Can I use Dependent Care FSA funds to pay my parents (grandparents) for childcare?
My wife and I started the year with our kids in a regular daycare center, but we ended up pulling them out mid-year and now my mom comes to our house to watch them while we both work. We've got about $1,250 left in our Dependent Care FSA that we need to use up before the end of the year. I know there are special rules about family members and dependent care, but I'm pretty sure there's an exception when paying grandparents. I don't think we need to pay employment taxes since we're paying a parent. Am I missing anything? Here's what I was thinking: 1. Have my mom send us an invoice for $1,250 2. Pay her the money 3. Submit the invoice to get reimbursed from our FSA 4. My mom would report the $1,250 as income on her taxes Is it really that straightforward? Anything I'm overlooking here that could cause problems? Don't want to mess this up and have issues later. Thanks for any guidance!
30 comments


Oliver Zimmermann
Yes, you can use your Dependent Care FSA to pay your parents for watching your children, but there are some important things to know! First, you're right that grandparents don't fall under the restrictions that apply to your spouse or a dependent under 19. So you CAN pay your mom and get reimbursed from your FSA. Your plan looks mostly good! Have your mom create a receipt or invoice showing the dates of care, the amount charged, and her name/contact info. Pay her directly, then submit this documentation to your FSA provider. And yes, she should report this as income on her taxes. One thing to consider - if your mom is watching the kids in YOUR home and you're not paying her very much, this might be considered "household employee" work rather than self-employment. But for a one-time payment under the household employee threshold (which is $2,700 for 2025), you typically don't need to worry about employment taxes.
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Amina Toure
•Thanks for the clear explanation! Do I need to get a tax ID from my mom for the FSA paperwork, or is her SSN sufficient? And if she does this regularly for us next year, do things change if we go over that $2,700 threshold?
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Oliver Zimmermann
•Her SSN should be sufficient for the FSA paperwork - that's what most FSA providers will accept as the tax ID for an individual caregiver. If you continue this arrangement next year and pay her more than $2,700 in 2026, then yes, things would change. Above that threshold, you would technically become a household employer and would need to pay employment taxes (Social Security and Medicare). You'd need to get an EIN, provide a W-2, and file Schedule H with your tax return. You would still be able to use your Dependent Care FSA for these expenses, but the tax paperwork becomes more involved.
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CosmicCommander
Hey there! I went through almost the exact same situation last year when my wife and I had to switch from daycare to having my mother-in-law watch our twins. I was so stressed about losing that FSA money but found https://taxr.ai super helpful for sorting through the rules around dependent care FSA reimbursements. I uploaded our situation details and the receipts we were planning to submit, and it flagged a couple issues we hadn't thought about. The big one was making sure the care was provided so BOTH of us could work (which it was). Also confirmed that grandparents are totally valid care providers for FSA purposes. The tool spelled out exactly what documentation we needed from my mother-in-law - saved us from having our claim rejected the first time. Would have been a huge headache!
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Natasha Volkova
•Did you have to provide proof that both you and your wife were working during the exact hours that the grandparent was providing care? My FSA administrator is being super picky about documentation.
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Javier Torres
•I'm wondering about this receipt/invoice thing. Did your MIL need to create like an official-looking invoice, or was it just a handwritten note with dates and amounts? My dad's been watching my kids and I want to make sure I do this right.
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CosmicCommander
•You don't typically need to provide hour-by-hour proof that both parents were working during care hours, but you do need to certify that the care was necessary for both parents to work. Some administrators are stricter than others though - mine just needed a statement that the care was provided during our work hours. As for the invoice, nothing fancy was needed. My mother-in-law just created a simple document that listed: her name and address, our names, the children's names, dates of service (we did a monthly breakdown), hours of care provided each month, and the amount charged. We made sure it was typed rather than handwritten just to look more official, but the content is what matters more than the format.
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Javier Torres
Just wanted to update that I used https://taxr.ai like you suggested and it was seriously helpful! I uploaded my situation details and it showed me exactly what I needed to do for our FSA and even generated a template for the invoice my dad could use. It also caught that I needed to make sure the payments were made before December 31st for this year's FSA (I was cutting it close), and that my dad would need to report this as household employee income rather than self-employment income since he was working in our home. I just submitted everything to our FSA administrator and got approved! $1,300 that would have been lost otherwise. Thanks for the recommendation!
