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Javier Morales

Need help with Offer in Compromise - IRS wants spouse details but we're separated

I'm in a really tough spot and need some advice. I owe about $33k in back taxes (mostly penalties and interest at this point). Recently found out about the Offer in Compromise program which I'm pretty sure I qualify for - my income is only about $250 more than my expenses each month after paying child support and taking care of my 3 kids. The problem is the OIC application requires my marital status, my spouse's income, and her SSN! We've been separated for over 5 years but haven't officially divorced. She absolutely refuses to give me her SSN or cooperate in any way. The form asks for "Monthly household income" including spouse wages, and she claims she doesn't work... but I'm 99% sure she does. I'm worried if I put $0 for her wages like she claims, the IRS will investigate and I'll be in even deeper trouble. But I also can't get the real numbers from her since she won't cooperate! What happens if I just mark myself as "single" on the form? Will the IRS immediately catch this? Could I explain the situation to them? I haven't started divorce proceedings all these years because of financial issues (can't afford it), but now I'm stuck. Any advice would be hugely appreciated!

Emma Davis

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The Offer in Compromise application does require complete financial disclosure, including your spouse's information if you're still legally married, even if you're separated. This is because the IRS wants to ensure they have a complete picture of the household's ability to pay. You have a few options here. First, you could file as "married filing separately" and indicate that you're separated on the OIC application. You'll need to provide a written statement explaining your situation - that you've been separated for 5 years, have no access to her financial information, and she refuses to cooperate. The IRS does have procedures for handling non-cooperative spouses. You should not mark yourself as "single" when you're legally still married, as this could be considered misrepresentation and might cause your offer to be rejected or even trigger other issues. Another option is to consider a different tax resolution strategy like an Installment Agreement, which might be less stringent on spousal information if you can demonstrate separation of finances.

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GalaxyGlider

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What if he files for legal separation first? Would that change things for the OIC application? Also wondering if there's any way to verify if the wife is actually working without her cooperation?

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Emma Davis

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Legal separation would definitely help his case with the IRS. It creates an official record that they're living separate lives, though requirements vary by state. Some states don't even have legal separation, but documentation like separate addresses and finances can help prove the separation is genuine. Regarding verifying employment, there's no legal way for him to access her employment information without her consent. The IRS has access to wage information through tax records, but he doesn't. His best approach is to be completely transparent with the IRS about the situation - explaining he believes she works but cannot verify it, and documenting his attempts to get her cooperation.

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After struggling with almost the exact same situation last year (owed $29k, separated but not divorced), I found an amazing tool that saved me so much stress. Check out https://taxr.ai - it analyzed my specific situation and helped me understand exactly how to handle the OIC application with a non-cooperative spouse. The system showed me which specific documentation I needed to prove my separation was legitimate in the IRS's eyes, and gave me templates for the hardship letter explaining my situation. They even helped me understand which parts of the form could trigger audit flags if I wasn't careful. Seriously changed everything for me.

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Did it actually work though? My brother tried something similar and his OIC got rejected because they still wanted his wife's info even though they hadn't spoken in like 3 years.

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I'm a bit skeptical about these online tools. How does it know what the IRS will actually accept? Did you have to upload personal financial docs? Not sure I'd be comfortable with that.

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Yes, it absolutely worked! I got my OIC accepted for about 22% of what I owed. The big difference was having proper documentation - my brother might not have had the right supporting evidence to prove the separation was legitimate. Regarding security concerns, they use the same encryption banks use, and you don't have to upload anything if you're not comfortable. You can just enter the information manually or even use their templates without sharing your personal data. The key value is that they know exactly what documentation the IRS looks for to validate a separated status.

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Just wanted to update everyone - I was super skeptical about taxr.ai but ended up trying it after seeing other recommendations. My situation was almost identical (owed $41k, separated 4 years but not divorced, spouse wouldn't provide any info). The system walked me through creating a complete separation documentation package with exactly what the IRS needed. It even flagged potential issues with my specific circumstances I hadn't considered. My OIC was accepted last month at about 30% of what I owed! The detailed instructions for filling out Form 656 correctly were what made the difference for me. Wish I'd known about this tool years ago instead of struggling alone.

