Will marriage affect my fiancé's SSDI and Medicaid benefits with my income?
Hi everyone, I've been putting off marriage for 3 years because of benefit concerns, and I'm hoping someone has experience with this. My fiancé receives SSDI (about $1,250/month) and has Medicaid coverage that pays for his medications and treatments for a serious health condition. We want to finally get married this summer, but I'm terrified my income (I make about $58,000/year) will either reduce his disability payments or cause him to lose his Medicaid coverage entirely. I keep finding conflicting information online - some sites say SSDI isn't affected by spouse's income, but others mention something about family maximum limits? And everything I read about Medicaid suggests he'll definitely lose that coverage. We can't afford his medical expenses without insurance, and my employer's health plan has a $7,500 deductible which would be devastating for us financially. Has anyone here navigated this situation successfully? Are there any options that would let us marry without jeopardizing his benefits?
34 comments


Elijah Brown
Your fiancé's SSDI benefits will NOT be affected by your income after marriage. SSDI is based on the worker's previous earnings record and isn't means-tested. However, you're right to be concerned about Medicaid - that's where the problem usually comes in. If his Medicaid eligibility is tied to his SSI status (which is different from SSDI) or to income thresholds, then yes, your income would likely be counted in determining continued eligibility after marriage. I'd suggest contacting your state's Medicaid office directly to understand the specific rules in your state, as Medicaid regulations vary significantly by location.
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Zoe Walker
•Thank you so much for clarifying! He's definitely on SSDI, not SSI. That's a relief about the SSDI payments not being affected. Do you know if there are any special Medicaid programs or waivers for people with disabilities that might allow him to keep coverage even after marriage? I'll definitely contact our state Medicaid office, but it's so hard to get straight answers from them sometimes.
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Maria Gonzalez
I was in ALMOST the same boat 2 years ago!!! My now-husband has been on SSDI for 8 years (chronic kidney disease) and we worried about the EXACT same thing. When we got married, his SSDI checks stayed EXACTLY the same amount - not a penny difference!!! BUT - and this is the BIG problem - he DID lose his Medicaid within 3 months after our marriage. They counted our combined income and it was WAY over the limit. It has been a NIGHTMARE trying to get him affordable coverage since then. My work insurance is terrible for his conditions and we're paying almost $900/month for medications now. I really wish someone had warned us about this part before we got married!!!!
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Zoe Walker
•Oh no, I'm so sorry you went through that! This is exactly what I'm afraid of. $900/month for medications is impossible for us on top of regular bills. Did you look into any assistance programs or appeals with Medicaid? I'm wondering if there are any exceptions they make for people with serious health conditions.
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Natalie Chen
my cousin married his girlfriend last year and he gets disability too. they didnt have any problems with his payments but idk about the medicaid part. maybe you could just not get married officially? like have the ceremony but not sign the papers? thats what my neighbor did
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Zoe Walker
•We've thought about that option too, but we really want the legal protections of marriage, especially for hospital visitation rights and making medical decisions if needed. But it might come down to that if there's no other solution. Thanks for sharing about your cousin's experience!
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Santiago Martinez
To clarify some misinformation - SSDI (Social Security Disability Insurance) is NOT affected by spousal income as it's based on the disabled person's work history. However, Medicaid eligibility rules vary by state, and in most states, household income (including spouse's income) is counted. Here are some options to consider: 1. Look into your state's Medicaid Buy-In program for workers with disabilities (even if your fiancé can only work minimally) 2. Check if your state offers Medicaid spend-down programs that might allow higher income levels 3. See if your fiancé qualifies for Medicare (typically after 24 months on SSDI) and explore Medicare Part D for prescriptions plus a Medicare Supplement plan 4. Consult with a benefits planner who specializes in disability benefits - many Centers for Independent Living offer this service for free Before making any decisions, get specific information for your state. The general rules are similar, but the income thresholds and available programs vary significantly.
