decide to wait until after 60 to remarry, make sure you understand the implications for health insurance, taxes, estate planning, etc. SS benefits are just one factor. Also, there's a technical detail about survivor benefits worth knowing: if you remarry after 60, you can claim on your deceased spouse's record, BUT you also have the option to claim on your new spouse's record if that would be higher. So you essentially get to pick the highest of three possible benefits: 1. Your own retirement benefit 2. Your deceased first husband's benefit 3. 50% of your new husband's benefit while he's alive (or 100% survivor if he passes) This flexibility is quite valuable. Just be aware that different benefits have different optimal claiming ages, so timing when you start taking which benefit can make a significant difference over your lifetime.
Thank you for this additional perspective! You're right - there are definitely other considerations beyond just the SS benefits. We've discussed all these factors, and honestly, the main reason we're considering waiting is the financial impact. Those survivor benefits have been crucial for me since I had limited work history. The flexibility to choose between all those benefit options after 60 does sound valuable. I appreciate you laying that out so clearly!
Not to throw another complication in but HAVE YOU CONSIDERED what happens with Medicare?????? If you remarry does that affect your enrollment age or premiums??????? The whole system is designed to confuse us i swear!!!!! And another thing - if the boyfriend's ex is just living with someone without being married, she's technically not committing fraud if she claims on her ex's record later!!! Plenty of people make this exact choice and the SSA can't do anything about it!!!!! WHY SHOULD MARRIAGE PENALIZE PEOPLE FINANCIALLY??
i don't think medicare is affected by marriage status? my mom remarried at 63 and her medicare enrollment was all based on her age not who she was married to. but yeah its crazy how the system bassicly punishes you for getting remarried before certain ages!!!
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One more thing to consider: if you've worked enough to qualify for your own Social Security benefits, you should check if the Government Pension Offset (GPO) or Windfall Elimination Provision (WEP) might affect you. These can reduce benefits if you receive a pension from work not covered by Social Security. Given your question, this probably doesn't apply, but it's good to be aware of.
Those WEP/GPO rules are ANOTHER way the system is RIGGED against people! My sister lost HALF her spousal benefit because she worked as a teacher for 20 years in a state that didn't pay into SS. It's CRIMINAL how they treat people!
To respond to your question about making an appointment - yes, you can schedule a phone appointment with SSA now to get benefit estimates, even if you're two years away from eligibility. When you call, specifically ask for an appointment to discuss ex-spouse benefits. Having an appointment is much better than trying to get this information during a regular call, as the representative will have time to pull all relevant records before speaking with you.
And if you have trouble getting through to schedule that appointment, that's exactly where Claimyr helps. I spent days trying to get through on my own before using their service. The peace of mind from having accurate numbers for retirement planning was worth it.
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if its at the payment center already they probably caught the mistake themselves. thats what that dept does - checks applications for errors. thats probably why its in review. i wouldnt worry too much
UPDATE: I finally got through to someone at SSA! I took the advice about using Claimyr, and it worked perfectly - got a callback with an agent on the line within 20 minutes. The agent confirmed they had already flagged the Medicare eligibility issue for correction (someone at the payment center caught it). She added notes to my file with the correct information and said my application should be processed within the next 7-10 business days. She also confirmed my benefit amount with the GPO reduction will be $892/month, and I'll receive back payments for the two months since my FRA. Thank you all for your help and suggestions! Such a relief to have this resolved.
That's great news! So glad you got it sorted out. And good to know they had already caught the error - the system works sometimes!
Glad it worked out! Still think the whole system needs an overhaul but happy you got your issue fixed.
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i would say just take your own SS now if its more than what youd get from the ex. all this complicated stuff just to wait until 70 might not be worth the hassle honeslty. is the extra 8% per year really worth waiting?
For many people, especially those in good health who expect to live into their 80s or beyond, waiting until 70 can mean tens or even hundreds of thousands of dollars in additional lifetime benefits. Each year of delay beyond FRA increases benefits by 8%, which is a guaranteed return you can't match elsewhere with similar risk. The restricted application strategy makes this even better since you can receive some benefits while waiting. It's definitely worth analyzing your specific situation rather than dismissing the strategy outright.
Thanks everyone for all the helpful responses! I'm going to try to schedule an in-person appointment to file the restricted application for divorced spouse benefits. It sounds like I need to be really clear about what I'm asking for and bring all my documentation. I'm still not 100% certain if my own benefit at FRA would be higher than 50% of my ex's, but it's definitely worth checking. He had a pretty high-paying career, so it might work out in my favor. If I have trouble getting an appointment, I might try that Claimyr service someone mentioned. I just want to get this process started since I've already missed out on potential benefits for months!