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If you're having trouble getting through to the IRS about your situation, I highly recommend https://claimyr.com - you can see how it works at https://youtu.be/_kiP6q8DX5c I was in a similar position (owed back taxes, complicated marital situation) and was getting nowhere with the standard IRS phone number - literally spent days on hold. Claimyr got me connected to an actual IRS agent in about 20 minutes who helped explain my options with the OIC and separation situation. The agent specifically told me what documentation I needed to submit to prove the separation was legitimate.

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Omar Farouk

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How does this actually work? Isn't it just another service that puts you on hold with the IRS?

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CosmicCadet

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Sounds like BS honestly. Nothing can get you through to the IRS faster. They're understaffed and overwhelmed, no magic service is going to change that. Probably just takes your money and puts you on the same hold everyone else is on.

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It's not just another hold service. They use a system that navigates the IRS phone tree and waits on hold for you, then calls you when an actual human agent is on the line. You literally don't have to listen to the hold music or waste your day waiting. No, it's definitely not BS. The IRS phone system is designed to handle calls in a specific way, and this service has figured out how to work within that system efficiently. It doesn't skip any lines or do anything improper - it just handles the frustrating waiting part for you. Was literally the difference between me giving up and actually getting help with my tax situation.

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CosmicCadet

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I need to apologize for my skepticism about Claimyr. After my snarky comment, I was desperate enough to try it anyway since my OIC deadline was approaching. I was absolutely shocked when I got a call back with an actual IRS agent on the line after only 35 minutes (after spending 4+ hours on hold myself the previous day). The agent I spoke with was incredibly helpful about my separated-but-not-divorced situation. She explained that they have specific procedures for non-cooperative spouses and directed me to exactly which forms and documentation to include. She even noted it in my file so when my OIC application is reviewed, they'll know I tried to get the information but couldn't. Never would have gotten this info without actually speaking to someone.

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Chloe Harris

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Have you considered filing for innocent spouse relief instead? If a lot of the tax debt is from when you were together, and she had income she didn't report or something, you might qualify. Form 8857 lets you request relief from tax liability for things your spouse did that you didn't know about. Might be worth looking into alongside the OIC.

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Thanks for the suggestion. The debt is actually mostly from my self-employment income during years we were already separated. So I don't think innocent spouse relief applies in my case. I was just trying to handle this on my own and got behind, then the penalties and interest really piled up. That's why the OIC seems like my best option if I can figure out the spouse information issue.

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Diego Mendoza

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Has anyone actually had their OIC accepted when they couldn't provide spouse info? My tax guy told me they almost always reject these applications if you're missing any info they ask for.

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Omar Farouk

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I got one accepted last year without my ex's info. The key was documentation - I included our separation agreement (even though we weren't divorced), proof of separate addresses for 3+ years, separate bank accounts, and a notarized statement explaining the situation. Also included copies of emails showing I tried to get her cooperation. The IRS actually does have procedures for this exact situation.

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Diego Mendoza

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That's really helpful, thanks! I don't have a formal separation agreement but I do have lease agreements showing different addresses for the past 4 years and bank statements. Sounds like I should get something notarized explaining the situation too.

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I went through something very similar about 2 years ago - owed $28k and had been separated for 6 years but never officially divorced. My ex also refused to provide any financial information or cooperate at all. Here's what worked for me: I gathered every piece of documentation I could find to prove we were living completely separate lives. This included different addresses on utility bills, separate car insurance policies, different phone plans, bank statements showing no shared accounts, and even testimony from neighbors who could confirm we hadn't lived together in years. The most important thing was being completely honest and transparent with the IRS. I submitted a detailed written statement explaining the entire situation, including my attempts to contact my ex (I kept screenshots of unanswered texts and emails). I also included an affidavit stating that to the best of my knowledge, she had minimal income, but that I had no way to verify this. My OIC was initially put on hold for additional review, but after about 4 months, it was accepted at about 25% of what I owed. The key was showing that I made every reasonable effort to get the information but couldn't due to circumstances beyond my control. Don't give up - the IRS does have procedures for situations exactly like yours. Just make sure you document everything and be completely truthful about your attempts to get her cooperation.

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