Can Social Security tell me if my ex-spouse is collecting on my record? Does SSA notify exes about benefits?

first thing - ur ex collecting has ZERO impact on ur benefits! they get their own payment and it doesn't reduce yours at all. SSA never notifies exs about being able to collect - its up to each person to know the rules and apply. And yea they go by final divorce date not separation.

To directly answer your questions: 1. No, there's no way for you to find out if your ex-spouse is collecting benefits on your record. The Social Security Administration treats this as private information protected by the Privacy Act. They will not disclose benefit information about your ex to you, nor your information to them. 2. Your benefits are NOT affected if your ex-spouse collects on your record. Their benefit has absolutely no impact on your payment amount. 3. The SSA does NOT automatically notify ex-spouses about their potential eligibility. It's entirely the individual's responsibility to apply. Many people miss out on these benefits simply because they don't know they're eligible. 4. You're correct that they use the date the divorce was finalized. For ex-spouse benefits, the marriage must have lasted at least 10 years before the final divorce date. So if you were legally married for 9 years but the divorce took 2 years to finalize (11 years total), the SSA would consider it a 11-year marriage.

The whole ex-spouse benefit thing is SO confusing!!! I went through this last year and spent WEEKS trying to figure it all out. No one tells you ANYTHING! And trying to get someone at Social Security on the phone? IMPOSSIBLE. I called for THREE DAYS straight and kept getting disconnected or waiting hours just to get cut off!!!

my cousin just went thru this! she wasnt getting any benefits then found out at 68 she coulda been collecting on her ex for like 6 years already! nobody told her nothing, her friend at church mentioned it by accident. she got benefits but missed out on all that backpay cuz SS only goes back 6 months when u apply late. system is mess.

Let me clarify a few technical points about ex-spouse benefits that often cause confusion: 1. When you divorced in 2016 after being married for 11 years total, your ex would be eligible for divorced spouse benefits if they're at least 62 and unmarried. 2. If your ex hasn't applied for benefits yet but is eligible based on age, they could receive up to 50% of your Primary Insurance Amount (PIA) if that exceeds what they'd get on their own record. 3. The Full Retirement Age (FRA) for ex-spouse benefits is the same as for retirement benefits - claiming early reduces the percentage they receive. 4. The Government Pension Offset (GPO) might reduce their benefits if they receive a pension from work not covered by Social Security. 5. Most importantly: there is absolutely no reduction to your benefit amount regardless of whether your ex claims on your record. As for notification, SSA has no systematic process for identifying and notifying potentially eligible ex-spouses. This is why many people miss out on benefits they're entitled to receive.

I GOT SO CONFUSED about all this divorce benefit stuff!!! My ex and I were only married 8 years so I didn't qualify anyway, but the lady at Social Security told me they NEVER tell people about ex-spouse benefits - it's totally on you to know about it!!!! Seems really unfair especially for older folks who don't use the internet much!!!!! 😠😠😠

btw i heard somewhere that if ur ex dies you can get survivor benefits instead of just the 50% divorced spouse thing and its higher like 100% of what they got...anybody know if thats true? asking for my sister

Something nobody's mentioned yet - if your ex hasn't reached their Full Retirement Age (FRA) and is still working while collecting benefits on your record, they might be subject to the earnings test. If they earn above the annual limit ($22,750 in 2025), their benefits could be reduced by $1 for every $2 they earn above that limit. This doesn't affect your benefits, just theirs. Also, the divorce has to have been finalized at least 2 years ago for them to collect on your record if you haven't filed for your own benefits yet. Since you're already collecting, this 2-year waiting period doesn't apply in your situation.

Just to share my experience - I had a horrible time trying to figure all this out when I was applying for benefits on my ex's record. The SSA website is confusing, and getting someone on the phone was nearly impossible. Once I finally got through to SSA, the person I spoke with was very helpful and walked me through everything. But it took weeks of frustration to reach that point. For what it's worth, no, they never contacted me about being eligible for ex-spouse benefits. I only found out from a financial advisor who happened to mention it during a consultation about retirement planning.

i forgot to mention - when ur ex applies for benefits on ur record, you will NEVER get any kind of notification from SSA. they wont tell u that someone filed on ur record or is getting paid based on ur work. complete privacy both ways. they take that super serious.

This is such a helpful thread! I'm in a similar situation - divorced in 2018 after 12 years of marriage, and I had no idea about any of this ex-spouse benefit stuff until I stumbled across this post. It's crazy that SSA doesn't proactively tell people about benefits they might be entitled to. One thing I'm wondering - does anyone know if there's a good resource or website that explains all the divorce/ex-spouse benefit rules in plain English? The SSA website is so confusing with all the technical language. It sounds like a lot of people are missing out on money they're owed just because they don't know the rules exist! Thanks to everyone who shared their experiences here. Really eye-opening stuff.

