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Norman Fraser

Married or Single for biggest tax break with 3 kids and new home purchase?

My boyfriend and I have been tossing around the idea of tying the knot before the end of December, but we're not sure how that might impact our tax situation for next year. We have 3 kids together and I'm currently not working to take care of them full-time. He brings in about $95,000 annually and just purchased a house this past summer. I've been trying to reach out to a tax professional, but with the holidays coming up, responses are slow. Would getting married this December give us a better tax break compared to filing separately? Any insights would be really appreciated while I wait to hear back from a professional!

In most cases, getting married in December will allow you to file as "Married Filing Jointly" for the entire tax year, which typically benefits couples in your situation. With one income and three dependents, filing jointly would likely give you a better tax outcome than filing as Single and Head of Household. The primary benefits would be: a larger standard deduction (currently $27,700 for 2023 for married filing jointly vs. $20,800 for head of household), potentially lower tax brackets for that $95K income when spread across two people, and possibly qualifying for more tax credits. Plus, with the new home purchase, you'd be able to deduct mortgage interest and property taxes if you itemize. However, there are some situations where a "marriage penalty" can occur, though these typically affect couples where both partners have similar high incomes, which doesn't seem to be your case.

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Would they still get the earned income credit if they get married? I heard somewhere that marriage can mess that up and it's a pretty big credit when you have kids.

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The Earned Income Tax Credit (EITC) is still available when married filing jointly, but the income thresholds do change. With three qualifying children and one income of $95,000, they would likely exceed the income limit for EITC regardless of filing status. For the Child Tax Credit, which is worth up to $2,000 per qualifying child, the income phaseout begins at a higher threshold for married couples ($400,000) than for single filers ($200,000), so getting married would actually be beneficial for maintaining eligibility for this credit at their income level.

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I was in almost this exact situation last year! My partner and I were on the fence about getting married in December, and we decided to check out https://taxr.ai first. You upload your documents and it gives you a comparison of filing single vs. married. For us, getting married saved us about $3,200! The mortgage interest deduction was a big factor since my partner bought our house that year too. I'd definitely recommend running your specific numbers through their calculator before deciding. It took less than 10 minutes to get a clear answer for our situation, and we ended up having a small ceremony on December 28th to lock in those tax benefits!

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Does this work if I already filed this year? I'm wondering if I can still check what the difference would have been. My girlfriend and I have been together for 6 years and have 2 kids. I'm always curious if we're leaving money on the table.

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I'm skeptical about these online tax calculators. Do they actually give accurate info? I tried something similar before and it said I'd save money getting married but then my friend who's an accountant said it wasn't considering state taxes correctly.

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Yes, you can definitely use it to compare previous years' filings! Just upload your old documents and it will show what the difference would have been. It's a great way to see if you might want to consider marriage for future tax years. The calculator actually accounts for both federal and state taxes. I had the same concern initially, but they explain how they handle each state's specific tax rules. What impressed me was that it caught some state-specific deductions my previous tax software missed. It's much more comprehensive than the basic calculators you find online.

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So I decided to try taxr.ai after seeing that recommendation here, and wow... I'm actually kind of shocked. My partner and I have 2 kids and I make about $88k while she works part-time making around $25k. The tool showed we'd save about $4,100 by getting married, mainly because of how the tax brackets work with our income split and the increased standard deduction. I was really skeptical at first (as you could probably tell from my earlier comment), but the breakdown they provided made perfect sense - it showed exactly which deductions and credits would change and by how much. The mortgage interest deduction plays a big role too since we bought our house this year. We're seriously considering having a quick ceremony before December 31st now!

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If you're having trouble reaching the IRS to ask questions about how marriage might affect your specific tax situation, try https://claimyr.com - it's been a lifesaver for me. I spent WEEKS trying to get through to an IRS agent earlier this year when I had a similar question about filing status changes. Their service basically holds your place in the IRS phone queue and calls you when an agent is about to answer. You can watch how it works here: https://youtu.be/_kiP6q8DX5c - it's pretty impressive! I got through to a real person in about 45 minutes instead of waiting on hold for 3+ hours or getting disconnected. The IRS agent I spoke with was actually super helpful about explaining exactly how marriage would impact my tax situation with dependents.

