Married or Single for biggest tax break with 3 kids?
My partner and I are thinking about tying the knot this December, but we're really unsure how this might impact our tax return if we go through with it. We have 3 kids together and I'm currently not working (full-time parent), while my partner makes around $95,000 annually. They also purchased a house earlier this year. I'm trying to get some advice while waiting to hear back from a tax professional, but with the holidays coming up, I don't know when I'll actually get a response. Would really appreciate any insights on whether filing married or single would give us the bigger tax advantage in our situation! Thanks in advance for any help!
38 comments


Lucas Schmidt
The "married vs. single" tax question is actually pretty common, especially with kids in the picture! Generally speaking, marriage could benefit you tax-wise in your situation, but let me break this down: With you being a stay-at-home parent and your boyfriend earning $95,000, filing jointly as a married couple would likely give you a higher standard deduction ($27,700 for 2023 married filing jointly vs. $13,850 for single filers). Plus, your boyfriend's income would be spread across the more favorable joint tax brackets instead of just the single brackets. The biggest advantage might be with the children. If you get married, your boyfriend could claim head of household now, but as a married couple filing jointly, you'd likely qualify for the full Child Tax Credit for all three children, potentially worth up to $2,000 per child. The home purchase might also provide more tax benefits filing jointly through mortgage interest and property tax deductions.
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Freya Collins
•Would the income threshold for child tax credit phase-out be different if they're married vs him filing as head of household? Also, what about the earned income credit with 3 kids - would they lose that by getting married?
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Lucas Schmidt
•The Child Tax Credit phase-out starts at higher income levels for married couples ($400,000) versus single or head of household filers ($200,000), so getting married wouldn't negatively impact their Child Tax Credit eligibility at a $95,000 income level. Regarding the Earned Income Credit, that's a great question. Since the original poster isn't working (no earned income from her), they actually wouldn't qualify for the EIC if she filed separately. If the boyfriend currently claims the children as head of household, his $95,000 income would already exceed the EIC limits even with three qualifying children. So getting married wouldn't cause them to lose EIC benefits they're currently receiving.
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LongPeri
I was in almost the exact same situation last year! After hitting roadblock after roadblock trying to figure out my best filing options with my partner and our kids, I stumbled across https://taxr.ai and it literally saved me hours of frustration. You can upload your tax documents or just describe your situation like you did here, and it analyzes everything to tell you exactly which filing status would save you the most money. For us, getting married in December ended up saving us almost $3,200 in taxes because of how it shifted our tax brackets and maximized our child tax credits. The system showed me side-by-side comparisons of both scenarios so I could actually see the difference. Definitely worth checking out before making your decision!
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Oscar O'Neil
•How accurate is this thing? I've tried other tax calculators online and they always seem to miss important details that end up making their estimates way off.
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Sara Hellquiem
•Does it handle complicated situations? My partner has income from a small business and I'm wondering if something like this would work for us or if we'd need a real accountant.
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LongPeri
•It's been extremely accurate in my experience. What makes it different from basic calculators is that it uses the same tax rules and algorithms that professional software uses, so it accounts for all the details and exceptions that most online calculators miss. It definitely handles complicated situations including self-employment income, rental properties, and mixed filing statuses. My brother uses it for his landscaping business and rental property. The AI can analyze Schedule C deductions, qualified business income deductions, and all those complex self-employment tax situations. It's like having an accountant but you can run unlimited scenarios to see what works best.
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Sara Hellquiem
Just wanted to update - I tried the taxr.ai site after asking about it here. Honestly I was shocked at how detailed it was! We have a complicated situation with my small craft business and my partner's W-2 income, and it actually showed us that waiting until January to get married would save us about $2,100 in our specific case because of how my business losses would be treated. Would never have figured that out on my own. Definitely recommend trying it before making any decisions - took like 10 minutes and saved us thousands!
