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Should I file as Single or Married Filing Separately after getting married in 2022?

Hey everyone, I'm in a bit of a tax pickle and need some guidance! I'm 35F, got married in September 2022 and had our first baby in March 2023. Here's my situation: I've always claimed "0" on my W4 forms since I started working 18+ years ago and honestly didn't update my withholding or marriage status until the beginning of this year. (Cut me some slack - I'm juggling a demanding remote job where I'm basically doing the work of 3 people while taking care of a 14-month-old, so paperwork falls through the cracks sometimes lol). My tax history has been super consistent - I typically get around $1,300-$1,400 back every year. But these last two years have been totally different. For 2022, I had two jobs (both claiming "0") and somehow ended up OWING $900 to the IRS! Then for 2023, with just one job, if it weren't for the $2,000 Child Tax Credit, I would've owed $6! When using my tax software, it's telling me that since I'm married, I have to file as married - either joint or separate. But here's the weird part - when I file as married, I owe the IRS $6 (minus the child credit), but if I switch it back to Single, I get my usual refund PLUS the child credit. My question is: since I didn't change my W4 to reflect my marriage or new dependent for all of 2022-2023, can I file as Single? I know this probably sounds dumb, but my husband and I have completely separate finances. We don't mix money AT ALL. We split everything 50/50. The house is in his name, all utilities are in his name, and I handle all the non-home related bills. I'm basically losing over $1,300 if I file Married/Separate! Why?? I intentionally always claimed "0" so I'd overpay and never be in this situation. And yes, I did try our taxes as Joint just to see if there'd be any benefit - nope! He still gets a refund while I'm paying in. I don't get it. WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE?

This whole situation is exactly why the tax code needs to be simplified. It's ridiculous that getting married can actually increase your tax burden. I've been using a really thorough spreadsheet to project my taxes each year since getting married in 2021. I can share it if anyone wants it - it lets you compare Single vs MFJ vs MFS side by side so you can see the differences. The most important thing I learned is that withholding and filing status are completely separate things. You can have your employer withhold at the higher single rate even when you're married by completing your W4 correctly. This has saved me from owing at tax time.

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Ryan Andre

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I completely understand your frustration - this is such a common shock for newlyweds! The marriage penalty is real and hits hardest when both spouses earn similar incomes in certain brackets. Here's what's happening: When you were single, your income got its own trip through the tax brackets. Now married, even filing separately, the tax brackets for MFS are exactly half of the MFJ brackets - which often works out worse than the single brackets you used to enjoy. It's like the tax code is designed assuming married couples will always file jointly. A few practical things that might help: - Since you keep finances completely separate anyway, definitely run the numbers for both MFJ and MFS. Sometimes MFJ comes out better overall even if it feels wrong given your separate financial lives - The Child Tax Credit phases out at different income levels for MFS vs MFJ, which could be affecting your calculations - Consider having additional tax withheld from both your paychecks going forward (line 4c on the W4) to avoid this surprise next year The tax software is correct that you can't file as Single - your marital status on Dec 31st determines your filing options. But don't give up! Sometimes there are deductions or credits available to married filers that can help offset the penalty. Have you tried itemizing vs taking the standard deduction?

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Esteban Tate

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Does anyone know if tax loss harvesting software actually helps avoid these wash sale problems? I've been looking at some of the robo-advisors that claim to do this automatically and wondered if its worth it.

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I've been using Wealthfront for about 2 years and their tax-loss harvesting has been pretty good at avoiding wash sales by using similar but not "substantially identical" securities. For example, they might sell a Vanguard S&P 500 ETF at a loss and buy an iShares S&P 500 ETF that performs similarly but isn't identical in the IRS's eyes. Just be careful if you're trading similar securities in other accounts they don't manage - that can still trigger wash sales they can't prevent.

