Social Security survivor benefits if I remarry - what happens with my late husband's SS vs. new husband's benefits?

You're asking really smart questions here! Let me break this down for you: 1. If you remarry after age 60, you can still claim survivor benefits from your first husband. This is an important cutoff date in SS rules. 2. If you marry your boyfriend before 60 and he later passes away, you would be eligible for survivor benefits on his record as his widow, regardless of when you married him. The "before 60" remarriage rule only applies to collecting from a previous spouse. 3. His ex-wife's potential claim would not impact your survivor benefits if you're married to him when he passes. You would be eligible for 100% of his PIA (Primary Insurance Amount) at your FRA (Full Retirement Age). The ex-spouse would receive ex-spouse benefits (up to 50% while he's alive or 100% survivor benefits if he passes), but this doesn't reduce what you'd receive. Given your limited work history, maximizing spousal/survivor benefits is really important. Think about whether waiting until 60 to remarry makes financial sense in your specific situation.

my sister was in a similar situation!! she remarried at 58 and lost her dead husbands benefits right away. two years later she was kicking herself cause she couldve just waited. its not just the survivors benefit but also the retirement benefit you can get at FRA which might be higher than your own.

The SSA makes this SO COMPLICATED on purpose! I spent THREE MONTHS trying to figure out my options after my spouse died and got different answers from every agent!!! They keep changing the rules and the website is impossible to navigate. One thing nobody mentioned yet - even if you DO wait until after 60 to marry, if your boyfriend's benefit amount is substantially higher than your first husband's, it might be better to marry earlier anyway and eventually claim on your new husband's record (either as spouse while he's alive or survivor if he passes). The 60+ remarriage rule only matters if your first husband's benefit is higher. But good luck getting straight answers from SSA directly!!! Their hold times are RIDICULOUS!!!

Having dealt with similar questions with clients, I think it's helpful to run some actual numbers. At your current age (51), if you remarry before 60, you would lose your current survivor benefits immediately, which could mean 9 years of lost benefits. That's substantial. You should calculate: 1. How much are you currently receiving monthly in survivor benefits? 2. Multiply that by 12 months, then by 9 years (assuming you'd otherwise wait until 60) 3. That's your potential "cost" of remarrying early Remember too that taking survivor benefits doesn't prevent you from switching to your own retirement benefit later if it would be higher (or vice versa). Regarding his ex-wife - her benefits as a divorced spouse don't impact yours as a current spouse. Also, she needs to have been married to him for at least 10 years to claim divorced spouse benefits. This is definitely a situation where timing matters significantly. I'd recommend scheduling an appointment with SSA to discuss your specific situation and run the numbers.

Thank you all for the helpful advice! I'm going to look closer at the actual benefit amounts before making any decisions. My late husband had a really good income so his benefit amount is substantial. My boyfriend has also had a good career, but I need to find out exactly what the numbers look like in both scenarios. One question I'm still confused about - if my boyfriend's ex-wife is claiming on his record (they were married 12 years), does that reduce what I could potentially get as his spouse/widow?

So sorry about your husband. My friend went thru this exact thing!!! She waited till 60 to get married again cuz the money from her first husband was way better. Her new guy understood. They had a long engagement and just made it official after her birthday. Made a HUGE difference for her financially!!!

Something nobody has mentioned yet that's important - if you do decide to wait until after 60 to remarry, make sure you understand the implications for health insurance, taxes, estate planning, etc. SS benefits are just one factor. Also, there's a technical detail about survivor benefits worth knowing: if you remarry after 60, you can claim on your deceased spouse's record, BUT you also have the option to claim on your new spouse's record if that would be higher. So you essentially get to pick the highest of three possible benefits: 1. Your own retirement benefit 2. Your deceased first husband's benefit 3. 50% of your new husband's benefit while he's alive (or 100% survivor if he passes) This flexibility is quite valuable. Just be aware that different benefits have different optimal claiming ages, so timing when you start taking which benefit can make a significant difference over your lifetime.

Not to throw another complication in but HAVE YOU CONSIDERED what happens with Medicare?????? If you remarry does that affect your enrollment age or premiums??????? The whole system is designed to confuse us i swear!!!!! And another thing - if the boyfriend's ex is just living with someone without being married, she's technically not committing fraud if she claims on her ex's record later!!! Plenty of people make this exact choice and the SSA can't do anything about it!!!!! WHY SHOULD MARRIAGE PENALIZE PEOPLE FINANCIALLY??

I'm in a somewhat similar situation (widow at 49, now 54) and went through this analysis a couple years ago. One thing that really helped me was creating a spreadsheet to compare the financial impact of different marriage timing scenarios. Here's what I'd suggest calculating: - Your current monthly survivor benefit × 12 × number of years until you turn 60 = total you'd give up by marrying early - Compare that to any potential gains from filing as a spouse on your boyfriend's record Also consider that if you wait until 60+ to remarry, you preserve MORE options long-term. You could potentially file for your deceased husband's survivor benefits early (as soon as 60 at reduced rate) while letting your own retirement benefit grow with delayed credits until 70. One practical tip: SSA has gotten better about phone wait times if you call first thing in the morning (8am local time). I've had much better luck getting through early rather than midday. The emotional side is hard too - it feels weird to have your love life dictated by government benefit rules. But 9 years of survivor benefits could easily be $200K+ depending on your late husband's earnings record. That's life-changing money worth considering carefully.

This is such a complex but important decision! I've been following this thread and wanted to add a few practical considerations that might help: Since you mentioned your boyfriend is 62, have you discussed when he plans to claim his Social Security? If he delays claiming until his Full Retirement Age (66-67) or even until 70, his benefit amount will be higher, which would increase any spousal benefits you might receive later. Also, I'd strongly recommend getting a copy of your late husband's Social Security earnings record and your boyfriend's earnings record (he can request his own through ssa.gov). Having the actual numbers will make it much easier to run scenarios and see what the real dollar difference would be. One more thing - if you do decide to wait until 60, consider having a "commitment ceremony" or celebration before then if that feels important to you both. Many couples in similar situations have found creative ways to mark their commitment while preserving the financial benefits of waiting for the legal marriage. The fact that you're asking these questions now shows you're being really smart about this. Whatever you decide, make sure you're both on the same page about the financial implications and timeline.

I'm going through something very similar right now! I'm 53, been receiving survivor benefits for 4 years, and my partner and I have been discussing marriage timing for the same reasons. What really helped me was calling SSA and asking them to mail me a benefit verification letter that shows exactly what I'm currently receiving monthly. Then I could do the math - if I'm getting $2,800/month in survivor benefits, that's $33,600 per year, which means waiting until 60 would preserve about $235,000 over 7 years. That made the decision much clearer! Also, I learned that even if you remarry after 60, you don't have to immediately switch to spousal benefits. You can continue receiving survivor benefits and then evaluate your options when you reach full retirement age to see which benefit would be highest. One practical tip - if you call SSA, ask them to walk you through a "what if" scenario. They can tell you exactly what would happen to your current benefits if you remarried on a specific date. Getting that official confirmation really helped ease my anxiety about making the wrong choice. The waiting isn't easy emotionally, but knowing we're securing our financial future together makes it feel worth it. Good luck with whatever you decide!