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Rachel Tao

Should I file as Single or Married Filing Separately after getting married in 2022?

Hey everyone, I'm in a bit of a tax pickle and need some guidance! I'm 35F, got married in September 2022 and had our first baby in March 2023. Here's my situation: I've always claimed "0" on my W4 forms since I started working 18+ years ago and honestly didn't update my withholding or marriage status until the beginning of this year. (Cut me some slack - I'm juggling a demanding remote job where I'm basically doing the work of 3 people while taking care of a 14-month-old, so paperwork falls through the cracks sometimes lol). My tax history has been super consistent - I typically get around $1,300-$1,400 back every year. But these last two years have been totally different. For 2022, I had two jobs (both claiming "0") and somehow ended up OWING $900 to the IRS! Then for 2023, with just one job, if it weren't for the $2,000 Child Tax Credit, I would've owed $6! When using my tax software, it's telling me that since I'm married, I have to file as married - either joint or separate. But here's the weird part - when I file as married, I owe the IRS $6 (minus the child credit), but if I switch it back to Single, I get my usual refund PLUS the child credit. My question is: since I didn't change my W4 to reflect my marriage or new dependent for all of 2022-2023, can I file as Single? I know this probably sounds dumb, but my husband and I have completely separate finances. We don't mix money AT ALL. We split everything 50/50. The house is in his name, all utilities are in his name, and I handle all the non-home related bills. I'm basically losing over $1,300 if I file Married/Separate! Why?? I intentionally always claimed "0" so I'd overpay and never be in this situation. And yes, I did try our taxes as Joint just to see if there'd be any benefit - nope! He still gets a refund while I'm paying in. I don't get it. WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE?

The short answer is no, you cannot file as Single if you were legally married on December 31st of the tax year. Your filing status is determined by your marital status on the last day of the year, regardless of what withholding status you claimed on your W4. This is a common misunderstanding. Your W4 withholding status doesn't dictate your tax filing status - they're separate things. The W4 just determines how much is withheld from each paycheck, while your filing status on your tax return is based on your actual legal status. Getting married often creates what's called a "marriage penalty" in certain income brackets, especially when both spouses earn similar amounts. It sounds like you're experiencing this firsthand. The tax brackets for Married Filing Jointly or Separately aren't simply double the Single brackets at all income levels. I'd recommend adjusting your W4 immediately to reflect your current situation. The form was redesigned a few years ago and no longer uses allowances (the "0" you mentioned). Instead, you'll need to complete it based on your household situation to ensure proper withholding.

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Thanks for the response, but this just seems so unfair! So I'm basically penalized for getting married? How does that make any sense? Is there ANY way around this, or am I just stuck paying more in taxes now?

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You're absolutely right that it can feel unfair - the "marriage penalty" is a real thing that affects many couples. There's no way around your filing status - if you're married as of December 31st, you must file as Married (either Jointly or Separately). Your best approach is to adjust your W4 withholding now to prevent owing money next year. The current W4 form allows for more precise withholding calculations. You can request additional withholding by specifying a dollar amount on line 4(c). This would help ensure you don't owe at tax time. Also, consider whether MFJ might actually be better than MFS when all factors are considered - sometimes the child tax credit and other benefits work more favorably when filing jointly.

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Does this actually work for people who have variable income? I'm a contractor with irregular payments throughout the year and I've never found a withholding calculator that handles that well. Also, does it help with state taxes or just federal?

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I'm skeptical about these tax tools honestly. How is this better than just talking to an actual tax professional? Seems like everyone's pushing some app or website these days. What specifically did it tell you that was so helpful?

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It absolutely works with variable income. There's a specific module for self-employed and contract workers where you can input your expected quarterly earnings. It generates estimated tax payment recommendations based on your projections, which has been super helpful for planning. The state tax component is actually one of its strongest features. It handles all states with income tax and shows you how federal changes impact your state withholding requirements. What impressed me most was how it explained the specific tax bracket transitions that were affecting my situation and provided customized solutions rather than generic advice.

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I was totally skeptical about taxr.ai when I first saw it mentioned here (I'm usually wary of random services people recommend), but I was desperate after facing a similar marriage tax situation. After trying it, I'm genuinely impressed. The analysis showed me exactly why my withholdings were so off after getting married. The most helpful part was the personalized withholding adjustment form it created - I just handed it to HR and my withholdings are now properly aligned with my married status. Already seeing the difference in my paychecks, but in a good way - I'm having the right amount taken out so I shouldn't owe next year. For anyone facing a sudden tax bill after marriage, it's definitely worth checking out. Saved me from another surprise tax bill and explained things in terms I could actually understand unlike the IRS website.

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If you're struggling with tax questions and need to speak with the IRS directly, I highly recommend using Claimyr (https://claimyr.com). I was in a similar situation with filing status confusion and spent DAYS trying to get through to the IRS on my own - always disconnected after waiting for hours. I was skeptical at first, but their system actually works - you can see how in this video: https://youtu.be/_kiP6q8DX5c. They called the IRS for me, waited through the hold time, and then called me when an agent was on the line. Got through in about 45 minutes when I had previously wasted 6+ hours over multiple days. The IRS agent confirmed everything about my filing status requirements and answered my specific questions about how to adjust my withholding properly for my situation. They also helped me understand exactly why my tax situation changed after marriage. Having an actual conversation with an IRS representative made everything so much clearer than just reading online advice.