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Arjun Patel

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I had a similar situation last year and it really threw me for a loop! Here's what I learned that might help: The wash sale disallowed amount ($3,400 in your case) doesn't mean you owe taxes on money you didn't make. It just means those specific losses can't be deducted this year. The key question is: are you still holding the replacement shares you bought within those 30-day windows? If yes, then those losses get added to your cost basis in those shares and you'll be able to claim them when you eventually sell (as long as you don't trigger another wash sale). If you actually sold everything by December 31st and your true economic loss for the year was $2,800, then that should be what shows up on your return. The problem might be that TurboTax isn't properly accounting for all your transactions or you might still be holding some replacement shares without realizing it. I'd recommend double-checking your year-end positions against all the trades that triggered wash sales. Sometimes people forget about partial sales or don't realize they're still holding shares that are preventing them from claiming the losses.

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This is really helpful, thank you! I think I might be in exactly this situation where I'm still holding some replacement shares without realizing it. When you say "partial sales" - do you mean if I sold part of my position but kept some shares? Because I definitely did that with a few stocks. Would those remaining shares prevent me from claiming the losses on the portions I did sell?

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Amara Okafor

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Yes, exactly! If you sold part of your position but kept some shares, those remaining shares are considered "replacement shares" for wash sale purposes. This means the losses on the shares you sold cannot be claimed if you're still holding any portion of the same stock within that 30-day window. For example, if you sold 100 shares of XYZ at a loss and then bought back 50 shares within 30 days (or were already holding some), the entire loss on those 100 shares gets disallowed and added to the basis of the 50 shares you're holding. To actually claim those losses, you'd need to sell ALL of your XYZ shares and wait at least 31 days before buying back in. This is one of the trickiest parts of wash sale rules that catches a lot of people off guard!

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Has anyone used TurboTax for reporting rental property sales? I'm in a similar situation and wondering if it handles depreciation recapture correctly or if I need to go to a professional.

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I used TurboTax last year for my rental property sale and it was decent. It asked all the right questions about depreciation and guided me through the process, but I still felt like I needed to double-check everything. The interface for entering improvement costs was particularly clunky. If your situation is pretty straightforward, TurboTax can handle it. But if you have lots of improvements or a complicated ownership history, might be worth paying a CPA for at least a review.

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Amina Diop

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One thing I haven't seen mentioned yet is the Net Investment Income Tax (NIIT). Since you're married filing jointly with income around $83k, adding the $255k capital gain will likely push you over the $250k threshold for NIIT. This means you'll owe an additional 3.8% tax on the investment income portion that exceeds the threshold. So in addition to the regular capital gains tax and depreciation recapture we've discussed, you'd be looking at roughly 3.8% on about $88k of the gain (the amount over $250k threshold), which is another $3,340 or so. Also, don't forget about state taxes if you're in a state that taxes capital gains. This can add significantly to your total tax bill depending on where you live. Make sure you're setting aside enough money - between federal capital gains, depreciation recapture, NIIT, and potential state taxes, you could be looking at a substantially higher tax bill than just the federal calculations alone.

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Wow, I completely forgot about the NIIT! That's a really important point. So if I understand correctly, with our $83k regular income plus the $255k capital gain, we'd have $338k total income, which means we'd owe the 3.8% NIIT on $88k (the amount over $250k). This is getting pretty complicated with all the different tax layers. Between the regular capital gains tax (~$31,500), depreciation recapture (~$11,250), and now NIIT (~$3,340), we're looking at close to $46k in federal taxes alone. And we're in California, so there will be state taxes on top of that. I think I definitely need to consult with a tax professional at this point. This is way more complex than I initially thought!

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Something important about Form 8332 that no one's mentioned: if you already have alternating years specified in a divorce decree from 2008 or earlier, you might not need Form 8332 at all! The IRS will sometimes accept the divorce decree language instead. If your decree is after 2008, then yeah, you need Form 8332. But either way, your ex's tax guy is wrong that it's "too late" - there's no deadline for Form 8332 other than it needs to be included with YOUR return when you file. Also, whoever the custodial parent is can file as Head of Household regardless of who claims the kid as a dependent. Those are separate things. Your ex can release the dependent claim to you via Form 8332 but still file as HOH. Hope that helps!

