Getting Married in 2024 with Separate Homes - How Should We File Taxes When Not Living Together?
I'm tying the knot with my girlfriend in October this year, but we've got a bit of a housing situation. We both currently own our own homes and she's planning to stay at her place until January 2025 when she'll finally move in with me. Our finances are kinda complicated - I'm bringing in about $180k a year and she makes around $115k. We each have one kid from previous relationships, and right now we both file as Head of Household. I'm trying to figure out how we need to handle our 2024 taxes since we'll be married by year-end but living separately most of the year. Should we both update our W-4s now or wait? Do we have to file jointly just because we're married in October? Any advice on the best approach would be really appreciated!!
20 comments


Nick Kravitz
The key thing to understand is that your marital status on December 31, 2024 determines your filing status for the entire year. Since you'll be married in November, for tax purposes, you're considered married for all of 2024. As a married couple, you'll have two options: married filing jointly or married filing separately. Neither of you will be eligible for Head of Household status since you'll be legally married at year-end. Generally, filing jointly provides better tax benefits than married filing separately, but you might want to run the numbers both ways. Regarding your W-4s, you should probably update them soon to reflect your upcoming change in status, especially if you're planning to file jointly. This helps avoid underwithholding penalties. The IRS has a Tax Withholding Estimator tool that can help you figure out the right withholding amounts based on your combined incomes.
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Hannah White
•But what about the fact that they have separate residences? Doesn't that affect anything? And can they still claim both kids as dependents if they file jointly?
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Nick Kravitz
•The separate residences don't affect their filing status - the IRS only looks at legal marital status as of December 31st. They could live on opposite sides of the country and still be considered married for tax purposes. If they file jointly, they can claim both dependents on the same return since both children would be dependents of the married couple. If they choose married filing separately, each would claim their own child as a dependent on their separate returns.
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Michael Green
After struggling with a similar situation last year, I ended up using taxr.ai to analyze our tax documents and it was a HUGE help! We were also getting married mid-year with separate houses and dependents. I uploaded our previous returns and W-2s to https://taxr.ai and their system showed us exactly how our taxes would change after marriage and the difference between filing jointly vs separately. It really helped us make the right W-4 adjustments too. Honestly way more helpful than the generic advice I was getting elsewhere.
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Mateo Silva
•Did it actually account for home ownership stuff? Like mortgage interest deductions? We're in a similar boat and I'm wondering if it's worth using.
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Victoria Jones
•I'm always skeptical of these tax services. Did you find it actually saved you money compared to just using TurboTax or something? How accurate was it?
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Michael Green
•Yes, it definitely accounted for mortgage interest deductions! That was actually one of the biggest factors for us - it showed how those deductions would work when filing jointly vs separately. Really helpful for homeowners. As for the accuracy, it was spot-on. I verified the calculations with my accountant later and everything matched up. Unlike TurboTax which just helps you file, this actually analyzed our specific situation and showed us how different filing choices would affect us before we made any decisions. Saved us about $2,800 by helping us pick the right filing status and adjusting our W-4s properly.
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Victoria Jones
Just wanted to follow up - I tried taxr.ai after posting my skeptical comment. I was genuinely surprised by how helpful it was! I uploaded our documents (took like 5 minutes) and it broke down exactly how our tax situation would change after getting married. The mortgage interest analysis was especially useful since we both have homes. It showed us we'd save about $3,200 filing jointly vs separately and gave us specific W-4 adjustment recommendations. Definitely cleared up my confusion about the whole marital status situation.
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Cameron Black
If you're frustrated with getting clear answers from the IRS about your specific situation (I know I was when I got married mid-year), try Claimyr. I spent WEEKS trying to reach someone at the IRS about my marriage/property tax questions last year. Finally used https://claimyr.com and got through to an actual IRS agent in under 20 minutes! There's a demo video at https://youtu.be/_kiP6q8DX5c that shows how it works. They basically navigate the IRS phone tree for you and call you when they have an agent on the line. The agent confirmed exactly how my new wife and I needed to handle our W-4s and property tax deductions after our mid-year wedding.
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Jessica Nguyen
•How does this even work? Does it actually connect you with a real IRS agent or is it just another service with "tax experts"?
