Will remarrying before age 60 cancel my right to late husband's Social Security survivor benefits?

Yes, remarrying before age 60 will permanently prevent you from collecting survivor benefits based on your late husband's record. If you wait until you're 60 or older to remarry, you preserve your eligibility for those survivor benefits. This is a really important distinction in Social Security rules that many people don't realize until it's too late.

i went thru something kinda like this!! got remarried at 58 and totally didnt know about the age 60 rule until AFTER the wedding lol. big mistake financially!! if i had just waited 2 more years i couldve kept my late husbands ss which was way higher than what i get now from my current husband. definately wait!!

This is one of the most important Social Security planning decisions for widows/widowers. Here are the facts: 1. If you remarry before age 60, you cannot receive survivor benefits on your deceased husband's record (with very limited exceptions). 2. If you wait until age 60 or later to remarry, you preserve your right to claim survivor benefits from your first husband's record. 3. Once you reach retirement age, you'll be able to choose whichever benefit gives you the highest amount: your own retirement benefit, a spousal benefit based on your new husband's record, or the survivor benefit from your deceased husband. I recommend comparing what your future benefits might be under different scenarios. You can make an appointment with SSA to get estimates of what each type of benefit might be worth to you.

I tried calling SSA for weeks to get similar benefit estimates when I was making decisions about survivor benefits. Constantly busy signals or disconnected after long waits. I finally used a service called Claimyr (claimyr.com) that got me through to an SSA agent in under 5 minutes. They have a video showing how it works: https://youtu.be/Z-BRbJw3puU The agent I spoke with gave me printouts showing different benefit scenarios, which helped me make a decision. In your case, you really need those exact numbers before deciding whether to delay marriage.

My sister just went thru this exact thing last year!!! She was 58 and widowed and her new boyfriend was getting disability. They had a commitment ceremony instead of legal marriage and are waiting until she turns 60 next year for the legal part. That way she gets to keep her late husbands SS which is like twice what she'd get otherwise. Maybe you could do something similar?

IMPORTANT: Don't forget that the 60-year rule is ONLY for survivor benefits! Different rules apply to ex-spouse benefits if you were divorced. Also, if your boyfriend is on SSDI, make sure you understand how your income might affect his benefits and Medicare eligibility if you marry. SSA rules are INCREDIBLY complicated and I've seen so many people make costly mistakes.

have u told ur boyfriend about this? what does he think? maybe he'll understand waiting if it means more $$$ for both of u in the long run?

One more important thing to consider: If your late husband's benefit amount would be substantially higher than what you'd receive from your boyfriend's record (or your own record), waiting until after 60 to marry could mean tens of thousands of dollars more in lifetime benefits. This is especially true if your late husband was a high earner or had a long work history. At current benefit levels, the difference could easily be $500-$1,000 per month for the rest of your life.

random question but does anyone know if common law marriage counts for this 60 year rule?? My cousin is in a similar situation in Texas which is a common law state

This is such a tough situation, but you're smart to research this before making the decision! I'm a retired SSA employee and I can confirm what others have said - the age 60 rule is absolute. I've seen so many people lose out on substantial benefits because they didn't know about this timing requirement. Given that your late husband had a 30-year career in construction management, his benefit is likely going to be significantly higher than what you'd get from your own record or as a spouse on your boyfriend's SSDI. My advice would be to definitely get those benefit estimates before deciding, and seriously consider the commitment ceremony option someone mentioned. Five years might seem long now, but potentially losing $500-1000+ per month for the rest of your life is a huge financial sacrifice. Your boyfriend sounds understanding - hopefully he'll support waiting once he sees the actual dollar amounts involved.

This is exactly why I love this community - seeing everyone share their experiences and knowledge to help each other navigate these complex situations! Carmen, you're being so smart to research this thoroughly before making such an important decision. The fact that your late husband had a 30-year career in construction management while you worked part-time really does suggest his survivor benefit would likely be much higher than what you'd get otherwise. I think the commitment ceremony idea is brilliant - you get to celebrate your love and commitment now while preserving your financial security for the future. Five years may feel long, but when you're potentially looking at $500-1000+ difference per month for the rest of your life, it's really worth considering. Plus, it shows your boyfriend that you're serious about the relationship while also being financially responsible. Definitely get those benefit estimates from SSA (the Claimyr service someone mentioned sounds helpful for actually getting through to them). Once you have concrete numbers, this decision will probably feel much clearer. Wishing you the best with whatever you decide!