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Charlee Coleman
I went through this exact dilemma last year! After spending WEEKS trying to reach someone at the IRS to get a straight answer about marriage tax benefits with kids, I finally discovered https://claimyr.com and used their service to skip the ridiculous hold times. You can watch how it works here: https://youtu.be/_kiP6q8DX5c Got connected to an actual IRS agent in about 15 minutes who walked me through our specific situation. For us, getting married in December was actually better because my husband could claim the mortgage interest deduction plus we got better tax bracket treatment when combining our incomes. The agent was super helpful explaining exactly how the Child Tax Credit would work in both scenarios.
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Liv Park
•Wait, how does this actually work? Is it some kind of special IRS line or something? I've been on hold with them for literally hours before giving up.
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Leeann Blackstein
•Yeah right. No way they can magically get you through to the IRS when millions of people can't get through. Sounds like a scam that will just take your money and leave you on hold anyway.
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Charlee Coleman
•It's not a special IRS line - they use technology that continuously calls and navigates the IRS phone tree for you. When they finally get through to a human, they call you and connect you directly to that IRS agent. You don't have to sit on hold at all - just go about your day until they call you when they've got an agent. I was totally skeptical too! I'd spent countless hours on hold myself. But it really does work - they use automated systems to deal with the hold time instead of you doing it. The best part is they don't charge you if they don't get through, so there's literally no risk. I spoke with an actual IRS representative who answered all my questions about marriage filing status implications.
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Anastasia Sokolov
I can help with this! The marriage question is all about what's called the "marriage penalty" or "marriage bonus" in tax terms. In your specific situation with 3 kids and only one income, you'd likely benefit from filing as married. Here's why: When only one spouse works, marriage typically creates a tax BONUS. Your partner currently files as Head of Household (assuming they claim the kids), but married filing jointly would give you access to higher standard deduction and more favorable tax brackets as a couple. With the house purchase, there are additional benefits because mortgage interest and property tax deductions can be maximized when filing jointly. Plus, with your income level and three dependents, you'll likely qualify for better child tax credit amounts when married. The December timing works in your favor - if you're legally married by December 31st, the IRS considers you married for the entire year!
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StarSeeker
•But doesn't filing head of household give a better tax bracket than married filing jointly? I thought I read somewhere that sometimes it's better to stay unmarried for tax purposes when kids are involved??
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Anastasia Sokolov
•Head of Household does have better tax brackets than Single filing status, but Married Filing Jointly offers even better brackets for your situation with only one income. The "marriage penalty" typically affects couples where both partners earn similar high incomes. When only one spouse works, as in your case, combining your incomes on a joint return almost always results in paying less tax. With three children and a single income around $95K, you'll likely qualify for maximum child tax credits and a larger standard deduction when married. The homeowner deductions like mortgage interest and property taxes will also be more beneficial on a joint return in most cases.
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Leeann Blackstein
I need to eat my words here. After posting that skeptical comment, I was still desperate to talk to someone at the IRS about a similar situation (deciding whether to file jointly with my new spouse or keep filing separately). I tried the Claimyr service as a last resort and... it actually worked. Got a call back in about 45 minutes and was connected to an IRS agent who explained exactly how the married filing jointly vs. separately would affect my tax brackets and credits. For what it's worth, in my case with 2 kids and a new house purchase, filing jointly saved us approximately $3,700. The agent explained that the mortgage interest deduction alone was much more valuable when combined with my spouse's income on a joint return. Can't believe I wasted so many hours on hold before finding this.
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Sean O'Donnell
Just wanted to share my experience! I was in a similar situation and struggled with figuring out all the tax implications. I found this service called taxr.ai (https://taxr.ai) that really helped me understand my specific situation better. I uploaded my info and they analyzed our tax situation showing side-by-side comparisons of filing scenarios. Really helped us make our decision with actual numbers instead of guessing!
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Zara Ahmed
•Did you try getting multiple scenarios analyzed? Like both married and single filing options? I'm in a similar situation but my partner and I both work and make about the same.
