Social Security survivor benefits confusion - remarried at 57, which deceased husband's benefits am I eligible for?
I'm trying to understand my survivor benefit options and getting really confused. My first marriage lasted from 1971 to 1983 when we divorced. My ex-husband passed away in 1992 when he was only 39 years old. He had received just one month of SSDI before he died. After his death, I received $840 per month as the caregiver for our three children, and each child got the same amount. Here's where it gets complicated - I remarried at age 57 (I know, I know... should have waited until 60! 🤦♀️). I started collecting my own SS retirement at 62, and my current husband also started his retirement benefits at 62. If my current husband passes away, which deceased husband's benefits would I be eligible for? And since my first husband died so young, would he still be considered at "full retirement age" for survivor benefit calculations? I'm so confused about how all this works with the remarriage factor!
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Nia Thompson
You've got a complex situation on your hands. Since you remarried before age 60, you unfortunately cannot collect survivor benefits based on your first husband's record. If your current husband passes away, you would be eligible for survivor benefits based on HIS record only (assuming his benefit amount is higher than your own). Regarding whether your first husband would be considered at FRA - that's actually irrelevant in your case because of the remarriage before 60. But for those who are eligible, when someone dies before reaching FRA, the SSA does calculate their benefits as if they had reached full retirement age for survivor benefit purposes.
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Luca Esposito
•Thank you so much for explaining this. I really wish someone had told me about that age 60 rule before I remarried! Is there ANY way around this restriction? Like if I got divorced from my current husband and then he passed away, would I then be eligible for my first husband's benefits?
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Mateo Rodriguez
my aunt had almost the EXACT same situation!!! married young, divorced, ex died, then she remarried at like 56 or something. she was SOOO mad when she found out about the age 60 thing. nobody tells u these things until its too late
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GalaxyGuardian
•This is why the SSA system is so frustrating! There are all these random cutoff ages that completely change your benefit eligibility. 60 for remarriage affecting survivor benefits, 62 for early retirement, FRA for full benefits, 70 for maximum credits. It's like they WANT people to make mistakes!
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Aisha Abdullah
To give you a more complete picture: If your current husband passes away, you would be eligible for survivor benefits on his record only. The amount would be based on what he was receiving, but since he claimed at 62, his benefit was already reduced from what he would have received at Full Retirement Age. Specifically, you would be entitled to receive the higher of: 1. 100% of what your current husband was receiving at his death 2. Your own retirement benefit Unfortunately, the remarriage before age 60 permanently disqualified you from receiving survivor benefits based on your first husband's record. And no, even if you divorced your current husband and he later passed away, you would not regain eligibility for your first husband's benefits - that opportunity was lost with the remarriage before 60. One more thing to note: survivor benefits for a widow/widower who is at their own full retirement age are equal to 100% of the deceased's benefit, while those who take survivor benefits early (between 60-FRA) receive reduced amounts.
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Luca Esposito
•This is so devastating to learn. My first husband had a good earnings record even though he died young, and my current husband has a smaller benefit. I had no idea remarrying would have such permanent consequences. Is there any appeal process with Social Security for situations like mine where people weren't properly informed?
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Ethan Wilson
I've been through a similar situation with trying to figure out survivor benefits. Spent WEEKS trying to get through to Social Security to get answers. Kept calling that 800 number and either got disconnected or was on hold for hours. Finally found a service called Claimyr (claimyr.com) that got me connected to a live agent in under 10 minutes! They have this system that basically waits on hold for you and calls you back when an agent is on the line. Saved me so much frustration. You can see how it works in their video demo: https://youtu.be/Z-BRbJw3puU Once I finally talked to an agent, they explained all the rules about remarriage and survivor benefits. Sometimes you just need to talk to an actual person to get clarity on your specific situation.
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Luca Esposito
•Thank you for the suggestion! That sounds so much better than what I've been doing. I've called the SS office 4 times and waited on hold for over an hour each time, only to get disconnected twice. I'll definitely check out that service - at this point I just need to talk to a real person who can look at my specific situation.
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Yuki Tanaka
did u know u can actually divorce ur current husband and then if u wait until after 60 and THEN remarry him u might qualify for the 1st husbands benefits?? my neighbor did something like that tho im not 100% on the details but maybe worth asking about??
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Nia Thompson
•This is actually incorrect advice and could lead to serious problems. Once you remarry before 60, the eligibility for the first spouse's survivor benefits is permanently lost. Divorcing and remarrying the same person after 60 doesn't restore those benefits. The SSA tracks marital history, and this kind of maneuver could potentially be viewed as attempting to manipulate the system, which has serious consequences.
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GalaxyGuardian
THE WHOLE SYSTEM IS RIGGED AGAINST WIDOWS!!! This is exactly why I tell EVERYONE to get EVERYTHING in writing from SSA. They're NOT on your side and there are dozens of these "gotcha" rules that literally punish people for not understanding the incredibly complex system. I bet not ONE SSA employee warned you about the remarriage rule before you got remarried. They never do! Then when you discover the problem years later they just shrug and say "sorry, rules are rules." DISGUSTING!
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Carmen Diaz
•While the system does have many complex rules, I wouldn't characterize it as intentionally misleading. The Social Security Administration has limited resources to proactively advise every American about how their personal life decisions might affect benefits. It's ultimately our responsibility to research major life decisions that might impact government benefits. That said, I do agree the remarriage rules for survivor benefits could be better publicized, as they catch many people by surprise.
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Mateo Rodriguez
just curious, have u checked if ur eligible for any benefits from ur first husband based on ur marriage length? i think it was over 10 yrs so that might matter??
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Aisha Abdullah
•You're thinking of divorced spouse benefits, which do require a 10-year marriage (which the original poster would meet with the 1971-1983 marriage). However, divorced spouse benefits are different from survivor benefits. While it's true that having been married for at least 10 years would normally qualify her for divorced spouse benefits on her first husband's record, the key issue here is that survivor benefit rules are what apply after a former spouse has died. And for survivor benefits after a divorce, the remarriage timing (before or after age 60) is what determines eligibility, regardless of how long the original marriage lasted.
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Luca Esposito
Thank you all so much for your helpful responses. I called my local SSA office and after waiting for hours (literally), I finally gave up. I'm going to try that Claimyr service someone mentioned above to actually talk to a representative. What I'm gathering is that I'm permanently out of luck for my first husband's survivor benefits because of remarrying before 60, which nobody ever told me about. And if my current husband passes away, I'd get the larger of either my current benefit or his survivor benefit (which isn't much since he took early retirement). This whole system feels so unfair sometimes, but at least I understand it better now. Thanks again everyone.
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Carmen Diaz
•You're on the right track with your understanding. One additional thing to note: While it doesn't help in your current situation, for anyone else reading this thread, the SSA does provide a lot of information about these rules online. Their website has detailed sections about survivor benefits and the impact of remarriage. It's always a good idea to consult with the SSA (ideally in writing) about how major life events might affect your benefits. I hope your call with an SSA representative provides you with the clarity you need. Sometimes they can identify other potential benefits or options you might not be aware of.
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