Im still confused about something... if the husband takes SS at 62 but then keeps working, doesnt his benefit amount go up? And then wouldnt that mean the survivor benefit goes up too?

I'm in a very similar situation - my husband wants to claim at 62 and I'm torn between waiting until FRA or 70. One thing that's helped me think through this is using the SSA's online calculators to run different scenarios with our actual benefit estimates. What I discovered is that even though my husband claiming early reduces his benefit by about 30%, since my PIA is significantly higher than his, the survivor benefit question becomes less critical for our specific situation. If he passes first, I'd likely stick with my own higher benefit anyway. But here's what really opened my eyes: if I delay until 70 and then I'm the one who passes first, he would get my much higher benefit amount (including those delayed retirement credits) as his survivor benefit. That's a huge financial protection for him since his benefit will be permanently reduced from claiming early. So now I'm leaning toward letting him claim at 62 if that's what he wants, but definitely waiting until 70 myself. The 8% per year increase from 67 to 70 is just too good to pass up when you're the higher earner!

I've been a Social Security claims specialist for over 15 years and wanted to clarify a few points that seem to be causing confusion in this thread. First, the "deemed filing" rule mentioned by @Haley Bennett is absolutely correct and crucial to understand. When your wife files at 62, she's deemed to be filing for all benefits available to her at that time. When spousal benefits become available later (when you file), the reduction percentage is calculated as if she filed for spousal benefits at the same time she filed for her own benefit. Second, regarding the PIA calculations - several commenters have this right. The spousal benefit eligibility is determined by comparing her unreduced PIA to 50% of your unreduced PIA. If her PIA is $1,800 and yours is $3,100, then 50% of yours is $1,550. Since $1,800 > $1,550, she would receive NO spousal benefit regardless of filing timing. However, I'd strongly recommend double-checking her Social Security statement because many people misread the projected amounts. Make sure you're looking at her PIA (the amount at her full retirement age) not her reduced age 62 amount. Finally, given the complexity and the permanent nature of this decision, consider requesting a benefit estimate directly from SSA for your specific scenario. They can provide exact calculations based on both your earnings records. The phone wait times are frustrating, but this decision affects decades of income - it's worth the effort to get precise numbers.

As someone who recently went through this decision process with my own family, I can't emphasize enough how important it is to get your wife's exact PIA from her most recent Social Security statement. I initially thought my spouse's PIA was higher than it actually was, which completely changed our strategy. The deemed filing rule that @Jamal Washington mentioned is really the key issue here. Once your wife files at 62, she's locked into reductions on both her own benefit AND any future spousal benefit. There's no "do-over" or way to optimize later. One additional consideration that might help your decision: if your wife's PIA is actually low enough that she would qualify for spousal benefits, remember that she'll be getting her reduced own benefit PLUS a reduced spousal add-on. The total still might be less than what she'd get by waiting, but at least she'd have some income for those 5 years while you delay your filing. I'd also suggest running scenarios where one of you passes away earlier than expected. The surviving spouse gets the higher of the two benefits, so if you're the higher earner, maximizing your benefit by waiting until 70 could provide better survivor protection. Have you considered meeting with someone at your local SSA office? Sometimes seeing the actual calculations on paper helps clarify these complex interactions better than trying to figure it out from online resources.

My sister works for SSA and she says they get these questions all the time but their hands are tied by the law. Congress would need to change it to include domestic partners. Don't count on that happening anytime soon though...

I'm in a very similar situation with my partner of 38 years. We never married for personal reasons, but now I'm realizing the financial implications as we approach retirement age. After reading through all these responses, it seems like marriage really is the only viable option for Social Security survivor benefits. One thing I want to add is that you might also want to look into maximizing other forms of financial protection that don't depend on marital status - like life insurance, retirement account beneficiaries, and joint ownership of assets. While these won't replace Social Security survivor benefits, they can help bridge some of the financial gap. I know it's not the answer you were hoping for, but the 9-month marriage rule might be your best bet. My partner and I are actually considering it ourselves now, even though it feels strange after nearly four decades together. Sometimes you have to work within an imperfect system to protect the person you love.

This is fascinating! I had no idea that Social Security survivor benefits worked this way. I'm a recent widow myself (my husband passed 8 months ago) and I've been receiving his full survivor benefit. But reading this thread makes me wonder - he was married once before for about 14 years before we met. Does this mean his ex-wife could also be collecting survivor benefits on his record? We never kept in touch after the divorce, so I have no idea if she even knows he passed away. It's strange to think that Social Security might be paying out benefits to both of us without either of us knowing about the other. The system really is more generous than I expected, but also seems like it could lead to some awkward situations if people found out about each other!

Wow, this whole discussion has blown my mind! I'm 45 and going through a divorce right now after 16 years of marriage. My husband has always been pretty secretive about his finances and Social Security stuff, but now I'm realizing I need to understand these benefits better for my own future planning. Reading about all these ex-wives getting full survivor benefits makes me feel a bit better about my financial security down the road - I had no idea I might be eligible for benefits based on his record even after we're divorced. Does anyone know if there are any good resources for understanding all the different Social Security rules? The SSA website is so confusing and full of legal jargon. I feel like I need a crash course in Social Security 101!

Just wanted to update everyone - I just found a somewhat hidden feature in the my Social Security portal that gives more comparison options. After you log in, go to 'Plan for Retirement' (not the basic benefit calculator), then click 'Compare Retirement Options.' This tool lets you create and compare different scenarios with sliders for retirement age and future earnings. Still not a complete matrix, but much better than running one calculation at a time. Hope this helps!

I'm glad you found that comparison tool helpful! Another tip - if you're planning to work part-time after claiming benefits, make sure to factor in not just the earnings test but also how those continued earnings might actually increase your benefit amount. SSA recalculates your benefit each year if you have new earnings that are higher than one of the 35 years they used in your original calculation. So even if some benefits get withheld initially due to the earnings test, you could end up with a permanently higher monthly benefit once you stop working or reach FRA. It's another variable that makes the decision more complex but could work in your favor!