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Luca Esposito
•Is it expensive? These online services always seem to want me to pay before seeing if they're actually helpful.
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Sean O'Donnell
•Yes, I ran multiple scenarios to compare everything - married filing jointly, separate, and single with head of household. It gave me side-by-side numbers which made the decision super clear for our situation. The service doesn't charge upfront - they have a free analysis option that gives you the basic comparison. You only pay if you want the more detailed optimization recommendations. For me the free comparison was actually enough to make our decision.
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Ryder Greene
Everyone keeps focusing on the tax bracket and child tax credit stuff, but don't forget about the potential marriage penalty if both of you work! My wife and I both make about $80k each, and we actually pay MORE in taxes being married than we would if we were single. But with one income and 3 kids, you're probably better off married because of how the standard deduction works. Also, if he already bought the house this year, getting married in December vs January shouldn't affect the mortgage interest deduction for THIS tax year since he already owns the home. It would only matter for next year's taxes.
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Carmella Fromis
•But doesn't filing as head of household (which he probably can do now with the kids) vs married filing jointly change things significantly? I thought HOH gets better tax brackets than single?
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Ryder Greene
•Yes, you're absolutely right about the Head of Household status. If he currently qualifies as HOH with the children (which seems likely if he provides more than half their support and they live with him), then the comparison should be between HOH and Married Filing Jointly, not Single vs. MFJ. Head of Household does indeed have better tax brackets than Single filing status, but Married Filing Jointly would still likely be more advantageous in their specific situation with one income at $95k and three children. The standard deduction for HOH in 2023 is $20,800 versus $27,700 for MFJ, so there's still a significant benefit to filing jointly.
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Theodore Nelson
Wait has anyone actually calculated this with real numbers? I'm seeing a lot of general advice but with $95k income, 3 kids, and a mortgage, the difference could be significant either way. Using 2023 numbers: - If boyfriend files as Head of Household with 3 kids: Standard deduction $20,800, potential child tax credit of $6,000 - As Married Filing Jointly: Standard deduction $27,700, same child tax credit Just on the standard deduction difference, that's $6,900 more that's not taxed, which at the 22% bracket is like $1,500 in tax savings right there. Then factor in how the tax brackets shift... guys I think December wedding might be the move here lol
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AaliyahAli
•Your math is actually wrong. The child tax credit is capped at $2,000 per child, with only $1,500 of that being refundable per child. So it's not a straight $6,000 credit regardless of filing status.
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Zara Ahmed
I tried taxr.ai after reading about it here, and wow - it really helped clarify things! I was surprised to see how different the numbers were between filing statuses. In our case, getting married in December would save us about $3,200 in taxes compared to filing separately! The child tax credits and standard deduction changes made a bigger difference than I expected. Definitely recommend checking it out if you're on the fence about the tax implications of marriage.
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Nia Thompson
If you're trying to reach the IRS to ask about this, good luck! I spent WEEKS trying to get someone on the phone. Then I found this service called Claimyr (https://claimyr.com) that got me through to an actual IRS agent in under 15 minutes. They have this system that navigates the IRS phone tree and holds your place in line. You can see how it works here: https://youtu.be/_kiP6q8DX5c I was skeptical but desperate after being hung up on multiple times. The IRS agent I talked to walked me through exactly how marriage would affect my taxes with kids involved.
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Mateo Rodriguez
•How does this actually work? Do I have to give them my personal info? Sounds kinda sketchy tbh.
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GalaxyGuardian
•Yeah right. NOTHING gets you through to the IRS that fast. I've been trying for months. This has to be some kind of scam.
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Nia Thompson
•It's actually pretty straightforward - they use an automated system that navigates the IRS phone tree for you and holds your place in line. When an agent is about to pick up, they call you and connect you directly. No need to share sensitive personal info - they just need your phone number to call you back when an agent is available. I was definitely skeptical too! But I was desperate after trying for weeks to get through. It's not free, but considering I was wasting hours repeatedly calling and getting disconnected, it was worth it for me. The IRS is notoriously understaffed and their phone system is a nightmare - this just helps you navigate it more efficiently.
