Can I keep deceased wife's Social Security survivor benefits if I remarry?

Unfortunately, yes. If you remarry before age 60, you generally can't collect survivor benefits from your deceased spouse. The SSA considers remarriage before 60 as ending eligibility for survivor benefits. If you wait until after you turn 60 to remarry, then you can continue receiving the survivor benefits.

Same thing happened to my sister! She lost her benefits when she remarried at 57, and was SHOCKED. Nobody told her until after the wedding!!

I'd definitely confirm this with SSA directly. The rules about remarriage and survivor benefits have some exceptions and special cases. For example, if your new marriage ends (divorce or death), you might be able to get the survivor benefits back. Also worth noting - if you're disabled, different rules might apply. And if you're caring for a child who gets benefits from your deceased wife, that might have different rules too. But yes, generally speaking, remarriage before 60 = lose survivor benefits.

This is one of those weird Social Security rules that forces people to make tough personal choices. The exact rule is if you remarry before age 60, you cannot receive benefits as a surviving spouse while you are married. But as someone mentioned, if that marriage ends, you can requalify. Also important: if you're receiving survivor benefits and are approaching your own FRA (Full Retirement Age), you should look into whether your own retirement benefit might be higher. Sometimes people focus so much on the survivor benefit they forget to check if their own retirement benefit would actually pay more when they reach 70.

i waited til i was 60 to remarry for exactly this reason. girlfriend wasnt happy about it but the $1800/month from my late husband's SS was too much to give up. we calculated it would cost us over $40k to marry early. sometimes you gotta make practical choices.

I've been trying to call Social Security for THREE DAYS to ask something similar!! The wait times are RIDICULOUS and I keep getting disconnected. How is anyone supposed to get help with these complicated rules??!!

One last thing that might be relevant to your situation: If you are caring for a child of the deceased worker who is under 16 or disabled, the remarriage rule works differently. In that case, you can remarry at any age and still receive benefits. But since you didn't mention any children, I'm guessing this exception doesn't apply to you. Whatever you decide, make sure to report any marriage to SSA immediately to avoid potential overpayments that you'd have to pay back later.

Have you run the numbers on what the financial difference would be? Sometimes it helps to see it on paper. If your survivor benefit is $2000/month and you'd lose it by marrying 2 years early, that's potentially $48,000 you'd be giving up. Everyone has to make their own choice about whether that's worth it, but having the actual figure helps with the decision.

My neighbor said you can just not tell Social Security you got married and keep collecting! But that sounds like fraud to me??

This is such a tough situation that many widows and widowers face. The age 60 rule really does create a difficult choice between love and financial security. One thing that might help is to think about this as a temporary delay rather than a permanent obstacle. Two years can feel like a long time when you're planning a future together, but many couples in your situation have found ways to make it work - maybe having a commitment ceremony or living together while waiting for the official marriage. You might also want to consider whether your partner would be open to contributing financially during those two years to help offset some of the benefit loss if you do decide to marry earlier. It's not ideal, but it could be one way to approach the financial gap. Whatever you decide, make sure you're both on the same page about the financial implications. $54,000 is a significant amount that could really impact your retirement security down the road.

I went through this exact same situation about 5 years ago. I was 59 and receiving my late husband's survivor benefits when I met my current partner. We really wanted to get married right away, but after doing the math (I was getting about $1,900/month), we decided to wait until after my 60th birthday. It was hard explaining to family and friends why we were delaying, but we treated it like a long engagement. We moved in together, combined finances where it made sense, and even had a small commitment ceremony with close family. When I finally turned 60, we had the legal wedding and I kept my survivor benefits. Looking back, I'm so glad we waited. Those benefits have been crucial for our financial stability, especially with rising costs. The year of waiting felt long at the time, but it was absolutely worth it. Your partner should understand that this isn't about your feelings for them - it's about protecting both of your financial futures together.

I'm so sorry for your loss, Jacob. This is definitely one of the most difficult aspects of Social Security's survivor benefit rules. As others have mentioned, you're correct that remarrying before age 60 would end your eligibility for survivor benefits from your deceased wife. I know it feels frustrating to have your personal life decisions tied to government benefits, but the financial impact is significant enough that it's worth carefully considering your timing. At $2,250/month, you'd be giving up over $50,000 if you marry before turning 60. That said, I've seen couples in your situation handle this in different ways - some choose to have commitment ceremonies, domestic partnerships, or simply live together until the survivor reaches 60. Others decide the emotional and personal benefits of marriage outweigh the financial cost. There's no universally "right" answer. My suggestion would be to sit down with your partner and have an open conversation about the numbers and your options. Make sure they understand this isn't about your commitment to them, but about making a practical financial decision that affects both of your futures together. A good partner will want to help you make the choice that's best for your shared long-term security. Whatever you decide, definitely confirm the details with SSA directly before making any final decisions.

I'm a financial planner who has helped many clients navigate this exact situation. The age 60 rule for survivor benefits is unfortunately very rigid - there are no exceptions for "financial hardship" or other circumstances if you're a surviving spouse without minor/disabled children. Since you're 58 now, you're looking at potentially giving up around $54,000 over the next two years if you marry before 60. That's a substantial amount that could significantly impact your retirement security. I'd recommend doing a comprehensive financial analysis that includes: 1) Your current survivor benefit vs. what your own retirement benefit would be at different claiming ages, 2) Your partner's financial situation and ability to help offset the lost income, 3) Other sources of retirement income you both have. Many of my clients in similar situations have opted for commitment ceremonies or domestic partnerships while waiting. It allows them to make their commitment public and official in every way except legally. Some states also have domestic partner registrations that provide many of the same legal protections as marriage without affecting federal benefits. The key is having transparent conversations with your partner about the long-term financial impact on both of your retirements. This decision will affect your household income for decades to come.