That's a really smart point I hadn't considered. We're doing great, but I guess it makes sense to document everything properly regardless. Better to have clear boundaries even when things are good. Did you just write up something informal or did you use a specific format for your agreement?

We didn't have anything formal which is why it became a problem. What I recommend now (after learning the hard way) is a simple document that states: 1) Both parties' names and the property address, 2) The tax year it applies to, 3) The specific percentage split of mortgage interest and property tax deductions, 4) A statement that both parties understand this arrangement and won't claim more than their agreed portion, and 5) Both signatures and the date. It doesn't need to be notarized or anything fancy - just having something in writing helps prevent misunderstandings. You could even email it to each other so there's a digital timestamp. Some couples renew this agreement each tax year if their financial contributions change.

Smart move with the separate account. I was wondering though - does it matter who actually transfers the money to the mortgage company? Like if the payment comes from a joint account but one person set up the automatic payment, does the IRS care about that detail?

That's a great idea about asking for a sample pay stub! I didn't even think of that. Are HSA contributions similar to 401k in how they affect taxes? And do you know if parking deductions are pre-tax or post-tax?

HSA contributions are even better than 401k contributions tax-wise. They're pre-tax when made through payroll deduction, they grow tax-free, AND withdrawals are tax-free when used for qualified medical expenses. It's the only triple tax advantage account available. Definitely max it out if you have a High Deductible Health Plan. Parking and transit benefits are typically pre-tax up to the IRS limit (around $280/month for 2025), but it depends on whether your employer has set up a qualified transportation benefit program. Some smaller employers might just provide a taxable parking stipend instead. Definitely worth asking HR about the specifics of their program.

This is good advice but your math is a bit off. 65000/26 is actually $2,500 (not $2,400). Also, federal tax will probably be lower than 15% effective rate on $65k, especially with 401k contributions reducing taxable income.

Does the spouse need to file anything special along with the return when they mark the other person as deceased? Like a death certificate or anything official?

For a joint return where one spouse is deceased, you generally don't need to submit a death certificate with the return itself. You simply write "DECEASED" after the deceased spouse's name at the top of the return, and include the date of death. If the surviving spouse is filing as the deceased taxpayer's personal representative, they should sign the return and write "Filing as surviving spouse" in the signature area. For more complex situations involving larger estates that require Form 706, additional documentation would be needed, but for typical joint returns, the notation is sufficient.

So sorry for your loss. I went through this with my husband last year. Another tip: request a tax transcript from the IRS for the past few years. Sometimes there are refunds or issues you didn't know about, and it gives you a complete picture of what the IRS has on file.

I tried the Taxpayer Advocate last year and they told me they couldn't help with identity verification cases unless there was a genuine financial hardship. Has this policy changed recently?

The policy hasn't officially changed, but in practice, it varies by office and how you present your case. Identity verification cases can qualify if you can demonstrate actual financial hardship (like facing eviction, utility shutoff, inability to pay for medications, etc.) caused by not receiving your refund. What's also changed is that some Taxpayer Advocate offices now have specialized staff just for handling identity verification backlogs. Worth calling your local office to check their current procedures, as they've been updating their approach to handle the massive backlog of these cases.

I did this last month and it worked perfectly! Called the appointment line (844-545-5640), got an appointment for the following week at my local office. Brought my ID, social security card, the IRS letter, and copies of my tax returns. The agent verified my identity on the spot and released my return for processing. Refund showed up 3 weeks later!

Thanks for this simple breakdown! So just to confirm - in my case with $10,400 paid, $6,500 deducted, and $1,400 refunded - the refund is completely non-taxable? And would I still get a 1099-G from my state for the refund even though I don't need to report it?

Yes, your $1,400 refund would be completely non-taxable since it's less than the $3,900 difference between what you paid and what you were able to deduct. And yes, you'll still receive a 1099-G from your state because they don't know your specific federal tax situation. You'll need to report it on your federal return, but the tax software or worksheet will help you calculate that the taxable amount is $0. Don't skip reporting it just because the taxable amount is zero - that can trigger a mismatch notice from the IRS.

You'll need to report the state refund on Schedule 1, Line 1. But you should complete the "State and Local Income Tax Refund Worksheet" in the 1040 instructions first to determine how much (if any) is actually taxable. If you're dealing with the SALT cap situation described in this thread, you may well calculate that $0 is taxable, but you still need to work through the worksheet.