Just got married - Do I need to update my marital status with employer? Joint file married next year?
So my husband and I tied the knot back in June, and I just realized I haven't updated my marital status with my employer (I work for a local college). Totally slipped my mind until now! I'm wondering if I need to contact HR to update this information, or if I can just leave everything as is and file jointly when tax season comes around next year? Also trying to figure out what would be the most beneficial filing strategy for us. We have a somewhat complicated family setup: I have two teenagers from my previous marriage. My ex and I alternate claiming them each year as dependents (I claim one, he claims the other, then we switch the following year). My husband and I also have a 3-year-old together. I work full-time as an academic advisor, while my husband works part-time as a barber (about 2 days a week). For the past couple years, we've filed separately - I claimed one of my older kids, and he claimed our toddler. Is this still the best approach now that we're married, or would filing jointly make more sense? Any advice would be appreciated!
23 comments


AstroAdventurer
Congratulations on your marriage! You should definitely update your W-4 with your employer since your tax withholding might need adjusting based on your new filing status. This doesn't automatically happen when you get married - you need to submit a new W-4 form to your HR department. As for filing jointly vs. separately next year, it really depends on your specific financial situation, but married filing jointly is generally more beneficial for most couples. The tax brackets are more favorable, and you'll have access to certain credits and deductions that might be limited or unavailable when filing separately. With your blended family situation, I'd recommend comparing both scenarios. Calculate your taxes both ways (jointly and separately) to see which gives you the better outcome. With one spouse working part-time, filing jointly might be advantageous because the lower income could pull down the overall tax rate on the higher income.
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Natasha Kuznetsova
•Thanks for the advice! I didn't realize I needed to update my W-4. Does this mean I've been having the wrong amount withheld from my paychecks since June? And is there any deadline for updating this information?
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AstroAdventurer
•There's no specific deadline for updating your W-4 after a life event like marriage, but it's best to do it as soon as possible. Your withholding has likely been calculated as if you were still single, which might not be optimal depending on your combined incomes. With your husband working part-time and you working full-time, you might actually be overwithholding if you're still on single status. When you update your W-4, you'll indicate your married status, which could adjust your withholding to better match your actual tax liability. Just contact your HR department for a new W-4 form or check if they have an online system for updating this information.
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Javier Mendoza
After my wedding last year, I was in the same boat trying to figure out all the tax implications. I found this amazing tool called taxr.ai (https://taxr.ai) that saved me so much stress! I uploaded our financial info and it showed me side-by-side comparisons of filing jointly vs. separately. The analysis made it super clear which option would save us more money based on our specific situation with kids from previous relationships. It also explained exactly what forms I needed to update with my employer and gave me deadlines for when everything needed to be done. Seriously made the whole process so much easier!
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Emma Wilson
•Does it actually work with complicated family situations? My partner and I are getting married in December and we have a similar situation with kids from previous relationships. Did it help figure out the dependent situation too or just the married filing jointly vs separately part?
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Malik Davis
•I'm a bit skeptical about these online tools. How accurate is it compared to talking with an actual tax professional? And does it keep your financial information secure? Not really comfortable uploading all my tax docs to some random website.
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Javier Mendoza
•It absolutely works with blended families! You can input all the details about custody arrangements and dependent situations, and it shows you optimal claiming strategies. It even helped me realize I qualified for additional child tax credits I wasn't aware of. For security concerns, they use bank-level encryption for all documents and data. I was hesitant at first too, but their security certifications convinced me. Plus, their analysis was actually more thorough than what I got from the tax preparer I used the previous year - they caught deductions my preparer missed because they specifically look for situations common in blended families.
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Malik Davis
I wanted to follow up about taxr.ai that I was skeptical about earlier. I decided to give it a try after my friend recommended it too, and wow - I was completely wrong. The security is legit, and it seriously helped me figure out our complicated tax situation with our blended family. The tool showed me that filing jointly would save us about $3,400 compared to filing separately in our situation! It also highlighted that I needed to update my W-4 immediately and showed exactly how to fill it out based on our combined incomes. They even have specific guidance for teachers and education professionals about deductions you can claim. Definitely worth checking out if you're trying to figure out the married filing status confusion.
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Isabella Santos
If you need to talk to the IRS about any of this (especially about dependent claiming rules), good luck getting through their phone lines. After trying for WEEKS to talk to someone about a similar situation, I discovered Claimyr (https://claimyr.com) which got me connected to an actual IRS agent in under 20 minutes! Check out their demo: https://youtu.be/_kiP6q8DX5c I had so many questions about how the custody arrangement affects claiming dependents now that I'm married, and needed official clarification. Claimyr saved me days of frustration and hold music. They basically wait on hold for you and call you when an agent picks up. Absolute game changer especially during tax season when wait times are insane.
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Ravi Gupta
•How does this actually work? Does it just keep calling the IRS for you or something? Seems too good to be true considering I spent literally 3 hours on hold last April...
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GalacticGuru
•Yeah right. Nothing gets you through to the IRS faster. They're just going to take your money and you'll still be waiting on hold forever. The IRS is basically unreachable these days. Nice try though.
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Isabella Santos
•It uses an automated system that navigates the IRS phone tree and stays on hold so you don't have to. When an actual human IRS agent picks up, it calls your phone and connects you directly to that agent. It's surprisingly simple but effective. It's definitely not a scam. I was connected in about 15 minutes when I'd previously spent hours trying on my own. They use the same phone lines everyone else does, but their system is persistent and knows exactly which options to select to get to the right department.
