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Will remarriage end my Social Security survivor benefits? Confused about spousal top-up eligibility timing

I'm 58 and have been receiving survivor benefits since my husband passed away 3 years ago. I've recently met someone and we're considering marriage next year. I'm really confused about what happens to my SS survivor benefits if I remarry. Will I lose them completely? I've heard different things from friends - one said I'd lose benefits if I remarry before 60, another said I'd lose them regardless of age. Also, my potential new husband has a much higher earnings record than I do. If I do lose my survivor benefits, how long would I need to wait before I could apply for spousal benefits based on his record? Is there some kind of waiting period or would I be automatically filing (deemed filing)? My survivor benefits are helping me make ends meet, so I'm worried about making a bad financial decision even though I really want to get married. Any help understanding this would be so appreciated.

Logan Greenburg

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You're in luck! The remarriage rules for Social Security survivor benefits are age-based. If you remarry before age 60, you will lose your survivor benefits. But if you wait until 60 or later to remarry, you can keep collecting them. Since you're 58 now and planning to marry next year at 59, you might want to consider postponing the wedding until after your 60th birthday to maintain those benefits. As for spousal benefits based on your new husband's record, you would be eligible after you've been married for at least one year. There's no automatic deemed filing for spousal benefits - you would need to apply for them. Once you reach your Full Retirement Age (probably 67 for you), you could then choose whichever benefit is higher: your continued survivor benefit from your first husband OR the spousal benefit from your new husband (which would be up to 50% of his benefit amount at his FRA).

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Angelica Smith

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Thank you so much for explaining this! So to make sure I understand correctly - if I wait until I'm 60 to get married, I can KEEP my survivor benefits AND potentially get spousal benefits from my new husband after we've been married a year? Would the spousal benefits be a "top-up" to my survivor benefits or would I have to choose one or the other?

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Charlotte Jones

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u cant have both benefits at the same time!!! my mom tried this and SSA made her pick one. its either survivors OR spousal, not both!!! be careful what u decide

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Logan Greenburg

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You're right that you can't receive full survivor AND spousal benefits simultaneously - you'll receive whichever is higher. However, the key point for the original poster is that if she waits until 60 to remarry, she preserves her *eligibility* for survivor benefits, giving her more options later.

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Lucas Bey

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I went through this exact situation last year. Here's what I learned from my experience: 1. Survivor benefits STOP if you remarry before age 60 (age 50 if disabled) 2. If you remarry at 60+, you keep eligibility for survivor benefits 3. For spousal benefits on new spouse, you must be married 1 year before applying 4. At FRA, SSA will pay the HIGHER of the two benefits, not both I waited until my 60th birthday to remarry specifically to keep my options open. Best decision I made! I recommend speaking directly with SSA before making your decision - calling early morning when they first open helped me avoid long wait times.

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Harper Thompson

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This was really helpful, especially the tip about calling early in the morning. Every time I've called SSA in the afternoon I've been on hold for ages!

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Caleb Stark

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Has anyone used Claimyr to reach Social Security directly? I was in a similar situation last year with survivor benefits questions and spent days trying to get through. A friend recommended Claimyr (claimyr.com) - they have this service where they wait on hold with SSA and call you when an agent picks up. Saved me hours of frustration! They have a video showing how it works: https://youtu.be/Z-BRbJw3puU. For complicated benefit questions like this remarriage situation, speaking directly with SSA is really the best option.

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Jade O'Malley

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i tried calling SS last week and literally gave up after being on hold for 2 hours!!! is this service legit? do they actually get you through to a real person? my local office is always packed and i cant take more time off work

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Hunter Edmunds

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My sister just went thru this!!! She got remaried at 59 and LOST her surviver benefits!! She was SOOO MAD bcuz nobody told her about the age 60 rule! If ur getting maried next year WAIT til ur 60th birthday!!!!!!

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Angelica Smith

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Oh no, that's exactly what I'm afraid of happening! I'm so sorry your sister went through that. Did she ever get them back, or was it permanent? I really appreciate the warning.

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Jade O'Malley

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The rules about this are so confusing! I got different answers from 2 different SS reps when I called about something similar. Here's what I've learned through experience - you can't get both benefits at the same time, but you CAN apply for both and get the higher amount. SS calls this the "greater of" rule. Also important - if your future husband hasn't applied for his benefits yet, you can't get spousal benefits based on his record until he does file (even if he's eligible but delaying).

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Harper Thompson

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Totally agree with how confusing these rules are. My aunt got completely different information depending on which SSA rep she talked to!

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Logan Greenburg

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To clarify some confusion in this thread: if you remarry at or after 60, you preserve your right to survivor benefits. After a year of marriage, you'd be eligible for spousal benefits on your new husband's record. At that point, you have options: 1. Continue receiving survivor benefits if they're higher 2. Switch to spousal benefits if they're higher (up to 50% of your new husband's FRA amount) This gives you financial flexibility. When you reach your own FRA, you should contact SSA for a benefits calculation to see which option maximizes your monthly payment. This is a case where timing really matters - that 60th birthday is a critical threshold for survivor benefits and remarriage.

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Angelica Smith

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Thank you for clearing this up! I think I'm going to talk to my partner about postponing our wedding until after my 60th birthday. It's only a few more months, and it sounds like it could make a big financial difference. Would there be any advantage to waiting until I reach my full retirement age (67) to apply for spousal benefits on his record?

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Caleb Stark

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I used Claimyr when dealing with my survivor benefit questions. The rep I got actually explained that in some very specific situations, you can get PARTIAL concurrent benefits - if your survivor benefit is higher than your spousal benefit, you'll get the full survivor benefit. If your spousal would be higher, you'll get the survivor benefit plus the difference to equal the spousal amount. That's why it's so important to speak with SSA directly about your specific situation. Their website is claimyr.com if you want to avoid the hold times.

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Angelica Smith

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Thank you, I'll check that out! I definitely want to speak with SSA directly before making any decisions. The thought of sitting on hold for hours was really stressing me out, so this sounds like a much better option.

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Charlotte Jones

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just wondering... has anyone checked if the marriage would affect other benefits?? my friend lost her Medicare help when she remarried becuz her new husbands income counted against her!! something to think about

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Lucas Bey

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This is an excellent point that's often overlooked. Remarriage can affect income-based programs like Medicare Savings Programs, Extra Help for prescriptions, and Medicaid. These programs look at household income, not just individual income. The Social Security rules about marriage are separate from these income-based program rules.

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Angelica Smith

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I just wanted to update everyone and say THANK YOU for all the helpful information! I've decided to postpone the wedding until right after my 60th birthday so I can keep my options open with the survivor benefits. I've got an appointment with my local SSA office next month to go over everything and make sure I understand all the implications. This forum has been such a lifesaver - I never would have known about the age 60 rule otherwise!

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Lucas Bey

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That sounds like a wise decision! Make sure to bring documentation to your appointment: your current benefit information, your deceased spouse's information, and information about your future spouse's earnings record if possible. It's always good to have them run the actual numbers for your specific situation. Good luck with everything!

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