Can I handle elderly mom's Social Security without being representative payee? POA not recognized by SSA

You're right that SSA doesn't recognize POAs like banks do. Your mom needs to authorize you using SSA's specific forms. There are two main options: 1. Appointment of Representative (Form SSA-1696) - This lets you speak/act on her behalf with SSA without becoming a payee 2. Representative Payee - This is when you receive and manage her benefits directly The 1696 form is WAY easier and probably all you need right now. It doesn't give you control over the payments but does allow SSA to speak with you about her benefits and for you to help with paperwork. For when she passes, you'll need to notify SSA with her death certificate. They'll want the payment from the month of death returned.

OMG I went through this EXACT situation with my dad!!!! SSA was a nightmare to deal with. They wouldn't talk to me AT ALL even though I had POA. So frustrating!!! I finally had to drag my poor dad to the SS office in person (he could barely walk) just to get things sorted out. Such a broken system.

Just to clarify something important - when your mother transitions to Medicaid for nursing home care, her Social Security benefits won't automatically go to the nursing home. What typically happens is: 1. Medicaid will calculate her "patient responsibility" amount 2. She'll be required to contribute most of her income (including SS) toward her care 3. She'll keep a small personal needs allowance (varies by state, usually $30-$70/month) However, the payments still come to her (or her representative payee), and then must be paid to the facility. Medicaid doesn't redirect the SS payment itself. This is why many families eventually need to become rep payees to manage this process.

For the VA side of your question - the VA is actually similar to SSA in not recognizing standard POAs. You need to complete VA Form 21-22a "Appointment of Individual as Claimant's Representative" which lets you communicate with the VA about her benefits. When she passes, you'll need to notify both SSA and VA promptly (ideally within a few days) because payments received after death must be returned. Both agencies typically require a death certificate.

Have you tried calling Social Security about this? I spent HOURS last week trying to get through to a human at SSA for my own benefits question. Always busy signals or disconnections. Then my neighbor told me about this service called Claimyr that got me through to a real person at SSA in under 5 minutes. Saved me so much frustration! You might want to check out their demo at https://youtu.be/Z-BRbJw3puU or go to claimyr.com. They basically get you past the hold times. Might be useful for getting specific answers about your mom's situation.

just a heads up - if ur mom has demencia or similar you should prob just do the payee thing now. my mom has alzheimers and i waited too long, then there was a problem with her payment. ssa wouldnt talk to me AT ALL even tho she couldnt talk on phone. had to get her doctor to fill out forms saying she couldnt manage money. big mess, took 3 months to fix!

If you do decide to become a representative payee, be aware that: 1. You'll need to apply in person at an SSA office with your mom (though in some cases they can do telephone interviews if she can't travel) 2. You'll need to complete Form SSA-11 (Request to be Representative Payee) 3. SSA will evaluate if she needs a payee based on her capacity 4. You'll need to complete an annual Representative Payee Report accounting for how benefits were spent 5. You must keep her funds separate from yours (dedicated bank account) The payee arrangement is more work, but gives you much more authority to manage her benefits, especially important if her condition declines.

my sister works at a nursing home and says they deal with this all the time! they can actually help with the paperwork when someone goes on medicaid. they have social workers who know all the forms and stuff.

One additional consideration - timing matters with Medicaid planning. When your mother transitions to nursing home care and applies for Medicaid, there's typically a 5-year lookback period for asset transfers. This means if you're managing her finances with the POA, be very careful about any gifts or transfers from her accounts, as these could delay Medicaid eligibility. Many families consult with an elder law attorney who specializes in Medicaid planning to navigate this complex process.

I'm in a very similar situation with my 89-year-old father. Based on my experience, I'd strongly recommend starting with the SSA-1696 form that Ali mentioned - it's been a lifesaver for me. I was able to get it processed without needing to drag my dad to the SSA office (they accepted it by mail with his signature). One thing to add: when you fill out the 1696, make sure to check ALL the boxes for what you want to be authorized to do (receive information, act on behalf, etc.). I initially only checked a few boxes and had to resubmit when I needed broader authorization later. Also, regarding the VA - I found them actually more helpful than SSA once I had the proper forms. The VA Form 21-22a that Declan mentioned worked great, and when I called with questions, they were much more responsive than SSA's phone system. The key thing is getting these authorizations in place BEFORE you need them in a crisis. It sounds like your mom is still competent enough to sign the forms, which makes everything much easier.

I've been helping my elderly parents navigate similar issues, and I want to emphasize something that might save you headaches down the road - consider getting a consultation with a certified elder law attorney who specifically handles SSA and VA matters, not just general estate planning. While the 1696 form is definitely the right starting point, an elder law attorney can help you understand the bigger picture of how SSA, VA, Medicaid, and assisted living all interact. They often know shortcuts and specific procedures that can save you months of back-and-forth with these agencies. For example, my attorney told me that in some states, you can get a "limited representative payee" status that's less burdensome than full payee but gives you more authority than the 1696. Also, they can help you time the Medicaid application strategically if your mom does need nursing home care later. The consultation fee (usually $200-400) is worth it to avoid costly mistakes or delays. Many elder law attorneys offer free initial consultations too. Just make sure they specifically work with SSA and VA cases, not just wills and trusts. You're being really proactive about this - your mom is lucky to have someone thinking ahead about these complex issues!

This has been such a helpful thread! I'm dealing with a similar situation with my elderly aunt and was completely lost about how to handle SSA communications. The information about the SSA-1696 form has been a game-changer - I had no idea this option existed. I particularly appreciate the practical tips about bringing proper documentation to the SSA office and keeping detailed records. The suggestion about asking for an official stamped copy of the processed 1696 form is something I never would have thought of but makes perfect sense. For those mentioning elder law attorneys - does anyone have suggestions for how to find ones that specifically handle SSA/VA matters versus general estate planning? I'm having trouble distinguishing between them when I search online. Are there specific certifications or keywords I should look for? Thanks to everyone who shared their real experiences. Government websites are so confusing, but hearing from people who've actually navigated these processes successfully makes it feel much more manageable!

I'm new to this community but currently navigating a very similar situation with my 87-year-old mother. Reading through this entire thread has been incredibly enlightening - I had no idea about the SSA-1696 form option and was dreading having to become a full representative payee. A few additional thoughts based on what I've learned from this discussion: 1. The timing aspect everyone mentioned is crucial. My mom is still mentally sharp but physically frail, and I realize I need to act quickly while she can still sign these authorization forms. 2. The tip about checking with the assisted living facility's social worker is brilliant. I'm going to ask about this when I visit her next week - it makes sense that they'd have experience with these exact situations. 3. I'm particularly interested in the suggestion about elder law attorneys who specialize in government benefits. The idea of a "limited representative payee" status that someone mentioned sounds like it could be perfect for situations like ours. One question I have: For those who successfully used the 1696 form, did you encounter any resistance from SSA representatives who weren't familiar with it? I'm wondering if I should be prepared to educate the person I'm working with about this option, or if it's commonly known at SSA offices. Thanks to everyone who shared their experiences - this thread should be required reading for anyone dealing with elderly parent finances!