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GalacticGuru
I need to eat some serious crow here. After my skeptical comment about Claimyr, I figured I'd try to prove it was BS and signed up. To my absolute shock, I got connected to an IRS representative in 17 minutes after spending 2+ hours on hold myself earlier that same day. The agent confirmed that with my similar blended family situation, filing jointly was actually better AND cleared up confusion about who could claim which kids based on our custody agreement. Saved me over $2,100 in taxes by getting the right information. I've never been happier to be wrong about something. If you need actual IRS guidance on your specific marriage/dependent situation, this service is 100% worth it.
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Freya Pedersen
Don't forget to update your name with Social Security Administration if you changed your name after marriage! This is super important because your tax return name must match your SSA records. Learned this the hard way when my refund was delayed for 3 months because of a name mismatch. Also, update your address with USPS and IRS if you moved in together at a new place. The IRS form is 8822 for address changes. Being proactive about these updates saved me a lot of headaches later!
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Natasha Kuznetsova
•Thanks for bringing this up! I didn't change my last name so I should be good on the SSA front. But we did move to a new place together - will definitely file that 8822 form. Do you know if there's a deadline for submitting it?
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Freya Pedersen
•There's no specific deadline for Form 8822, but it's best to submit it as soon as possible after moving. It helps ensure that any IRS correspondence (like letters about your refund or notices) goes to the right address. You can find the form on the IRS website and it's pretty straightforward to fill out. Even though you didn't change your name, updating your address is still important since the IRS sends a lot of important stuff by mail. Better to be proactive than miss something important!
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Omar Fawaz
Just FYI - my wife and I have a similar situation with kids from previous relationships. We found that TurboTax actually did a pretty good job walking us through both scenarios (joint vs separate) and showing which was better. Their free version doesn't do this comparison well, but if you're willing to pay for the Deluxe version, it was worth it for us. Saved about $1800 filing jointly vs separately.
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Chloe Anderson
•H&R Block's software does this too and I found their interface easier to use than TurboTax. They have a "try both ways" feature that automatically calculates everything twice and shows you which is better. Worth comparing both software options before deciding.
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Marina Hendrix
Congratulations on your marriage! I went through something very similar when I got married two years ago. Here's what I learned: Definitely update your W-4 with your employer ASAP - there's no official deadline, but the sooner the better. You've likely been overwithholding since June if you're still marked as single, especially with your husband working part-time. For your blended family situation, married filing jointly will almost certainly be better. The standard deduction is higher ($27,700 for 2023 vs $13,850 each filing separately), and you'll have access to credits that phase out quickly when married filing separately. One thing to keep in mind with your custody arrangement - make sure you and your ex coordinate who's claiming which child for 2023 taxes. The IRS gets really picky about this, and having it documented helps avoid any issues. I'd also recommend running the numbers both ways using tax software before filing. Most people in your situation (one full-time, one part-time income with dependents) benefit significantly from joint filing. You might be surprised by how much you save! Don't forget to update your address with the IRS too if you moved in together. Form 8822 is quick and easy to file.
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Katherine Hunter
•This is really helpful advice! I'm curious about the coordination with my ex-husband regarding who claims which child - do we need to have some kind of written agreement, or is it just based on what we actually file? Also, when you say the IRS gets "picky" about this, what kind of issues should I watch out for? I want to make sure we don't accidentally both claim the same child or something like that.
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Luca Esposito
•Great question! While there's no legal requirement for a written agreement with your ex about claiming dependents, it's absolutely worth having something documented - even just a text or email confirming the arrangement for each tax year. This protects both of you if the IRS ever questions it. The IRS gets picky because they have systems that flag when the same Social Security number gets claimed as a dependent on multiple returns. If both you and your ex accidentally claim the same child, the IRS will reject one or both returns electronically, or if they're paper filed, they'll send notices to both parents asking for proof of who has the right to claim the child. To avoid this, I'd suggest sending a quick message to your ex before filing season confirming something like "Just to confirm for 2023 taxes - I'm claiming [Child A's name] and you're claiming [Child B's name], right?" Keep that confirmation for your records. Also, make sure whoever is claiming each child actually meets the IRS dependency tests for that year (residency, support, etc.). The alternating arrangement you described should work fine as long as you're both following the custody agreement consistently. @f3bfb6a7f75a had great advice about running the numbers both ways - definitely do that comparison!
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Mohamed Anderson
Congratulations on your marriage! You're definitely not alone in forgetting to update things after getting married - it happens to the best of us! Yes, you should absolutely update your W-4 with your employer's HR department. Since you got married in June, you've likely been having taxes withheld as if you were single for the past several months, which could mean you're overwithholding (especially with your husband working part-time). There's no strict deadline, but the sooner you update it, the better your withholding will align with your actual tax situation. For your filing strategy, married filing jointly is usually more beneficial for couples in your situation. With one spouse working full-time and the other part-time, joint filing often results in a lower overall tax rate. Plus, you'll get a higher standard deduction ($27,700 for 2023 if filing jointly vs. $13,850 each if filing separately) and access to credits that might be limited when married filing separately. With your blended family setup, just make sure you coordinate with your ex about who's claiming which child for 2023 taxes. It sounds like you already have a good system in place with the alternating years. I'd recommend documenting this arrangement (even just via text/email) to avoid any confusion. Consider running the numbers both ways using tax software before you file - most couples in similar situations save significantly by filing jointly, but it's always worth double-checking with your specific numbers!
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AstroExplorer
•This is such great comprehensive advice! I'm actually in a very similar situation - just got married last month and completely forgot about updating my W-4 until I saw this post. Quick question though - when you mention that we might be "overwithholding" as single filers, does that mean we'd likely get a bigger refund next year, or could we actually end up owing money? I'm trying to figure out if I should rush to update my W-4 this week or if it can wait until after the holidays. Also, really appreciate the tip about documenting the custody arrangement with the ex - that's something I never would have thought of but makes total sense!
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