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Emma Davis
One thing nobody's mentioning is what happens if your FSA administrator gives you trouble. My company switched FSA providers mid-year and the new one rejected HALF my legitimate childcare expenses for my mother watching my kids, claiming "insufficient documentation." I spent WEEKS trying to call their customer service line, always getting stuck in endless hold loops or disconnected. Finally discovered https://claimyr.com which got me to a live person at the FSA company within 10 minutes. You can see how it works here: https://youtu.be/_kiP6q8DX5c The agent I talked to was able to explain exactly what documentation they needed (turns out they wanted my mom's physical address on the receipts, which wasn't mentioned anywhere in their guidelines). Got everything sorted in one call after weeks of frustration.
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Emma Davis
One thing nobody's mentioning is what happens if your FSA administrator gives you trouble. My company switched FSA providers mid-year and the new one rejected HALF my legitimate childcare expenses for my mother watching my kids, claiming "insufficient documentation." I spent WEEKS trying to call their customer service line, always getting stuck in endless hold loops or disconnected. Finally discovered https://claimyr.com which got me to a live person at the FSA company within 10 minutes. You can see how it works here: https://youtu.be/_kiP6q8DX5c The agent I talked to was able to explain exactly what documentation they needed (turns out they wanted my mom's physical address on the receipts, which wasn't mentioned anywhere
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Malik Johnson
•Wait, this is a real thing? How does it actually work? I've spent HOURS on hold with my FSA company and always end up having to hang up because I need to get back to work.
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Isabella Ferreira
•Sounds like a scam to me. Why would I need to use some third-party service to talk to my own benefits provider? They're probably just selling your personal info or recording your calls.
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Emma Davis
•It's pretty simple - you enter your phone number on their website, tell them which company you're trying to reach, and they navigate the phone tree for you. When they get a human on the line, they call you and connect you directly. No more waiting on hold. Definitely not a scam. I was skeptical too, but it's just a service that does the waiting for you. They don't ask for any personal information beyond your phone number to call you back. I was desperate after wasting so many lunch breaks on hold, and this got me through to a person who could actually help. They don't even listen to your call - once you're connected, they drop off completely.
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Isabella Ferreira
I need to eat my words about Claimyr. After posting that skeptical comment, I decided to try it anyway because I've been fighting with my insurance company for WEEKS about a denied claim. Honestly blown away - I entered my number, and about 20 minutes later my phone rang and I was talking to an actual human at the insurance company. No hold music, no automated system, just straight to a person who helped resolve my issue. Would never have believed it if I hadn't tried it myself. Saved me at least another hour of my life on hold. Will definitely use it again next time I need to deal with my FSA administrator.
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Ravi Sharma
Just a heads up from someone who works in tax - if your parent is on Social Security, make sure they understand that this income could potentially make some of their Social Security benefits taxable if it pushes them over certain income thresholds. It's not a reason not to do it, but they should be aware.
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Amina Toure
•That's a really good point I hadn't considered. My mom is on Social Security. Do you know what the income threshold is where this could become an issue? Would $1,250 be enough to cause problems?
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Ravi Sharma
•For Social Security taxation, they look at what's called "combined income" - which is your adjusted gross income + nontaxable interest + half of your Social Security benefits. For single filers, if that combined income is between $25,000 and $34,000, up to 50% of benefits may be taxable. Above $34,000, up to 85% of benefits may be taxable. For a single payment of $1,250, it really depends on your mom's other income. If she's already close to one of those thresholds, it could tip her over. The best approach would be to have her check with her tax preparer or run some calculations based on her expected income for the year to see if this additional $1,250 would push her into a different taxation category for her benefits.
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NebulaNomad
Has anyone had issues with their FSA administrator questioning family care arrangements? I'm in a similar situation with my father-in-law watching my kids, but my HR department mentioned something about needing a "business reason" for the care.