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Maria Gonzalez
•I wish someone had told us about these options! The Medicare Part D still leaves a huge gap in coverage though - my husband hits the "donut hole" by March every year and then we pay so much out of pocket until catastrophic coverage kicks in. It's an awful system!!
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Samantha Johnson
My wife and I dealt with this last year. Its infuriating how the system basically punishes people for getting married! We actually postponed our wedding for 5 years because of this issue. Have you considered talking to a disability lawyer? We found one who gave us a free consultation and explained all our options. Medicaid is definitely the bigger concern than the SSDI.
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Zoe Walker
•That's a good idea about the disability lawyer. Did you end up finding any solution that worked for you? Did your wife keep her benefits after marriage?
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Samantha Johnson
•We did find a partial solution. She did keep her SSDI but lost Medicaid. We ended up with her on my employer insurance and then applying for every patient assistance program available from the pharmaceutical companies that make her meds. It's a ton of paperwork every year but saves us about 60% on her most expensive medication.
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Nick Kravitz
Have you tried calling Social Security directly to get specific information for your situation? I had to call them recently about a retirement benefit question, and after trying for weeks and being on hold forever, I found this service called Claimyr that got me through to an agent in under 5 minutes. You might want to check it out at claimyr.com - they have a video showing how it works: https://youtu.be/Z-BRbJw3puU The SSA agent I spoke with was actually really helpful and gave me specific information for my state. Given how complicated your situation is with both SSDI and Medicaid considerations, talking directly with an agent might be your best bet to get accurate information before making such an important decision.
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Zoe Walker
•Thank you for this suggestion! I've tried calling SSA a few times and could never get through - either constant busy signals or being on hold for hours before getting disconnected. I'll definitely check out that service. Did you find the information you got from the agent was accurate and helpful?
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Nick Kravitz
•Yes, the information was accurate in my case. The key is getting to the right department. I'd recommend asking immediately to speak with someone who specializes in disability benefits and marriage questions. Have your fiancé on hand too, as they'll need to verify his identity to discuss his specific case. They helped explain exactly how my mother's benefits would work in her situation.
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Hannah White
Just wanted to share that i know several couples who just had commitment ceremonies but never legally married to avoid this exact problem. its not fair but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. the govt shouldnt be in our personal business anyway!
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Natalie Chen
•yeah thats what my neighbor did! they had a big wedding and everything but never filed the papers. nobody knows except family.
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Elijah Brown
One important thing to check: has your fiancé been on SSDI for at least 24 months? If so, he should qualify for Medicare regardless of Medicaid status. Medicare Part B + Part D + a Medicare Supplement plan, while not free like Medicaid, can provide good coverage. If he has low income (not counting your income before marriage), he might also qualify for Extra Help with Medicare prescription costs. For the most accurate information, I'd recommend: 1. Contacting your state's Health Insurance Assistance Program (SHIP) for free unbiased Medicare/Medicaid counseling 2. Speaking with a benefits planner at a local Center for Independent Living 3. Getting specifics from your state's Medicaid office about how marriage would affect his particular type of Medicaid coverage Every state handles their Medicaid programs differently, especially for disabled individuals, so general advice online won't be as helpful as state-specific guidance.
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Zoe Walker
•Yes, he's been on SSDI for about 5 years, so he does have Medicare, but he has Medicaid as his secondary insurance which covers all the costs Medicare doesn't cover. Without the Medicaid, we'd still have the 20% coinsurance for all his frequent doctor visits, plus the prescription costs that Medicare Part D doesn't fully cover, which would be thousands each year. I'll definitely look into the SHIP program and the Extra Help program - I haven't heard of those before. Thank you so much for these specific suggestions!