I'm new to this community but wanted to share some encouragement! My mother-in-law faced this exact decision about 6 years ago when she was 57. She chose to wait until after 60 to remarry and has told us many times it was absolutely the right choice financially. The difference in her monthly benefits ended up being around $800/month - which over her lifetime will be well over $100,000! She and her now-husband did exactly what others have suggested - they had a beautiful commitment ceremony with family and friends when she was 58, then did the legal marriage paperwork the month after she turned 60. Everyone understood the financial reasoning and it actually made their "real" wedding feel even more special because they had waited for it. Carmen, from what you've shared about your late husband's career versus your boyfriend's SSDI situation, waiting really seems like it could be worth hundreds of thousands of dollars over your lifetime. That's life-changing money! Your boyfriend sounds very understanding, and 5 years will pass before you know it. The commitment ceremony route lets you have your cake and eat it too. Good luck with whatever you decide!

Welcome to the community! As someone who works in financial planning, I see situations like yours quite often and you're absolutely asking the right questions. The age 60 rule for remarriage and survivor benefits is one of the most consequential Social Security rules that many people discover too late. Given what you've shared - your late husband's 30-year construction management career versus your part-time work history and your boyfriend's SSDI - there's almost certainly going to be a significant difference in monthly benefits. I've seen cases where waiting until 60 meant an extra $600-1200 per month for life. The commitment ceremony approach several people mentioned is honestly brilliant. You get to celebrate your relationship and make that emotional commitment now, while preserving what could easily be six figures in lifetime benefits. Most couples I've advised in similar situations who chose this path have zero regrets. One additional tip: when you do get those SSA benefit estimates, ask them to calculate what your survivor benefit would be at different claiming ages (60 vs full retirement age vs age 70). The timing of when you claim can make a huge difference in your monthly amount, and having that full picture will help you make the best long-term financial plan.

As a newcomer here, I'm really impressed by how helpful and knowledgeable this community is! Carmen, your situation is exactly why I joined this forum - navigating Social Security rules can be so overwhelming, especially when major life decisions are involved. From everything I've read in the responses, it seems like waiting until 60 to legally marry could potentially save you hundreds of thousands of dollars over your lifetime. The commitment ceremony idea that multiple people have suggested sounds like such a perfect compromise - you get to celebrate your love and commitment now while protecting your financial future. I'm curious - have you considered consulting with a financial advisor who specializes in Social Security planning? Sometimes they can help run different scenarios and show you the long-term impact of various decisions. Given the potentially huge financial stakes involved, it might be worth a consultation fee to get professional guidance alongside the SSA benefit estimates. Best of luck with whatever you decide! Your boyfriend sounds very understanding, which is wonderful. Five years might feel long now, but preserving what could be $500-1000+ per month for life seems like it would be worth the wait.

As a newcomer to this community, I'm really struck by how supportive everyone has been with such detailed, practical advice! Carmen, your situation highlights one of Social Security's most impactful but lesser-known rules. From what you've shared about your late husband's 30-year construction management career compared to your part-time work history and your boyfriend's SSDI, the financial difference could indeed be substantial. What really stands out to me is how many people have shared the commitment ceremony idea - it seems like such an elegant solution that lets you have your celebration now while preserving potentially six figures in lifetime benefits. The fact that multiple people have shared real success stories (like the mother-in-law who saved $800/month by waiting) really reinforces that this strategy works in practice, not just on paper. I'd echo the advice about getting those SSA benefit estimates as soon as possible. Having concrete numbers will make this decision much clearer for both you and your boyfriend. The Claimyr service someone mentioned sounds like it could save you a lot of frustration trying to reach SSA directly. You're being so smart to research this thoroughly before making such a major decision. Best of luck - I have a feeling you'll find a solution that works for both your heart and your wallet!

As a newcomer to this community, I'm incredibly impressed by the depth of knowledge and genuine care everyone has shown in helping Carmen navigate this complex situation! Reading through all these responses has been such an education on Social Security survivor benefits - I had no idea how critical the age 60 remarriage rule was. Carmen, from everything shared here, it really seems like the stars are aligning to suggest waiting until 60 would be the financially wise choice. Your late husband's 30-year construction management career versus your boyfriend's SSDI situation likely means a substantial monthly difference that could add up to hundreds of thousands over your lifetime. The commitment ceremony idea that multiple people have suggested is absolutely brilliant - you get to celebrate your love and commitment now while protecting your financial future. It's the best of both worlds! And hearing real success stories like the mother-in-law who saved $800/month by waiting really drives home that this strategy works in practice. I'd definitely encourage getting those SSA benefit estimates as soon as possible (the Claimyr service sounds promising for actually getting through to them). Once you have concrete numbers, this decision will probably feel much clearer for both you and your understanding boyfriend. Wishing you all the best as you navigate this important decision! This community is clearly here to support you whatever you choose.