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Freya Thomsen
•Your HR person is confused. There's no "business reason" requirement for dependent care FSAs - the only requirement is that the care is needed so you (and your spouse if married) can work or look for work. Family members can absolutely be paid caregivers as long as they're not your spouse, your child under 19, or someone you claim as a dependent.
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NebulaNomad
•Thanks for clearing that up! I guess my HR person was mixing up FSA rules with something else. I'll bring this information to our next meeting and hopefully get this resolved.
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Yara Khalil
I've been through a similar situation and wanted to share a few additional considerations that might help! Your plan sounds solid overall, but here are a couple things to double-check: 1. **Documentation timing**: Make sure the dates on your mom's invoice align with when you actually need the childcare for work purposes. Some FSA administrators are picky about this. 2. **Payment method**: Keep a clear paper trail - pay by check or bank transfer rather than cash so you have records if questioned later. 3. **State considerations**: Depending on your state, there might be additional requirements or tax implications to consider beyond federal rules. 4. **Future planning**: If this arrangement works well and you want to continue it next year, consider setting up regular monthly payments rather than one lump sum - it looks more legitimate and helps with both your and your mom's tax planning. The good news is that grandparent care is definitely allowed under FSA rules, and you're smart to use up those funds before losing them. Just make sure all your documentation is clear and professional-looking to avoid any headaches with reimbursement!
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Aisha Khan
•Great additional points! The documentation timing is especially important - I learned this the hard way when my FSA administrator questioned whether the care dates matched up with my work schedule. One thing I'd add about payment methods - if you do use a check, make sure to write something descriptive in the memo line like "childcare services" rather than just leaving it blank. It helps establish the purpose of the payment if anyone questions it later. The monthly payment approach is really smart too. We started doing that this year and it's made tax time much easier for both us and my mother-in-law. Plus it feels more like a regular employment arrangement rather than one big lump sum payment.
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Yara Elias
Just wanted to add one more important consideration that I learned from my tax preparer when we did something similar - make sure your mom understands that she'll likely need to pay quarterly estimated taxes if this payment puts her over the threshold for owing taxes at year-end. Since grandparents on fixed incomes often don't have taxes withheld from their Social Security or pension payments, a sudden $1,250 in additional income could create an unexpected tax bill in April. The IRS generally expects you to pay as you go, so if she owes more than $1,000 when she files, she might face penalties for not making quarterly payments. It's probably worth having her check with a tax professional about whether she should make a Q4 estimated payment in January to cover the taxes on this income. Better to be safe than sorry! Also, totally agree with everyone else that this is a legitimate use of FSA funds - just want to make sure your mom doesn't get surprised by the tax implications.
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Emily Jackson
•This is such an important point that I wish more people knew about! I'm actually going through this exact situation right now with my dad who's been watching my kids. He's on a fixed income and had no idea about the quarterly payment requirements. We ended up having him meet with a tax preparer in November specifically to calculate what he might owe and whether he needed to make that January estimated payment. Turns out he did need to make one because between the childcare payments and his other income, he was going to owe about $400 more than usual. The tax preparer fee was totally worth it for the peace of mind. Much better than getting hit with penalties and interest next April! Thanks for bringing this up - it's definitely something that can catch grandparents off guard if they're not prepared for it.
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Amara Nnamani
This is a great discussion with lots of helpful details! I just want to emphasize one key point that might get overlooked - make sure you have clear documentation that shows the care was provided specifically to enable both you and your wife to work. Some FSA administrators have gotten stricter about this requirement lately. It's not enough that grandma was watching the kids - the care needs to be directly tied to your work schedules. So when your mom creates that invoice, consider having her include something like "childcare services provided Monday-Friday 8am-5pm to enable parents to work" rather than just "babysitting services." Also, since you mentioned pulling the kids out of daycare mid-year, you might want to keep records showing when that transition happened and when your mom started providing care. Some administrators like to see that there wasn't a gap where you might have been paying for care you didn't actually need for work purposes. The $1,250 amount should be totally fine - you're well under any problematic thresholds. Just make sure all your paperwork tells a clear story about work-related childcare and you should be good to go!