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Sebastián Stevens
This is such a difficult situation that so many couples face! I work as a case manager for people with disabilities and see this issue frequently. A few additional resources that might help: 1. Look into your state's "1915(c) waiver" programs - these are Medicaid waivers specifically for people with disabilities that sometimes have different income rules than regular Medicaid 2. Check if your fiancé qualifies as a "Qualified Medicare Beneficiary" (QMB) or "Specified Low-Income Medicare Beneficiary" (SLMB) - these programs can help pay Medicare premiums and cost-sharing even with slightly higher household income 3. Contact your state's 2-1-1 helpline (dial 2-1-1) - they often have updated information about local assistance programs and can connect you with benefits counselors 4. If your fiancé has specific chronic conditions, look into disease-specific foundations that offer medication assistance programs (like the American Kidney Fund, American Diabetes Association, etc.) The system really does penalize marriage, which is so unfair. But there are sometimes workarounds or lesser-known programs that can help bridge the gap. Don't give up hope - with the right information and advocacy, you might find a path forward that works for both of you!
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Keisha Williams
•This is incredibly helpful - thank you for sharing these specific resources! I hadn't heard of the 1915(c) waiver programs or the QMB/SLMB programs before. As someone who works with people with disabilities, do you have any sense of how long these application processes typically take? We're hoping to get married this summer, so I'm wondering if we should start applying for these programs now while he still has his current coverage, or if we need to wait until after marriage when his status changes. I really appreciate you taking the time to share your professional knowledge!
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Marilyn Dixon
I'm going through a very similar situation right now! My partner has been on SSDI for 3 years due to a spinal condition, and we've been engaged for over a year but keep postponing because of these same concerns. Reading through all these responses has been so helpful - especially learning about the Medicare programs and state-specific waivers I didn't know existed. One thing that's worked for us in the meantime is keeping detailed records of all his current medical expenses and medications. This has helped us calculate what our actual out-of-pocket costs would be under different insurance scenarios. We also started reaching out to pharmaceutical companies directly for patient assistance programs even before getting married, since some of those applications can take months to process. It's so frustrating that the system makes us choose between love and healthcare! But I'm encouraged by some of the solutions people have shared here. I'm definitely going to look into the SHIP program and the disability law consultation suggestions. Thank you everyone for sharing your experiences - it helps to know we're not alone in this impossible situation.
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Carmen Flores
•I'm so glad this thread has been helpful for you too! It really does help to know others are facing the same impossible choices. That's a smart idea about keeping detailed records of medical expenses - I should start doing that now to better understand what we'd be looking at financially. Have you had any luck with the pharmaceutical assistance programs you've applied for? I'm curious how much those typically cover and how difficult the application process is. It sounds like you're being really proactive about exploring options before making the decision. Wishing you and your partner the best as you navigate this frustrating system!
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Amara Nwosu
As someone who went through this exact situation 6 months ago, I completely understand your anxiety! My husband has been on SSDI for chronic illness, and we delayed our wedding for almost 2 years because of these concerns. Here's what actually happened when we got married: His SSDI stayed exactly the same (as others have confirmed), but he did lose his Medicaid coverage after about 2 months when they recalculated based on our combined household income. However, we found a few things that helped bridge the gap: 1. We immediately enrolled him in my employer's health plan during open enrollment (marriage is a qualifying life event, so you don't have to wait) 2. We applied for Medicare Part D Extra Help program right away - even though our combined income was higher, his individual income still qualified him for some assistance 3. We contacted every pharmaceutical company that makes his medications and applied for their patient assistance programs - this alone saved us about $400/month 4. Our state had a "Medicaid spend-down" program where you can still get coverage if your medical expenses exceed a certain threshold each month The transition was scary and took about 3 months to sort out all the new coverage, but we made it work. The key is starting the research and applications NOW, before you get married, so you have backup plans in place. Don't let the broken system keep you from your happiness - there are ways to make it work, even if it takes more effort than it should.
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Cameron Black
•Thank you so much for sharing your real experience - this is exactly what I needed to hear! It's reassuring to know that even though there were challenges, you were able to make it work. I really appreciate the specific timeline you mentioned (2 months for Medicaid loss, 3 months to sort out new coverage) because that helps me plan better. The idea about starting applications NOW before marriage is brilliant - I hadn't thought about getting ahead of the process like that. Can I ask which pharmaceutical assistance programs were most helpful for you? And did you find the Medicaid spend-down program difficult to navigate? Your success story gives me hope that we can figure this out too!