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You're actually wrong about the divorce decree date thing. Those rules changed in 2009. Pre-2009 divorce agreements with specific tax terms can still be valid without Form 8332, but only if they haven't been modified since then.

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Thanks for the correction! You're right - the cutoff is actually 2009, not 2008. And yes, it's important to note that the agreement must not have been modified since then regarding the children. The broader point still stands though - the ex's tax preparer is incorrect about it being "too late" for Form 8332, and the form doesn't affect Head of Household status.

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CyberSamurai

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This is such a frustrating situation! I went through something similar a few years ago and it was incredibly stressful. Based on what you've described, here are a few things to consider: 1. **Double-check with your ex**: Even though he says he didn't claim your son, sometimes people forget about automatic imports from previous years in tax software, or they might have let a family member handle their taxes who made the claim without telling them. 2. **The Form 8332 timing issue**: Your ex's tax preparer is absolutely wrong about it being "too late." Form 8332 can be completed and attached to YOUR return when you file - there's no deadline tied to when the custodial parent files their return. 3. **Head of Household concerns**: This is also incorrect advice from his tax person. Form 8332 only releases the dependency exemption - it doesn't affect his ability to file as Head of Household if he otherwise qualifies (maintains a home for a qualifying person). 4. **Your next steps**: Since you're the non-custodial parent, you do need either Form 8332 or equivalent language in a court order. If your divorce decree specifically mentions alternating years for tax purposes, that might be sufficient depending on when it was issued. I'd recommend trying one of the services others mentioned to actually speak with an IRS agent who can give you definitive guidance on your specific situation. Getting official direction will save you a lot of back-and-forth guessing. Hang in there - these dependency conflicts are more common than you'd think and they do get resolved!

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This is really helpful advice! I'm dealing with a similar situation but with my daughter, and I'm curious about the court order language you mentioned. My divorce decree from 2010 says I get to claim her in odd years, but it doesn't specifically use IRS terminology. Would that still be considered "equivalent language" or do I need to get Form 8332 signed? Also, has anyone here actually had success with paper filing when there's a duplicate dependent claim? I'm worried about how long it might take to process or if it could trigger an audit for both parties.

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NebulaNova

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I'm going through something similar right now. Did you write your Social Security number on your check when you sent the payment? I found out that if you don't include your SSN and tax year on the check, sometimes they have trouble applying it correctly.

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This is really important! I work at a bank and we see this issue all the time. Always write your SSN and tax form/year on the memo line of any check to the IRS. Makes it much easier to trace if something goes wrong.

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This is exactly what happened to me last year! The CP503 is definitely more serious than the CP14, so you're right not to ignore it. Here's what I learned from my experience: First, gather ALL your payment documentation - the canceled check, bank statements showing it was cashed, and any payment confirmations you have. The IRS will need specific details like the exact date the check was processed and the check number. When you do reach someone at the IRS, ask specifically for a "payment tracer" - this is their internal process for tracking down misapplied payments. In my case, they had applied my payment to a different tax year because of a processing error on their end. One thing that really helped me was keeping detailed notes of every call - date, time, agent's ID number, and what they told me. If you get disconnected or need to call back, this information can help the next agent pick up where you left off. Also, if they do find the payment was misapplied due to their error, make sure to request that any penalties and interest be removed since it wasn't your fault. They can do this, but you have to specifically ask for it. Don't panic - this is fixable, it just takes persistence to get through to the right person who can trace your payment!

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This is really helpful advice! I'm dealing with a similar situation right now and had no idea about asking for a "payment tracer" specifically. Quick question - when they removed the penalties and interest for you, did that happen automatically once they found their error, or did you have to push for it? I'm worried about getting stuck with extra charges for something that wasn't my fault.

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