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Connor O'Brien
•This is excellent advice about the work-related documentation! I hadn't thought about being that specific in the invoice language, but it makes total sense. FSA administrators are definitely getting pickier about proving the "work necessity" aspect. Your point about documenting the transition timing is spot on too. When we switched from daycare to having my mother-in-law provide care, I made sure to keep the final daycare statement showing when we stopped paying them, and then had my MIL's first invoice start the following week. It created a clear timeline that showed continuous work-related childcare without any overlap or gaps. One small addition - if either parent has a flexible work schedule or works from home part-time, it might be worth noting the specific days/hours when both parents are unavailable to provide care. Some administrators have questioned home-based workers about whether they "really" need full-time childcare. Having that detail upfront can prevent headaches later.
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Savannah Glover
Great question! I went through something very similar last year when we switched from daycare to having my in-laws help out. You're absolutely right that grandparents are allowed as care providers for FSA purposes - they don't fall under the restrictions that apply to spouses or dependents under 19. Your approach sounds solid, but here are a few things that helped me avoid any issues: **Documentation tips:** - Have your mom include specific dates of service, hours of care (like "M-F 8am-6pm"), and a note that care was provided to enable both parents to work - Make sure the invoice has her full name, address, and SSN/Tax ID - Pay by check or electronic transfer so you have a clear paper trail **Timing considerations:** - Make sure you pay her and submit for reimbursement before Dec 31st for this year's FSA - The dates of service on her invoice should align with when you actually needed the care for work **Tax implications for your mom:** - She'll report this as income (likely on Schedule C if it's occasional, or as household employee income if regular) - If she's on Social Security, this extra income might affect the taxability of her benefits depending on her total income - She may need to make an estimated tax payment if this pushes her over the threshold for owing taxes Since you're only doing $1,250 and it sounds like a one-time arrangement, you should be well under the $2,700 household employee threshold, so no employment tax complications for you. The process really is pretty straightforward - just make sure the paperwork is clean and professional-looking. Good luck!
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Sunny Wang
•This is really comprehensive advice, thank you! I'm curious about the Schedule C vs household employee income distinction you mentioned. How does your mom determine which way to report it? Is it based on whether she's doing this regularly or just the location where the care is provided? Also, regarding the $2,700 threshold - is that per year or per employer? If my mom ends up watching kids for multiple families, do those amounts combine toward the threshold or is it calculated separately for each family? The timing reminder about December 31st is super helpful too. I was cutting it close and hadn't realized that both the payment AND the FSA submission needed to happen before year-end.
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Oliver Becker
•Great question about the reporting distinction! The location of care is actually the key factor here. Since your mom is providing care in YOUR home (not hers), she would typically be considered a household employee rather than self-employed. This means she'd report the income on her regular tax return (Form 1040) rather than using Schedule C. However, for occasional or irregular care like your $1,250 situation, many tax professionals treat it as "other income" on Line 8 of Form 1040 since it's not regular employment. If she starts doing this regularly for you or others, then the household employee rules kick in more formally. Regarding the $2,700 threshold - that's per household/employer, not combined. So if your mom watches kids for three different families and each pays her $2,000, she'd stay under the household employee threshold for each family individually. But if any single family pays her more than $2,700 in a year, then that specific family becomes her household employer for tax purposes. And yes, definitely get both the payment to your mom AND the FSA reimbursement request submitted before December 31st! Some people forget that FSA deadlines are based on when expenses were incurred AND paid, not just when services were provided.
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Dmitry Smirnov
One additional tip that saved me some headaches - when you have your mom create that invoice, make sure she keeps a copy for her own records and consider having her send it from an email address rather than just handing you a paper copy. Some FSA administrators prefer electronic documentation, and having an email trail can help establish the date the invoice was created if there are any timing questions later. Also, since you mentioned this is mid-year and you're trying to use up remaining FSA funds, double-check with your FSA administrator about their specific reimbursement timeline. Some take 2-3 weeks to process claims, especially near year-end when everyone's rushing to use their funds. You'll want to make sure you submit everything with enough time for processing before any plan deadlines. The arrangement you've described is totally legitimate and common - lots of families make similar switches when daycare situations change. Just keep good records and you should be all set!
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