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Ravi Gupta
•This is such valuable information - thank you for sharing your actual timeline and what worked! I'm definitely going to start the pharmaceutical assistance applications right away. Can you give me any tips on which companies were most responsive or had the easiest application process? Also, when you applied for the Medicare Part D Extra Help, did they base it on his individual income from before marriage or did you have to wait until after marriage when his status changed? I want to make sure I'm timing everything correctly so we don't have any gaps in coverage.
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Zoe Alexopoulos
•This is incredibly helpful - thank you so much for sharing your real experience! It's such a relief to hear from someone who actually went through this and came out the other side. I love your advice about starting applications NOW before marriage - that's so smart and I wouldn't have thought of that timing. Can I ask how you found out about your state's Medicaid spend-down program? That sounds like it could be a game-changer for us since his medical expenses are pretty high each month. Also, did you have any issues with the pharmaceutical companies asking for updated income information after you got married, or do they typically base it on the individual's income? Your post gives me so much hope that we can make this work!
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Giovanni Conti
I'm a benefits counselor and want to add some important timing considerations that haven't been mentioned yet. If you're planning to marry this summer, start preparing NOW: 1. **Before marriage**: Have your fiancé apply for Medicare Part D Extra Help and any pharmaceutical assistance programs using his current individual income status. These approvals can carry forward for a period even after marriage. 2. **Timing strategy**: Consider the timing of your wedding carefully. If you marry early in a month, his Medicaid termination will likely be processed faster. If you marry late in the month, you might get an extra month of dual coverage while paperwork processes. 3. **Documentation**: Start gathering ALL documentation now - marriage certificate, income verification, medical records. Having everything ready speeds up the transition to new programs. 4. **State-specific research**: Call your state's Medicaid office and ask specifically about "disabled adult child" or "disability-related Medicaid" programs. Some states have special rules that are more lenient than regular Medicaid income limits. 5. **Backup plan**: Research COBRA options from any previous employer insurance your fiancé might have had, as another emergency gap coverage option. The system is definitely unfair, but with proper preparation and timing, you can minimize the coverage gap and financial impact. Don't let fear of the unknown keep you from this important step in your lives!
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Chad Winthrope
•This is such comprehensive and practical advice - thank you for sharing your professional expertise! The timing strategy point about when in the month to get married is something I never would have considered but makes total sense. I'm curious about the "disabled adult child" programs you mentioned - are those available in all states or just certain ones? Also, when you mention COBRA options from previous employer insurance, would that apply even if my fiancé hasn't worked in several years due to his disability? I really appreciate you taking the time to share these specific preparation steps - having a professional perspective makes me feel much more confident about creating a solid plan before we take this step!
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Ryan Young
•This is incredibly detailed and helpful advice - thank you so much! As someone new to navigating this system, the timing strategy about when in the month to get married is brilliant and not something I would have ever thought of. I'm particularly interested in the "disabled adult child" Medicaid programs you mentioned. Could you clarify what qualifies someone for those programs and whether they're available nationwide? Also, I'm wondering about the Medicare Part D Extra Help application - if my fiancé applies now using his current individual income, how long does that approval typically last before they reassess based on our married status? Your professional insight is giving me the confidence to start taking concrete steps instead of just worrying about all the unknowns!