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WATCH OUT for underpayment penalties too! If you don't withhold enough from your SS benefits and don't have other withholding or make estimated tax payments, you could get hit with penalties!!! I learned this the hard way my first year on SS!!!
Oh no, I hadn't even thought about underpayment penalties! I'll definitely factor that in. I wonder if I should go with 22% withholding instead of 12% to be safe.
One thing to remember is that the Medicare premium is deducted from your gross benefit amount before tax withholding is calculated, but both the full benefit amount AND the Medicare premium are reported on your SSA-1099 at the end of the year. This can be confusing when reconciling your tax documents. The Medicare premium is considered a medical expense that you've paid, even though you never actually received that money in your bank account.
That's really helpful information about the SSA-1099 reporting. So even though the tax withholding is calculated after Medicare is taken out, I'll still need to report the full benefit amount on my tax return?
Exactly right. Your SSA-1099 will show your gross benefits (Box 3), and you'll use that figure on your tax return. Your Medicare premiums will be reported as medical expenses you've paid, even though they were automatically deducted.
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btw dont forget about taxes!!!! when my wife took SS and was still working we got hit with a big tax bill that april, almost 30% of her SS was taxed!
Can I just say how frustrating it is that we have to make these complicated financial decisions? The whole system is designed to confuse seniors imho
ABSOLUTELY AGREE!!!! And the SSA website is useless for answering specific questions like this. I tried to get help from them and waited on hold for 2 HOURS only to get disconnected!!!
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did they tell u how much the new monthly payment will be vs the old one? if its a big difference that back pay could add up to alot!
The new amount is about $250 more per month, and the backpay covers 7 months, so we're talking around $1,750 total. Definitely worth trying to get corrected!
My cousin works for social security and says they make these kind of mistakes all the time lol. She says most people dont notice or bother to appeal so they just get away with it. Definitely appeal!!!
I want to clarify something important here - while mistakes certainly happen in benefit calculations, they're rarely deliberate. The Social Security Administration processes millions of claims with complex rules and an aging computer system. What often happens is that different representatives interpret policies differently or don't have complete information. Always appeal if you believe there's an error, but it's important to understand these are typically honest mistakes, not attempts to "get away with" underpaying beneficiaries.
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wait something doesn't add up... if you've been approved to collect starting in March 2025 (next month) as you said, how did you already receive representative payee letters 3 weeks ago? Did you mean to say you were approved in November 2024 and started collecting in January 2025? The timeline seems off.
Sorry for the confusion! You're right - I was approved in November 2024, and my own benefits started in January 2025. The representative payee letters for the kids came about 3 weeks ago in early March. I'm not good with dates sometimes, my apologies!
When you talk to SSA again (using whatever method works), ask them to explain WHY they determined you provide less than 50% support. Did they actually do a proper dependency determination, or is this just an assumption based on income differences? Also, if your husband's income is higher because you reduced your work hours to care for the children, that arrangement actually INCREASES his ability to earn - meaning your contribution is greater than just your direct financial input. In my experience, most SSA claims representatives don't fully understand all the nuances of stepchild dependency determinations. Request to speak with a Technical Expert or Claims Specialist who specializes in family benefits, not just any claims rep who answers the phone.
That's a great point about how my reduced work hours actually enable my husband to earn more. I hadn't thought about presenting it that way. I'll definitely ask for a Technical Expert or Claims Specialist - I've probably just been talking to general representatives who don't know all the details of this specific situation.
Yara Sayegh
i was SHOCKED when i started getting ss and saw all the deductions!! nobody tells you this stuff beforehand!! between medicare and the tax withholding i chose, i get WAAAY less than what my statement said. budget accordingly!!!!
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QuantumQuasar
•This is why financial planning for retirement is so important. The SSA could definitely do a better job explaining potential deductions in their benefit estimates. I recommend everyone create a spreadsheet with your expected SS benefit, then subtract estimated Medicare premiums, tax withholding (if elected), and any other deductions to get a realistic take-home amount.
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Zainab Omar
my brother just turned 66 and he didn't do the withholding thing and now owes a big tax bill he can't pay. definitely do the withholding!!!
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Keisha Johnson
•This is a common situation. For anyone facing an unexpected tax bill on Social Security benefits, the IRS does offer payment plans. You can set up an installment agreement online if you owe less than $50,000. The important thing is to file your tax return on time even if you can't pay in full.
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