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Isaiah Thompson
•Sorry, but this sounds like BS. I've tried everything to get through to the IRS and nothing works. You're telling me this magical service somehow jumps the queue? I'll believe it when I see it.
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Cameron Black
•It connects you with an actual IRS agent - not a third-party expert. They basically call the IRS for you, navigate through all the automated menus and wait on hold (which can take hours), then when they finally reach a human, they call you and connect you directly to that agent. You're talking to the same IRS representatives you'd reach if you called yourself. I completely understand the skepticism! I felt the same way until I tried it. They don't "jump the queue" - they just handle the frustrating waiting process for you. Instead of you being on hold for 2+ hours, their system does it, and you only get called when there's actually an agent ready to talk. Saved me a ton of time and frustration.
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Isaiah Thompson
I have to eat my words. After posting my skeptical comment, I decided to try Claimyr out of desperation because I needed answers about my multi-property situation before my wedding next month. It actually worked exactly as described. I got a call back in about 45 minutes, and was speaking with a real IRS agent who answered all my questions about handling two properties with my soon-to-be spouse. She confirmed that our December 31 marital status is what matters and recommended we adjust our W-4s now to avoid a big tax bill. Would have taken me days of trying to get this info on my own.
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Ruby Garcia
One thing nobody's mentioned yet is that if you both have mortgage interest and property taxes, you might hit the SALT deduction limit of $10k if filing jointly. My wife and I were in this exact situation last year. We had to run the numbers both ways (married filing jointly vs separately) to see which gave us the better outcome. Another consideration is that if one of you gets income-based student loan payments, filing separately might be better, even though you lose some tax breaks.
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Samantha Johnson
•That's a great point about the SALT cap! I hadn't even thought about that. Do you happen to know if we'd both get a $10k SALT deduction each if filing separately? And did you find that filing jointly or separately worked better in your case with two properties?
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Ruby Garcia
•Yes, if you file separately, each of you can claim up to $10k in SALT deductions on your respective returns. So potentially $20k total between both returns versus just $10k total on a joint return. In our case, we actually found filing separately worked better because we both had significant property taxes and state income taxes that exceeded the $10k limit individually. But this is very situation-specific - we lost some tax benefits by filing separately, but the additional SALT deductions made up for it. Your income levels are different from ours, so you really need to calculate both scenarios.
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Alexander Evans
Wondering if either of you have student loans? This literally changed everything for my wife and me when we got married. If either of you are on income-based repayment, filing separately could save thousands in student loan payments even if you pay slightly more in taxes.
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Evelyn Martinez
•This!!!! Filing separately saved me literally $4k in student loan payments last year even though we paid about $800 more in taxes. Definitely worth considering if you have federal loans.
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Dominique Adams
Great question! Since you're getting married in October, you'll be considered married for the entire 2024 tax year regardless of living separately. Here are the key things to consider: **Filing Status**: You'll have two options - Married Filing Jointly (MFJ) or Married Filing Separately (MFS). Head of Household won't be available once you're married. **W-4 Updates**: Yes, update your W-4s soon! With your combined income of ~$295k, you'll likely be in a higher tax bracket and may need to adjust withholdings to avoid underpayment penalties. **Children**: If filing jointly, you can claim both kids on one return. If filing separately, each claims their own child. **Property Considerations**: Since you both own homes, pay attention to the SALT deduction cap ($10k jointly vs $10k each if filing separately). With two properties, you might exceed this limit. **Run Both Scenarios**: Given your income levels and dual home ownership, definitely calculate both MFJ and MFS. Sometimes MFS works better despite losing some tax benefits, especially if you have high property taxes or state income taxes. The living situation doesn't matter for tax purposes - only your legal marital status on December 31st counts. I'd recommend using tax software to model both scenarios before deciding!
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Sophia Carter
•This is really comprehensive advice! I'm also getting married this year (December) and had no idea about the SALT deduction differences between joint vs separate filing. Quick question - when you mention using tax software to model both scenarios, are there any specific tools you'd recommend? I tried the basic calculators online but they don't seem to handle the dual home ownership situation very well. Also, do you know if there are any other deductions we might lose by filing separately that we should factor into our calculations?
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