Will remarrying before age 60 affect my Social Security survivor benefits from my deceased husband?

YES WAIT UNTIL 60!!! I made this mistake and I'm still kicking myself. My husband of 26 years died when I was 52, and I remarried at 58. NO ONE TOLD ME about the age 60 rule for widow benefits!!!! When I went to apply for SS, the agent actually said "oh, you should have waited 2 more years to remarry." I lost out on thousands of dollars of my first husband's benefits, which would have been much higher than what I'll get from my own record or my new husband's. The system is DESIGNED to punish widows who remarry too soon. Don't make my mistake.

Your friend from church is correct about this Social Security rule. If you remarry before age 60, you generally cannot receive survivor benefits from your deceased husband's record. If you wait until 60 or older to remarry, you preserve the option to claim either: 1) Survivor benefits based on your deceased husband's work record, OR 2) Spousal benefits based on your new husband's record You'd be able to choose whichever is higher. This can be particularly important if your first husband had higher lifetime earnings than your new partner. The age 60 rule is specifically for survivor benefits. Other benefit rules have different age thresholds.

The age 60 thing is real, but have you checked what your benefit amounts would actually be? Everyone's telling you to wait, but nobody's talking actual numbers. Your own retirement benefit at full retirement age might be higher than either survivor or spousal benefit anyway, in which case the remarriage timing doesn't matter. You need to check your earnings record and get estimates before making life decisions based on this.

Since your first marriage lasted over 10 years and your late husband had higher earnings, the survivor benefit could be quite valuable to you. Here's what you should do: 1. Create a my Social Security account at ssa.gov if you haven't already 2. Review your earnings history and projected benefits 3. Call SSA to get an estimate of potential survivor benefits (unfortunately this isn't shown online) With your income differences, waiting until 60 to remarry would likely preserve a significant financial advantage. At 60, you could claim survivor benefits (potentially at a reduced rate) while letting your own retirement benefit grow until age 70 if you want to maximize lifetime benefits. I've helped several friends navigate similar situations, and the difference in lifetime benefits can easily exceed $100,000 depending on your specific circumstances.

I've been trying to reach Social Security for weeks about a similar question (widow benefits) and it's been impossible. Busy signals, disconnections, or 2+ hour hold times that end in getting cut off. So frustrating when you're trying to make important life decisions! Has anyone had luck actually talking to a real person there recently?

No it's super easy! You just enter your phone number and they call you when they get an agent. For survivor benefit questions you definitely want to talk to someone directly because these rules are complicated and your specific situation matters.

my mom is dealing with all this stuff now. she says its better to just be single lol. but for real, she waited til 60 to remarry her boyfriend and is glad she did. the survivor benefit from my dad is wayyyy more than shed get otherwise

The worst part is they DON'T TELL YOU THIS STUFF!!! The SSA website buries this information. They should send every widow/widower a clear explanation of the remarriage rules when their spouse dies. But nooooo, you have to find out the hard way or hope a random friend mentions it. It's CRUEL how they handle this!

There's one more nuance worth mentioning: If you do remarry before 60 but that marriage later ends (divorce, death), you can once again become eligible for survivor benefits from your first husband. However, given your age (54) and the fact that you're considering marriage now, waiting until 60 would be the financially prudent choice if your late husband's benefit would be substantially higher than what you'd get from your own record or as a spouse of your new husband. Since your late husband earned approximately twice what you currently earn, and considering your work history has gaps, the survivor benefit would almost certainly be higher than your own retirement benefit.

For Social Security purposes, only legal marriage counts. Domestic partnerships or civil unions don't trigger the remarriage rules for survivor benefits. Some couples choose this path to preserve benefits while still formalizing their relationship. However, there are other potential legal and financial implications to consider with domestic partnerships versus marriage (inheritance rights, health insurance, taxes, etc.). These vary by state and individual circumstances. I'd recommend consulting with both a financial advisor who specializes in retirement planning and an elder law attorney before making this decision. The right choice depends on your complete financial picture and personal priorities.

lots of ppl just live together and dont get the paper. my neighbors been together 15 years but never married cuz of the ss benefits thing. no one cares if ur married on paper these days anyway

After reading through all this, I can see why this is confusing. Look at it this way: if your late husband's benefit would be around $2,500/month at his full retirement age, and your own benefit might only be $1,400/month, that's a $1,100 monthly difference - or $13,200 per year. Over 20+ years of retirement, that's a quarter million dollars at stake. No wonder people are telling you to wait. But this is also why talking to SSA directly is so important - those numbers I just made up might be completely different in your actual situation.