Social Security survivor benefits confusion - remarried at 57, which deceased husband's benefits am I eligible for?

You've got a complex situation on your hands. Since you remarried before age 60, you unfortunately cannot collect survivor benefits based on your first husband's record. If your current husband passes away, you would be eligible for survivor benefits based on HIS record only (assuming his benefit amount is higher than your own). Regarding whether your first husband would be considered at FRA - that's actually irrelevant in your case because of the remarriage before 60. But for those who are eligible, when someone dies before reaching FRA, the SSA does calculate their benefits as if they had reached full retirement age for survivor benefit purposes.

my aunt had almost the EXACT same situation!!! married young, divorced, ex died, then she remarried at like 56 or something. she was SOOO mad when she found out about the age 60 thing. nobody tells u these things until its too late

To give you a more complete picture: If your current husband passes away, you would be eligible for survivor benefits on his record only. The amount would be based on what he was receiving, but since he claimed at 62, his benefit was already reduced from what he would have received at Full Retirement Age. Specifically, you would be entitled to receive the higher of: 1. 100% of what your current husband was receiving at his death 2. Your own retirement benefit Unfortunately, the remarriage before age 60 permanently disqualified you from receiving survivor benefits based on your first husband's record. And no, even if you divorced your current husband and he later passed away, you would not regain eligibility for your first husband's benefits - that opportunity was lost with the remarriage before 60. One more thing to note: survivor benefits for a widow/widower who is at their own full retirement age are equal to 100% of the deceased's benefit, while those who take survivor benefits early (between 60-FRA) receive reduced amounts.

I've been through a similar situation with trying to figure out survivor benefits. Spent WEEKS trying to get through to Social Security to get answers. Kept calling that 800 number and either got disconnected or was on hold for hours. Finally found a service called Claimyr (claimyr.com) that got me connected to a live agent in under 10 minutes! They have this system that basically waits on hold for you and calls you back when an agent is on the line. Saved me so much frustration. You can see how it works in their video demo: https://youtu.be/Z-BRbJw3puU Once I finally talked to an agent, they explained all the rules about remarriage and survivor benefits. Sometimes you just need to talk to an actual person to get clarity on your specific situation.

did u know u can actually divorce ur current husband and then if u wait until after 60 and THEN remarry him u might qualify for the 1st husbands benefits?? my neighbor did something like that tho im not 100% on the details but maybe worth asking about??

THE WHOLE SYSTEM IS RIGGED AGAINST WIDOWS!!! This is exactly why I tell EVERYONE to get EVERYTHING in writing from SSA. They're NOT on your side and there are dozens of these "gotcha" rules that literally punish people for not understanding the incredibly complex system. I bet not ONE SSA employee warned you about the remarriage rule before you got remarried. They never do! Then when you discover the problem years later they just shrug and say "sorry, rules are rules." DISGUSTING!

just curious, have u checked if ur eligible for any benefits from ur first husband based on ur marriage length? i think it was over 10 yrs so that might matter??

Thank you all so much for your helpful responses. I called my local SSA office and after waiting for hours (literally), I finally gave up. I'm going to try that Claimyr service someone mentioned above to actually talk to a representative. What I'm gathering is that I'm permanently out of luck for my first husband's survivor benefits because of remarrying before 60, which nobody ever told me about. And if my current husband passes away, I'd get the larger of either my current benefit or his survivor benefit (which isn't much since he took early retirement). This whole system feels so unfair sometimes, but at least I understand it better now. Thanks again everyone.

I'm really sorry you're going through this frustrating situation. As others have mentioned, the remarriage before age 60 rule is one of those "gotcha" provisions that catches many people off guard. Just to clarify one more aspect of your situation: even though your first husband only received one month of SSDI before passing, his benefit calculation for survivor purposes would indeed be based on what he would have received at full retirement age, not the reduced SSDI amount. Unfortunately, this doesn't help you given the remarriage timing, but it's worth understanding. One thing that might be worth exploring when you speak with an SSA representative is whether there are any other potential benefits you might qualify for - sometimes there are smaller programs or adjustments that aren't immediately obvious. Also, make sure to ask about future scenarios, like what happens if you become widowed again and whether there are any planning strategies that might help maximize your benefits going forward. The system really could do a better job of educating people about these critical age thresholds before major life decisions. Hang in there, and I hope the Claimyr service helps you get the detailed answers you need!

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this confusing situation! The age 60 remarriage rule is one of the most poorly publicized aspects of Social Security, and it catches so many people off guard. From what you've described, you're correct in your understanding - the remarriage before 60 permanently disqualified you from your first husband's survivor benefits, even though you were married for 12 years and he had a decent work record before his early death. One thing I'd suggest when you do get through to an SSA representative is to ask them to walk through ALL your potential benefit scenarios. Sometimes there are auxiliary benefits or special circumstances that aren't immediately obvious. Also, since you mentioned your current husband took early retirement at 62, make sure you understand exactly what his survivor benefit would be if something happened to him - it might be worth having him check if he can delay his benefits now to increase the eventual survivor amount, depending on your ages and financial situation. The Claimyr service others mentioned really is a game-changer for actually reaching a human at SSA. I used it last year when I had questions about my own benefits and it saved me hours of frustration. Good luck, and don't give up - sometimes speaking with different representatives can yield slightly different insights about your options!

I'm really sorry you're dealing with this complex situation! The remarriage before age 60 rule is unfortunately one of those "gotcha" provisions in Social Security that many people don't learn about until it's too late. Just to add to what others have shared - when you do speak with an SSA representative, it might be worth asking about your options if you were to become widowed from your current marriage. While your current husband took early retirement at 62 (which reduced his benefit), as his widow you would still be entitled to 100% of what he was receiving if you're at your full retirement age when he passes. Also, since you mentioned receiving survivor benefits for your children after your first husband's death, make sure the SSA has accurate records of all your previous benefit history. Sometimes there are administrative details or corrections that can affect calculations, even if they don't change the core eligibility rules. The system really should do a better job educating people about these critical thresholds before major life decisions. I hope the Claimyr service helps you get the detailed answers you deserve. Hang in there - understanding your options fully is the first step to making the best of your situation going forward!

I feel for you - this is such a frustrating situation that affects so many people! The age 60 remarriage rule really is one of Social Security's most unfair "gotcha" provisions. One thing I'd add to the excellent advice already given: when you do get through to an SSA representative (definitely try that Claimyr service!), ask them to provide you with a written summary of your conversation and any benefit estimates they give you. The SSA is supposed to provide written confirmation of important benefit information, and having it in writing protects you if there are any discrepancies later. Also, since you're in your early 70s now, it might be worth asking about Medicare coordination and any potential impacts on your benefits. Sometimes there are small adjustments or supplemental programs that people aren't aware of. The system really failed you by not making these remarriage consequences clear upfront. At minimum, marriage licenses should come with a Social Security impact disclosure! But you're doing the right thing by getting educated now and making sure you understand all your current and future options.