Will I lose my deceased wife's Social Security benefits if I marry someone receiving ex-spouse benefits?

Unfortunately, YES, you would both lose your current benefits if you marry. A surviving spouse (widower) who remarries after age 60 can continue receiving survivor benefits, BUT only if the new spouse is NOT receiving Social Security benefits based on someone else's record. Since your potential new wife is receiving ex-spouse benefits, this would trigger a review of both your benefit situations. You would both likely need to receive benefits based on your own work records after marriage. The SSA has strict rules about this to prevent what they consider "double-dipping" from multiple benefit sources through marriage.

actualy thats not right!! my aunt married again at 71 and shes still getting her dead husbands SS. the rules changed sometime back i think. but not 100% sure about the divorced spouse part tho.

This is a complicated situation that requires looking at the specific SSA rules for both widow(er) benefits and divorced spouse benefits. Here's what you need to know: 1. For widow(er) benefits: If you remarry after age 60, you can continue to receive benefits on your deceased spouse's record. HOWEVER, if your new spouse is receiving Social Security benefits, you might be eligible for a higher benefit based on your new spouse's record. 2. For divorced spouse benefits: If your girlfriend remarries, she will NO LONGER be eligible for benefits based on her ex-husband's record. Period. Those benefits terminate upon remarriage. You should BOTH calculate what your own retirement benefits would be based solely on your own work records before making any decisions. Also consider other financial aspects of marriage beyond just SS benefits (taxes, healthcare, etc.). You can check your benefit amounts by creating a my Social Security account at ssa.gov if you haven't already.

So sorry you're in this position. My parents faced something similar. They ended up just living together without getting legally married to keep their benefits. Not saying that's right for everyone, but it's what worked for them financially.

The SSA rules are HORRIBLE and UNFAIR!!! I lost $630 a month when I remarried at 65 because my new husband was on disability!!! No one warned me this would happen and now we're struggling every month! The whole system is designed to keep seniors poor. Call your congressman because these rules are from the 1930s when women didn't work!!!

I've been trying to reach SSA for weeks about a similar issue and kept getting disconnected or waiting for hours. I finally used a service called Claimyr that got me connected to an agent in under 20 minutes! They basically call SSA for you and hold your place in line, then call you when an agent is available. Saved me so much frustration. Their website is claimyr.com and they have a video showing how it works: https://youtu.be/Z-BRbJw3puU. Definitely worth it for complicated benefit questions like yours where you need to speak to an actual person.

My sister is in the EXACT same situation! She's 72 and her boyfriend is 70. They've been together for 6 years but won't get married because she gets her dead husband's SS and he gets his ex-wife's (she was the higher earner). They calculated they'd lose about $850/month combined if they got married.

To clarify some misinformation in this thread: 1. For survivors (widows/widowers): If you remarry after age 60, you CAN continue receiving survivor benefits regardless of who you marry. However, you might be eligible for higher spouse benefits based on your new spouse's record. 2. For divorced spouse benefits: These DO terminate upon remarriage, regardless of age. So in your specific situation: - You (the widower) could continue receiving your deceased wife's benefits even after remarriage. - Your girlfriend would lose her ex-spouse benefits upon remarriage. I strongly recommend scheduling an appointment with your local SSA office to get personalized advice based on your exact situations. They can calculate precise benefit amounts using your earnings records.

have u guys considered a commitment ceremony instead of legal marriage? thats what my neighbors did to keep there benefits.

Since there seems to be some confusion in this thread, I want to add that the SSA website has a section specifically addressing remarriage and benefits: https://www.ssa.gov/benefits/survivors/ifyou.html Since both parties are over FRA (Full Retirement Age), you should both run a benefit calculation to determine: 1. What you'd each receive on your own work records 2. What you currently receive on others' records 3. What spousal benefits you might be eligible for on each other's records after marriage Only then can you make an informed decision about the financial implications of marriage. While some benefits may change, it's not necessarily a loss in all cases.

I went through something very similar about 3 years ago. I'm a widow who was receiving survivor benefits, and I met someone who was also collecting on his ex-wife's record. We spent months agonizing over this decision because we'd both take significant financial hits. What we ended up doing was sitting down with a financial advisor who specializes in Social Security planning. They helped us calculate not just the benefit changes, but also the tax implications, healthcare costs, and other financial factors that come with marriage. In our case, the combined household income after marriage (even with lower SS benefits) plus shared living expenses actually worked out better financially than we initially thought. We also looked into whether either of us qualified for any spousal benefits on each other's records that might offset some of the losses. The calculations are complex, but it's worth exploring all angles before making your decision. The emotional toll of having to choose between love and money is real though. Whatever you decide, make sure you're both fully informed about the financial consequences first. Good luck!

I'm facing a similar situation and this thread has been incredibly helpful! I'm a 65-year-old widow receiving survivor benefits, and I've been seeing someone for two years who gets benefits on his ex-wife's record. We've been putting off marriage discussions because of the financial concerns. Reading everyone's experiences, it sounds like I might be able to keep my survivor benefits since I'm over 60, but my partner would definitely lose his ex-spouse benefits. The suggestion about consulting with a Social Security specialist is something I hadn't considered - it makes sense to look at the complete financial picture, not just the benefit changes. Has anyone here actually called SSA recently to get definitive answers? I've been hesitant to call because of the horror stories about wait times, but maybe I need to bite the bullet and get official guidance for our specific situation.

I'm in a very similar boat as many of you - I'm 64 and have been receiving survivor benefits from my late husband for the past 3 years. I recently started dating someone who's 66 and gets benefits based on his ex-wife's record. We've been talking about marriage but keep putting it off because of all the uncertainty around Social Security. After reading through this entire thread, I think I have a better understanding now. It sounds like I could potentially keep my survivor benefits since I'm close to the age 60 threshold, but my boyfriend would definitely lose his ex-spouse benefits. The suggestion about getting a comprehensive financial analysis from a Social Security specialist really resonates with me - I hadn't thought about looking at taxes, shared living costs, and the long-term picture. Has anyone here used a specific financial advisor or Social Security specialist they'd recommend? I'd love to get a professional analysis before we make any decisions. It's frustrating that the system makes us choose between financial security and marriage, but at least understanding all our options will help us make an informed choice.

I'm so grateful to have found this thread! I'm 69 and have been receiving survivor benefits from my late husband for 4 years now. I recently reconnected with an old friend who's 71 and receives benefits based on his ex-wife's record (they were married for 15 years). We've been discussing marriage but were completely confused about the Social Security implications. Reading through everyone's experiences has been eye-opening. It sounds like I should be able to keep my survivor benefits since I'm well over 60, but he would lose his ex-spouse benefits. The advice about consulting with a Social Security specialist is invaluable - I never considered looking at the complete financial picture including taxes, shared expenses, and Medicare costs. I'm definitely going to look into finding an RSSA certified planner as someone suggested. It's heartbreaking that the system forces seniors to choose between love and financial security, but at least now I feel like we can make an informed decision. Thank you all for sharing your stories and advice - it means more than you know when you're facing such a difficult choice!