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Wait, you're saying there's actually a way to talk to a real IRS person? I tried calling them 6 times last year and gave up. How much does this service cost? Seems too good to be true honestly.

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This sounds like a scam. Why would I trust some random service with my tax questions when they're just going to connect me with the same IRS agents? Wouldn't it be better to just keep trying the official number yourself?

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The service just gets you through the phone queue faster - you still talk directly to official IRS agents once connected. It's basically like having someone wait on hold for you. I felt the same way about trying the regular IRS number myself, but after getting disconnected three times and wasting almost 9 hours total on hold, I was desperate for another option. The difference was night and day - I didn't have to keep my phone tied up all day, and I actually got my questions answered. Their system just navigates the IRS phone tree and waits in the queue for you, then calls you when an agent is about to pick up.

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I have to admit I was completely wrong about Claimyr. After posting my skeptical comment, I decided to give it a try since I needed answers about marriage and taxes before December. I figured if it was a scam, I'd come back and warn everyone. Well, I'm genuinely shocked - I got through to an IRS representative in about 35 minutes (after trying for DAYS on my own). The agent walked me through exactly how getting married would affect my tax situation with my two kids and new mortgage. Turns out I'll save approximately $3,100 by getting married before the end of the year! Much better than the "marriage penalty" I was worried about. Just wanted to update since this might help the original poster make their decision before December ends.

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Remember that marriage is a LOT more than just taxes! My husband and I got married last December for the tax benefits (saved about $2,800) but there's other stuff to consider too - health insurance benefits if one of you has good coverage through work, legal protections, etc. Don't just do it for taxes, but it sounds like in your case it would probably be beneficial financially.

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Thank you for bringing this up! You're absolutely right that there's more to consider than just the tax implications. We've been together for 6 years and were planning to get married next summer anyway, but we're considering moving it up for practical reasons. Health insurance is actually another factor since his employer offers really good family coverage that would be cheaper than what we currently have for the kids. Did you do a small ceremony just to make it official or did you rush your bigger wedding plans?

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We did a super small ceremony at the courthouse with just our parents and closest friends - took about 20 minutes! Then we had our "real" wedding with all the traditional stuff the following summer as we'd originally planned. Most people had no idea we were already legally married for 7 months when we had our big ceremony. It was actually nice because we were way less stressed about the paperwork part during the summer wedding since that was already taken care of. Plus we used some of the tax savings to upgrade a few things for the summer celebration!

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just wanna add - don't forget to consider how this affects your health insurance situation too. sometimes getting married can make you ineligible for certain subsidies if combined income goes up. happened to my sister and she ended up paying way more for health insurance after marriage even tho they saved on taxes.

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Ev Luca

This is an important point. If either of you is receiving premium tax credits for ACA marketplace insurance, getting married could change your subsidy amount. The combined income might push you into a different subsidy tier.

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Also consider HOW you file when married. You can do married filing jointly or married filing separately. Most of the time joint is better but sometimes separate makes sense. Like if one of you has lots of medical expenses or other itemized deductions that have AGI thresholds, sometimes filing separately can help. Just another thing to think about!

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Great question! Based on your situation, getting married in December would very likely benefit you tax-wise. With one income of $95K, three kids, and a new home purchase, you'd probably see significant savings filing jointly vs. separately. A few quick things to consider: You'd get the larger married filing jointly standard deduction ($27,700 vs. $20,800 for head of household), your income would be in lower tax brackets when filing jointly, and you can fully utilize that mortgage interest deduction. The Child Tax Credit would also be more secure at your income level when married. However, definitely run the actual numbers first - either through one of the calculators mentioned here or by speaking with a tax professional. Every situation is unique, and you want to be sure before making such an important decision. The marriage itself should be about more than just taxes, but it sounds like the financial benefits would be a nice bonus to your existing plans!

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