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Freya Andersen
I went through this exact situation 18 months ago! My husband has been on SSDI for severe diabetes complications, and we were terrified about getting married because of the benefit concerns. Here's what I learned from our experience: His SSDI payments stayed exactly the same after marriage - that part was a relief. But yes, he did lose his Medicaid coverage about 6 weeks after we got married when they recalculated based on our combined income. However, we found several things that really helped: 1. **Start medication assistance applications NOW** - We applied to patient assistance programs from pharmaceutical companies 3 months before our wedding using his individual income. Most programs approved him for a full year, which gave us breathing room. 2. **Look into your state's Medicare Savings Programs** - Even with our combined income, he qualified for QMB (Qualified Medicare Beneficiary) which pays his Medicare premiums and some cost-sharing. 3. **Research your employer's insurance carefully** - My insurance had a high deductible, but we discovered they had an HSA option that helped offset costs, plus prescription coverage that was actually better than we expected for his specific medications. 4. **Document EVERYTHING** - Keep records of all current medical expenses to help with applications and to budget for the transition. The 2-3 month transition period was stressful, but we made it work. Don't let the system's flaws keep you from getting married - just plan ahead and have backup strategies ready. You've got this!
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Grace Johnson
•This is such a reassuring and detailed account - thank you for sharing your actual experience! I really appreciate you mentioning the specific timeline (6 weeks for Medicaid loss) because that helps me plan the transition better. The tip about applying for pharmaceutical assistance programs 3 months before the wedding using his current individual income is brilliant - I hadn't realized those approvals could carry forward for a full year. I'm also really interested in the Medicare Savings Programs you mentioned. When you applied for QMB, did they assess eligibility based on his individual income or your combined income as a married couple? And how difficult was the application process? Your success story gives me so much hope that we can navigate this transition successfully with the right preparation!
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NebulaNinja
I'm so sorry you're going through this stressful situation! My partner and I faced the exact same dilemma last year. After reading through all these responses, I want to add one resource that was a game-changer for us that hasn't been mentioned yet. Contact your state's Aging and Disability Services division and ask about their "Benefits Planning, Assistance and Outreach" (BPAO) program. They provide FREE one-on-one counseling specifically for people with disabilities who are considering major life changes like marriage. Our counselor walked us through every scenario, helped us calculate the actual financial impact, and even connected us with programs we didn't know existed. What made the biggest difference was that they helped us create a month-by-month transition plan with backup options for every step. They also knew about state-specific programs that even some SSA agents weren't familiar with. The waiting list can be a few weeks, so I'd recommend calling ASAP if you want to get married this summer. Having that professional guidance made us feel so much more confident about our decision. We did end up getting married, and while the transition had its challenges, having that detailed plan made all the difference. Don't let the fear of the unknown steal your happiness - with the right information and support, you can make this work!
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NeonNebula
•This is such an amazing resource - thank you for mentioning the BPAO program! I had never heard of this before and it sounds like exactly what we need. Having someone walk through every scenario and create a month-by-month transition plan sounds incredibly valuable, especially since I'm feeling so overwhelmed trying to research all these different programs on my own. Did your counselor also help you understand the timing of when to apply for different programs? I'm getting conflicting advice about whether to start applications before or after marriage. Also, when you say they knew about state-specific programs that SSA agents weren't familiar with, can you give an example of what kinds of programs those were? I'm definitely going to call about this first thing Monday morning - thank you so much for this tip!
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Diego Mendoza
I'm a social worker who specializes in disability benefits, and I want to emphasize something that might give you hope: while the system is frustrating, there ARE ways to navigate this successfully with proper planning. First, everyone is correct that SSDI won't be affected by your marriage - that's based solely on his work history. The Medicaid issue is real, but there are often overlooked options: 1. **Ask about "1619(b)" work incentive programs** - Even if your fiancé isn't working now, some states allow people to maintain Medicaid if they could potentially work in the future. 2. **Look into "Katie Beckett" waivers** - These allow disabled individuals to keep Medicaid based on their own income rather than household income in certain circumstances. 3. **Consider the timing of benefit reviews** - Medicaid eligibility is typically reviewed annually. If you time your marriage right after his annual review, you might have almost a full year before the next assessment. Most importantly, contact your state's Protection and Advocacy organization (every state has one). They provide free legal advocacy specifically for people with disabilities navigating benefit issues. They often know about programs and exceptions that even local Medicaid offices aren't aware of. Don't give up on marriage because of a broken system. With the right advocacy and planning, many couples find workable solutions. The key is getting expert help rather than trying to figure it out alone.
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