This whole thread has been incredibly informative! I'm 64 and was married for 13 years before divorcing in 2012. I had absolutely no clue about ex-spouse benefits until reading this conversation. It's shocking that SSA doesn't have any system to notify people about benefits they might be eligible for - seems like they're basically hoping people WON'T find out so they save money! I'm definitely going to look into applying for these benefits. From what I'm reading here, since I'm over 62, unmarried, and was married over 10 years, I should qualify. The fact that it doesn't affect my ex's payments makes me feel better about pursuing it too. Does anyone know roughly how long the application process takes once you submit everything? And do they typically approve these pretty quickly if you have all the right documentation?

As someone who recently went through the ex-spouse benefits application process myself, I can share a few practical tips that might help others here. First, gather ALL your documents before you even call SSA - marriage certificate, divorce decree, your ex's SSN if you have it, and your own work history. Having everything ready makes the process much smoother. Second, don't be discouraged by the phone wait times. I found that calling right when they open at 7 AM local time gave me the shortest wait. Also, if you get disconnected (which happened to me twice), don't give up - the representatives are actually very knowledgeable once you reach them. One thing that surprised me was that they asked for details about my ex's work history too, which I didn't expect. Apparently they need to verify that their earnings record supports the benefit amount they're calculating for you. The whole process took about 10 weeks from application to first payment, but it was absolutely worth it. I'm getting about $850/month that I had no idea I was entitled to. It's frustrating that they don't tell people about these benefits, but at least once you know, the system does work.

This entire thread has been such an education! I'm 62 and divorced after 11 years of marriage in 2020, so it sounds like I qualify too. What really bothers me is how this seems like such a well-kept secret - if my friend hadn't mentioned it might be worth looking into, I never would have known these benefits existed. Reading about everyone's experiences with the phone system and wait times is both helpful and frustrating. It shouldn't be this hard to access benefits you're legally entitled to! I'm definitely going to try that 7 AM calling strategy someone mentioned. One thing I'm curious about - for those who have successfully applied, did SSA ever ask you to provide proof that you're currently unmarried? I assume they can check that somehow, but I'm wondering if I need to gather any specific documentation about my current status beyond just the divorce papers. Thanks to everyone sharing their real experiences here. This community is so much more helpful than trying to decode the official SSA website!

This thread has been incredibly eye-opening for me! I'm 61 and divorced in 2019 after being married for 12 years, so it sounds like I'll be eligible to apply next year when I turn 62. What really gets me is how SSA just expects people to magically know about these benefits - no wonder so many folks are missing out on money they're legally entitled to! I've been dreading dealing with the SSA phone system based on horror stories I've heard, but the 7 AM calling tip someone shared earlier sounds like a game-changer. It's honestly shocking that we have to strategize just to talk to someone about our own benefits. One question for those who've been through this process - I have my divorce decree and marriage certificate, but I'm wondering about my ex's Social Security number. We haven't spoken in years and I'm not sure I have it anywhere. Did anyone successfully apply without their ex's SSN, and if so, how much longer did it take? I really don't want to have to track down my ex just to get information I'm entitled to! Thanks to everyone for sharing your real experiences - this community is way more helpful than the confusing official websites!

Wow, this has been such an informative discussion! I'm 59 and divorced after 13 years of marriage back in 2018, so I'll be eligible to apply in a few years when I turn 62. Reading through everyone's experiences has been both enlightening and frustrating - it's absolutely mind-boggling that SSA doesn't proactively notify people about benefits they're entitled to. The fact that so many people are discovering these benefits by accident (through friends, financial advisors, or random conversations like this) really shows how broken the system is. It feels like they're banking on people NOT knowing their rights so they can save money. I'm definitely bookmarking this thread for when I'm ready to apply. The practical tips about calling at 7 AM and having all documents ready beforehand are incredibly valuable. It's sad that we have to strategize just to access our own benefits, but at least there are people here sharing real-world advice. One thing I'm curious about - has anyone here ever tried to find out if there are other "hidden" Social Security benefits that people commonly miss out on? If ex-spouse benefits are this poorly communicated, I wonder what else might be flying under the radar that people should know about. Thanks to everyone for sharing your experiences and making this such a helpful resource!

This thread has been absolutely invaluable! I'm 63 and divorced in 2021 after 14 years of marriage, so I definitely qualify for ex-spouse benefits. Like so many others here, I had absolutely no idea these benefits even existed until I stumbled across this discussion. What really strikes me is how this seems to be a systematic issue - SSA apparently just hopes people won't find out about money they're legally entitled to. It's honestly infuriating that there's no proactive notification system for something this significant. I'm planning to apply soon and the practical advice here has been so helpful. The 7 AM calling strategy, having all documents ready beforehand, and knowing that my ex's SSN would speed things up but isn't absolutely required - these are the real-world tips you just can't get from the official SSA website. One thing I'm wondering about - for those who've successfully applied, did SSA give you any indication of how much your monthly benefit would be before you actually started receiving payments? I'm trying to plan my budget and it would be helpful to have some idea of the amount before committing to the application process. Thanks to everyone for making this such an educational discussion. This community is doing what SSA should be doing - actually informing people about their rights!