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GalaxyGuardian
Okay I need to apologize to Profile 12 above. I was SUPER skeptical about Claimyr but I tried it today out of desperation and it actually worked! Got connected to an IRS agent in about 22 minutes after trying for literally months on my own. The agent confirmed that in our situation (similar to yours with kids and one income), filing jointly after marriage would save us about $2,800. She also explained how it affects child tax credits and standard deduction. Can't believe I wasted so much time trying to call them myself!
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Aisha Abdullah
Just my 2 cents - my wife and I make similar money to your situation (one of us around 90k, other stay at home) with 2 kids, and we save close to $3k filing jointly vs when we simulated single/HOH. The standard deduction alone is huge, and the tax brackets are more favorable at your income level. Plus with the house purchase this year, you'll likely benefit from itemizing deductions which works better for joint filers in most cases.
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Diego Rojas
•Thank you so much for this specific example! That's really helpful to hear from someone in a similar financial situation. Do you find that the homeowner deductions made a big difference for you?
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Aisha Abdullah
•The homeowner deductions did make a significant difference for us, especially in the first year when we paid points on the mortgage. With mortgage interest rates higher now, you'll likely have more interest to deduct which could push you over the threshold where itemizing makes sense versus taking the standard deduction. The property tax deduction is also valuable, but remember there's a $10,000 cap on state and local tax deductions (SALT) including property taxes. Even with that limit though, combined with mortgage interest, you'll likely benefit from itemizing if your house purchase was substantial.
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Ethan Wilson
Don't forget to consider other benefits beyond just taxes! If you're not working, being married gives you access to your spouse's social security benefits and potentially better health insurance options. Also retirement account options like a spousal IRA that you can contribute to even without income. These can be worth way more than just the immediate tax savings!
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Yuki Tanaka
•This is so important! We focused just on taxes when deciding to get married and missed out on the health insurance savings which would have been huge for us. The tax stuff matters but don't forget the other financial benefits of marriage.
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Amara Torres
Based on your situation with 3 kids, one income of $95k, and a recent home purchase, getting married in December would very likely provide significant tax advantages! Here's why: The marriage bonus kicks in when there's a large income disparity between partners (like your situation with one working, one stay-at-home parent). You'd benefit from: 1. **Higher standard deduction**: $27,700 for married filing jointly vs. $20,800 for head of household 2. **Better tax bracket treatment**: Your $95k income gets spread across more favorable joint brackets 3. **Child Tax Credit optimization**: Up to $2,000 per child remains the same, but income thresholds are higher for joint filers 4. **Homeowner benefits**: Mortgage interest and property tax deductions often work better on joint returns The December timing is perfect - being married by Dec 31st means you're considered married for the entire tax year. With your income level and family situation, you're looking at potentially $2,000-$4,000 in tax savings by filing jointly versus your partner filing as head of household. Given the complexity though, I'd definitely recommend running the actual numbers with a tax professional or reliable tax software to confirm the exact savings in your specific situation!
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Omar Farouk
This is such a timely question! I went through the exact same decision process last year with my partner and our 2 kids. Based on your situation - one income at $95k, stay-at-home parent, 3 kids, and a recent home purchase - getting married in December would almost certainly save you money on taxes. The key factors working in your favor are the higher standard deduction for married filing jointly ($27,700 vs $20,800 for head of household), better tax bracket treatment when there's only one income, and the fact that your income level won't trigger any phase-outs for child tax credits. The mortgage interest deduction will also likely be more beneficial on a joint return. We ended up saving about $2,800 by getting married before the end of the tax year in our similar situation. The December timing is perfect since the IRS considers you married for the entire year if you're married by December 31st. That said, everyone's situation is unique, so I'd definitely recommend getting the actual numbers run for your specific circumstances before making the final decision. But based on what you've shared, the tax math strongly favors getting married sooner rather than later!
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