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How does this actually work though? I thought the IRS had to talk directly to you for security reasons and couldn't speak with a third party about your tax situation? Do they just connect the call or what?

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This sounds like a complete scam. Why would anyone pay for something like this when you can just call the IRS yourself? Sure the wait times are long but it's FREE. Betting the "IRS agent" is just someone pretending. Has anyone actually verified this is legit?

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They don't actually talk to the IRS for you - they just handle the waiting part. The system calls the IRS, navigates the menu options, and waits on hold. When an actual IRS agent picks up, they call your phone and connect you directly. So you're the only one discussing your tax details, and the IRS agent never speaks to anyone but you. The service just saves you from having to sit on hold yourself for hours. I had the same concern about security, but it's a direct connection once the agent is on the line - Claimyr isn't part of the actual conversation. Think of it more like a sophisticated call-back system since the IRS doesn't offer one themselves.

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I need to apologize for my skeptical comment earlier. After my fifth failed attempt to reach the IRS this week (kept getting disconnected after 1+ hour holds), I broke down and tried Claimyr out of desperation. I'm honestly shocked - it actually worked exactly as described. I got a call back when an IRS agent was on the line, and was able to get all my marriage tax penalty questions answered. The agent walked me through exactly how the tax brackets work for married couples and explained why my withholding was so off despite not changing my W4. For anyone struggling with the married filing status situation like the original poster, the IRS confirmed that you absolutely cannot file as single if you were married on December 31st, but they did help me calculate the proper withholding adjustment to avoid owing next year. Saved me hours of frustration and got me accurate information directly from the source.

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One thing nobody's mentioned yet is that the "marriage penalty" hits different tax brackets differently. If you and your husband make similar incomes that are both in the middle-to-higher range, you're more likely to pay more combined taxes than you would as two single filers. When you filed as single, you each got your own run through the tax brackets. When filing jointly, your combined income pushes more money into higher brackets faster. That's why you're seeing this weird situation where you always got refunds before but now owe money. Here's what I'd recommend: 1. Complete a new W4 with the "two jobs" box checked if both you and husband work 2. Consider adding an additional withholding amount on line 4(c) 3. Run a tax projection midyear to see if you're on track The withholding system isn't automatically smart enough to handle two-income married households very well. This is super common and fixable with the right W4 adjustments.

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This makes so much more sense now! We do both make similar incomes in that range you mentioned. I'm going to fill out a new W4 tomorrow. Should I also have my husband update his, or is it enough if just one of us makes changes?

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You should both update your W4s for the most accurate withholding. Ideally, you'd complete them together since your withholdings are now linked. The most accurate approach is to use the IRS's Tax Withholding Estimator tool online and follow the recommendations it gives for both of your W4 forms. If your incomes are very similar, you could also each check the "Spouse works" box and complete Step 2 option (b) on both of your W4s. This tells your employers to withhold at higher single rates, which often prevents owing at tax time for dual-income couples. If one of you earns significantly more, that person might need to add an additional dollar amount on line 4(c) as well.

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Random tip that helped me when I got married - you might qualify for a refund of the excess Social Security tax if both you and your husband had wages over the Social Security wage base limit (which was $147,000 for 2022 and $160,200 for 2023). This happens because each employer withholds Social Security tax without knowing about the other employer. When you file jointly, you can get back any Social Security tax that exceeds the maximum that should have been withheld. Worth checking if you're both high earners!

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This is good info, but the Social Security wage base limit is pretty high. Most people don't earn over this amount, so it's not applicable to everyone's situation. Still, good to know if you are in that bracket!

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This whole situation is exactly why the tax code needs to be simplified. It's ridiculous that getting married can actually increase your tax burden. I've been using a really thorough spreadsheet to project my taxes each year since getting married in 2021. I can share it if anyone wants it - it lets you compare Single vs MFJ vs MFS side by side so you can see the differences. The most important thing I learned is that withholding and filing status are completely separate things. You can have your employer withhold at the higher single rate even when you're married by completing your W4 correctly. This has saved me from owing at tax time.

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I completely understand your frustration - this is such a common shock for newlyweds! The marriage penalty is real and hits hardest when both spouses earn similar incomes in certain brackets. Here's what's happening: When you were single, your income got its own trip through the tax brackets. Now married, even filing separately, the tax brackets for MFS are exactly half of the MFJ brackets - which often works out worse than the single brackets you used to enjoy. It's like the tax code is designed assuming married couples will always file jointly. A few practical things that might help: - Since you keep finances completely separate anyway, definitely run the numbers for both MFJ and MFS. Sometimes MFJ comes out better overall even if it feels wrong given your separate financial lives - The Child Tax Credit phases out at different income levels for MFS vs MFJ, which could be affecting your calculations - Consider having additional tax withheld from both your paychecks going forward (line 4c on the W4) to avoid this surprise next year The tax software is correct that you can't file as Single - your marital status on Dec 31st determines your filing options. But don't give up! Sometimes there are deductions or credits available to married filers that can help offset the penalty. Have you tried itemizing vs taking the standard deduction?

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