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My sister went thru this with my mom. The caregiver payments were a problem during Medicaid application cuz they didn't have a formal agreement. They ended up having to pay back some money to qualify mom for Medicaid. Make sure you're charging a fair market rate. In our area agencies charge like $25-30/hr for similar care, so document your hours to show you're not overcharging.
Since everyone's focused on Medicaid, I want to address your Social Security question specifically: When someone needs a nursing home, their Social Security benefits typically continue but may be used differently: 1. If she goes on Medicaid, most of her Social Security check will go to the facility as her "patient responsibility" contribution, with a small personal needs allowance (usually $30-60/month depending on state). 2. You should become her representative payee with SSA before facility placement to ensure proper handling of benefits. 3. The caregiver payments won't affect her Social Security benefits directly, but will be scrutinized during Medicaid application. Call SSA directly about the rep payee process - it requires specific forms and sometimes an in-person interview.
Good luck reaching an actual person at SSA! I tried for weeks before using Claimyr. The rep payee process also requires form SSA-11 and they usually want medical documentation about why the beneficiary can't manage their own benefits. Get a letter from her doctor about the dementia diagnosis to speed things up.
my neigbor got ex spouse benefits even with a government pension but only because his ex made ALOT of money and had huge ss benefit. depends on the numbers in your case
One more thing to consider - you mentioned you didn't have enough credits for your own Social Security benefit. However, if you've worked any jobs covered by Social Security since your initial application (even part-time), you might be closer to qualifying for your own benefit. It takes 40 credits (about 10 years of work) to qualify for retirement benefits on your own record, and those benefits wouldn't be subject to GPO (though they could be reduced by WEP). Even a small benefit on your own record might be better than nothing if the GPO eliminates your ex-spouse benefit entirely.
Let me clarify a few important points about divorced spouse benefits that might help with your decision: 1. For ex-spouse benefits, you need to remain unmarried, but the ex-spouse's current marital status doesn't matter. They could be remarried multiple times and it doesn't affect your eligibility. 2. For survivor benefits if your ex passes away, the rules are different - you can remarry after age 60 and still collect. 3. There's no "waiting period" for eligibility after a divorce, but as someone mentioned, SSA may scrutinize divorces that happen suspiciously close to benefit applications. 4. Importantly, if you're born after 1954, you cannot file for divorced spouse benefits separately from your own. Due to the deemed filing rules, you'll automatically receive whichever is higher when you file - your own benefit or the divorced spouse benefit. 5. Since you mentioned the difference is about $850/month, have you verified this takes into account any potential reduction for claiming early, if that's your plan? If you decide marriage now is important for other reasons (health insurance, home purchase), just be aware of the clean break needed before applying for benefits in the future.
Thank you for this comprehensive explanation! I was born in 1962, so I'm subject to the deemed filing rules you mentioned. I've calculated the $850 difference based on both of us claiming at full retirement age. You've given me a lot to think about regarding the timing and whether the temporary benefits of marriage now outweigh the potential loss of higher benefits later if we couldn't go through with a divorce. This is definitely a conversation I need to have with my partner.
SOCIAL SECURITY IS SO UNFAIR!!!! Why should anyone have to make these ridiculous choices between health insurance now and benefits later?? My friend had to stay in an unhappy marriage for YEARS just to reach the 10-year mark for Social Security. The whole system is designed to trap people in relationships or force them to make these weird divorce calculations. Europe doesn't make people jump through these kinds of hoops!! I'm sorry I don't have advice but I'm just so ANGRY about how complicated they make everything!!
i totally agree!! my mom lost out on like $1200 a month because she remarried at 58 not knowing about the over-60 rule for widows. nobody tells you this stuff until its too late! and trying to get answers from ssa is like pulling teeth, the website is so confusing and the phone lines are a joke
Thank you all for the helpful information! I've made an appointment with SSA for next week to discuss my options. I'm going to apply now even if I don't receive payments right away due to my earnings. And I'll definitely get information about what my own benefit would be at 70 so I can compare it to the survivor benefit at my FRA. It's complicated, but I feel much better equipped to make decisions now. I really appreciate everyone taking the time to share your knowledge and experiences.
Abby Marshall
my aunt got more money switching to survivor benefits but everyone's situation is different
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Sasha Reese
Thank you everyone for your helpful responses. I'm going to try to get an appointment specifically about widow benefits, and I'll look into that phone service if I can't get through on the regular line. It helps knowing I still have time before April to make a decision about withdrawal. I'll update once I know more!
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Sadie Benitez
•That's a good plan. Just make sure when you speak with them to specifically ask about the financial implications of each option. Get actual dollar amounts for: 1) keeping your retirement claim as is and adding survivor benefits if eligible, 2) withdrawing retirement and taking only survivor benefits now, or 3) any restricted application options available to you as a widow. Write everything down!
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